My partner and i have been trying for a baby since time immerable (10 years) and have had two nearlies.. (14 weeks and 23.5weeks).
The last one at 23.5 weeks was downright awful as the hospital we were eventually rushed to put monitors and tubes in place as they thought we were > 24 weeks but then removed them when they worked out the dates properly and said something along the lines of "we thought you were 24 weeks so we were obliged to do everything we can but you are 23". Unfortunately they just let the baby die without any help at all. Thats not ok, but i can understand the law and their reasons however hard they are.

We are now on our 9th and final IVF attempt (age is against us unfortunately), but magically we are now got furthest we have ever been able to manage :-)

It still hasn't been plain sailing though. We had an elective cerclage between 14 and 15 weeks and all was going well until 20 weeks when we were
told that there was funelling (about 1.5cm iirc). From that point onwards my partner had complete bedrest and 2 weeks later we were told that that had helped.

However a week later we had a scan and were told that the funelling had come through the stitch by 4mm but surpisingly the result of a test (FFN) was negative.

Still, my partner was admitted to hospital. After another week however the rsult of another FFN test was positive

At this stage also we were told that my partner has also a cyst in the amnoitic sac <-- we've no idea what that means.

My partner is now in hospital all the time as she has been admitted.

I'm really worried for a number of reasons. There are different midwives every night and most of them are disinterested in my partners symptoms....
For example they say "tightness in the tummy is not a problem, only call us if you get pain aswell". I know that from the last pregnancy that my partner
doesn't get pain until right at the last stages of labour, before that she is totally without pain. The midwives don't pay attention to this. My partner has tightening of the tummy with seemingly regular intervals and pain down there but it seems to be brushed off. To me this seems quite important; am I not right?
It just seems like they are waiting for "ok, you are giving birth" rather than "ok this is something we can stop".

The hospital she is in, while it certainly has a very good reputation and that is why we chose it, but heck the food is diabolical...
I have to bring food in as i'm sure my partner is not getting decent nutrician which IMHO is essential for pregnant women.

Anyhow i am not one to complain but would just like to hear if our exporeience is normal.

:-)

I have no experience, but didn't want to just read and run.

I hope things start to pick up for both of you and you get to hold your LO safe and well.

Ah hun i hope all goes ok for you and your wife, i had my last son at 26 weeks and know what a worrying time it can be, i'm here if you or your wife want to chay and i wish you all the best and hope lo stays nice and snug inside his/her mommy xx

It sounds like you and your wife are going to make excellent parents and have achived so much comming so far .

Iam so sorry to hear of your losses and allso that at 23 weeks the hospital didnt try to help .

How far have you and your wife got to this time if you dont mind me asking ? .

I hope you both have a wonderfully healthy child , And iam sorry to hear she is having a rough time in hospital . If you ever feel either of you are mistreated do not feel shy in giving a complaint to the nhs or the hospital direct !.

Good luck , Lots of hugs and positive vibes your way . xxxx .

hello

Sorry to hear your wife is in hospital I have had 5 premature deliveries ranging from 28 weeks - 35 weeks and also lost a little boy at 14 weeks as well. As you may know the positive ffn isn't the most reliable, it may say your wife will deliver in the next week or so or she may not (hopefully not).

I'm guessing the hospital have done all medically they can do? Administered the steroid shots for the babies lungs? Given your wife labour suppressing drugs? After all this I'm afraid there is nothing else but monitor the baby. Last time with my little girl, by the time I had got to 28 weeks there wasn't anymore drugs I could have to suppress labour. They had simply given me all they could but the rest helped me get to 35 weeks

At least 'if' your wife goes into labour she will be in the best place and your little one will be treated as soon as possible, such a shame your other 2 little ones didnt make it

I hope all goes well for you both, please keep in touch

Sorry to hear you've had such a rough ride.

How far along is your wife now? I too have a cervical stitch, as does another lady on this forum. She had hers put in when she had VERY little cervix left (they struggled to get the stitch in...). She's been on bed rest ever since, but amazingly is now close to her 32 week, so rest assured bed rest can do amazing things to keep baby in, as can the stitch.

Try to ignore the positive FFN test. It really doesn't mean anything bad (as i'm sure you know, it's the negative that is the reliable test..). But she's in the best place, and it's quite possible she's having braxton hicks tightenings, hence why they're not worried at the hospital. But do mention your worries to the midwifes. With the stitch they tend to wait until there's bleeding or pain as a sign of labour, as if the stitch gives way, i think you're pretty much going to bleed.

Good luck to you both

kate

Hi there i gave birth at 24 weeks and unfortunatly had a similar experiance in that the midwives didnt seem interested in my pains/lack of movement.
Which hospital is your wife in?
If you are very dissatisfied with the level of treatment you can talk to PALS, every hospital has a PALS department, andthey will investigate. They can do it confidentially as well. I wish i had complained.

awww all u parents are just the best ! hope ur baby is ok and hangs on even just few more wk....my regards xx

Hi
I just want to say really hope that things work out for both of you and the baby. Your story is heartbreaking and you both so clearly deserve the chance to be wonderful parents. Best of luck, please let us know how you get on xxx

Hi All,

Thankyou ever so much for all your kind words, I did check back here but didn't have time to post but your comments were extremely comforting and made a lot of difference to me.

It turns out I was right with the 'silent' contractions... they kept calling them braxton hicks but I knew that this was similar to last time only I really wanted to believe them. Luckily..... oh so luckily, we had the stitch in and wow did that make a difference. We would certainly have lost the baby but as it is my partner along with complete bedrest for IIRC 13 weeks (4 in hospital, yep we became part of the furniture, but i am so happy that that was the case, the longer we were there the better), managed to stretch delivery out until 28 weeks and 4 days. The funnelling got progressivly worse and eventually the cervix opened but luckily the contractions were not constant. We were not offered anti-contraction drugs although we did ask (need to look into that one).

By the end it was just a case of trying to get to the next day without deliveing, but eventually my partner succommed to an inevitable infection (what with being in hospital on constant bedrest with legs up in the air and the cervix open). When our baby girl was delivered I expected the worst but amazingly she cried and wriggled when she came out.

She is now one week old and whilst for sure we know it is early days yet, our beautiful baby daughter is doing amazingly, Within a week she has moved from High Dependancy to Low Dependancy and straight to "ok, lets keep her off the CPAP indefinitely if we can" as well as "we're looking to transfer you to a level II facility".
We can't believe it, but of course we don't want to get carried away.

Whilst I am so so so proud of my daughter (and partner, she has been through so much), I really feel for the parents of the other little ones in the NICU that have not been as lucky so far as us.

I'm now just hoping that everything stays the same or gets better :-) Again, thankyou for all the kind words right when they were needed.

Take care - Mark