Can't stop thinking about it

turbo_mom · Oct 31st, 2008, 02:00 AM

Well Angelynn's 1st birthday is quickly approaching and this last week I cannot stop thinking about the whole ordeal that we all went through. It's always on my mind but as her day gets closer I think about it more. Sometimes I sit here thinking and am ready to burst into tears. Everytime I replay it all my heart starts to pound and I have to stop. I can't beleive it's been almost a year though.. even then I can still replay every single scenario in my mind. I will never forget those horrible days in the hospital leading up to her birth. I think there's going to be alot of tears on that day...
And it honeslty makes me very nervous for baby number two... we want to start trying again but im not sure what to expect. I don't know how I would do if I had another preemie.

Anyways just wanted to vent a little and get my thoughts out there.

xXhayleyXx · Oct 31st, 2008, 04:12 AM

Didnt want to read and run hunny,

Christine33 · Oct 31st, 2008, 04:44 AM

i am sorry.

my little boy wasn't premature but he was a low birth weight baby and spent 8 days in the neonatal unit and i still go over and over it in my mind (how i never got the first special moments with him, how tiny he is compared to other babies etc). it makes me not want any more babies as i never want to feel the pain i felt when i saw my baby hooked up to monitors in an incubator.......it is hard and i still get upset now, three months later.

i hope the day goes well for you.

Christine
XXX

TashaAndBump · Oct 31st, 2008, 05:51 AM

I don't have any advice but wanted to offer some hugs instead...

clairebear · Oct 31st, 2008, 05:55 AM

wow hun i cant believe angelynn is nearly a year old.

of course her birthday is going to bring all those fears back u had such a rough time. i remember reading all ur posts about ur beautiful little girl.

did the doctors ever give u a reason for ur pre term labour. i know they werent sure to start with just wondered if they ever found out why???

yet again huge

to u and ur beautiful little girl xx

turbo_mom · Oct 31st, 2008, 15:02 PM

thanks girls

I know it's all in the past now and I have my Angel but I still won't ever forget how she came into our world. I just don't know how you moms of multiple preemies do it!!!

Clairebear they told me I had chorioamnionitis (there's a thread about it) which only happens in like.. 2% of births or something like that but it still frightens me!! I don't know if it can happen again. I don't even know how I caught it. How the hell did it come to be that way at all if it's so rare??
I just really want to enjoy my next pregnancy and birth experience and enjoy having a healthy term baby!!!

clairebear · Oct 31st, 2008, 15:25 PM

fingers crossed hun it was a one off and everything will be ok next time x x

Linzi · Oct 31st, 2008, 16:58 PM

Aw hun Im so sorry, I remember the day she was born, I cant believe it was a year ago. it must be so scary.

Even though its totally different I remember the first time I went to hospital when I was bleeding at 11 weeks and the thought still haunts me to this day, still makes me feel like crying and thats not even anywhere close to what you both went through.

Stay strong honey

xxx

**Wobbles** · Nov 1st, 2008, 07:24 AM

You, J and little miss have come through so much. Instead of looking backwards hun and remembering all those times that hurt the ups and downs the stress why not look forward .....She turning ONE and she here with you today

- Its GREAT to see she fought through her early days with the strenght from Mommy & Daddys love and awwwwwww your going to give her a little bro or sister

Time to think forward now chick you've been so strong - keep being it x

Samantha675 · Nov 1st, 2008, 07:36 AM

Wow, I can't believe it has been almost a year. So amazing how quickly it goes.

I agree with Wobbs. Take a moment that day to remember everything, then work to let it go and celebrate what a little fighter you have and how wonderfully she is doing now.

Oct 31st, 2008, 02:00 AM	#1
turbo_mom Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: calgary alberta Posts: 1,888	Can't stop thinking about it Well Angelynn's 1st birthday is quickly approaching and this last week I cannot stop thinking about the whole ordeal that we all went through. It's always on my mind but as her day gets closer I think about it more. Sometimes I sit here thinking and am ready to burst into tears. Everytime I replay it all my heart starts to pound and I have to stop. I can't beleive it's been almost a year though.. even then I can still replay every single scenario in my mind. I will never forget those horrible days in the hospital leading up to her birth. I think there's going to be alot of tears on that day... And it honeslty makes me very nervous for baby number two... we want to start trying again but im not sure what to expect. I don't know how I would do if I had another preemie. Anyways just wanted to vent a little and get my thoughts out there.

Status: Offline

Oct 31st, 2008, 04:12 AM	#2
xXhayleyXx Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Devon Posts: 3,385	Didnt want to read and run hunny,

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Oct 31st, 2008, 04:44 AM	#3
Christine33 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2,307	i am sorry. my little boy wasn't premature but he was a low birth weight baby and spent 8 days in the neonatal unit and i still go over and over it in my mind (how i never got the first special moments with him, how tiny he is compared to other babies etc). it makes me not want any more babies as i never want to feel the pain i felt when i saw my baby hooked up to monitors in an incubator.......it is hard and i still get upset now, three months later. i hope the day goes well for you. Christine XXX

Status: Offline

Oct 31st, 2008, 05:51 AM	#4
TashaAndBump Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Essex Posts: 5,518	I don't have any advice but wanted to offer some hugs instead...

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Oct 31st, 2008, 05:55 AM	#5
clairebear Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: southwest uk Posts: 11,539	wow hun i cant believe angelynn is nearly a year old. of course her birthday is going to bring all those fears back u had such a rough time. i remember reading all ur posts about ur beautiful little girl. did the doctors ever give u a reason for ur pre term labour. i know they werent sure to start with just wondered if they ever found out why??? yet again huge to u and ur beautiful little girl xx

Status: Offline

Oct 31st, 2008, 15:02 PM	#6
turbo_mom Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: calgary alberta Posts: 1,888	thanks girls I know it's all in the past now and I have my Angel but I still won't ever forget how she came into our world. I just don't know how you moms of multiple preemies do it!!! Clairebear they told me I had chorioamnionitis (there's a thread about it) which only happens in like.. 2% of births or something like that but it still frightens me!! I don't know if it can happen again. I don't even know how I caught it. How the hell did it come to be that way at all if it's so rare?? I just really want to enjoy my next pregnancy and birth experience and enjoy having a healthy term baby!!!

Status: Offline

Oct 31st, 2008, 15:25 PM	#7
clairebear Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: southwest uk Posts: 11,539	fingers crossed hun it was a one off and everything will be ok next time x x

Status: Offline

Oct 31st, 2008, 16:58 PM	#8
Linzi Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Leeds UK Posts: 15,769	Aw hun Im so sorry, I remember the day she was born, I cant believe it was a year ago. it must be so scary. Even though its totally different I remember the first time I went to hospital when I was bleeding at 11 weeks and the thought still haunts me to this day, still makes me feel like crying and thats not even anywhere close to what you both went through. Stay strong honey xxx

Status: Online

Nov 1st, 2008, 07:24 AM	#9
Wobbles Mum (Mom) Administrator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Chester Gal By Heart Posts: 50,081	You, J and little miss have come through so much. Instead of looking backwards hun and remembering all those times that hurt the ups and downs the stress why not look forward .....She turning ONE and she here with you today - Its GREAT to see she fought through her early days with the strenght from Mommy & Daddys love and awwwwwww your going to give her a little bro or sister Time to think forward now chick you've been so strong - keep being it x
	MissG Photography - Family portraits, home or away shoots, bump and baby, wedding, parties ... ANYTHING! Have your moment captured - Contact me for offers only available to BabyandBump members!
Status: Offline

Nov 1st, 2008, 07:36 AM	#10
Samantha675 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,123	Wow, I can't believe it has been almost a year. So amazing how quickly it goes. I agree with Wobbs. Take a moment that day to remember everything, then work to let it go and celebrate what a little fighter you have and how wonderfully she is doing now.

Status: Offline

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