Now, this might be because Im expecting again and a tad hormonal, but lately Iv been getting really upset with the offhand comments made from people around me.

For NY, we went down to Devon with Brookes godparents who are also expecting-this is their first baby. We were stood altogether talking in the kitchen and K said "oooh, I hope my baby comes early-I dont want to squeeze out an 8lb-er".

I looked like this and said "K, thats a bit of a funny comment to make in front of someone who has experienced a premature birth. . .please please dont wish that.thats a terrible thing to wish"

she looked annoyed Id said something, and then said "BUT my baby is CLEARLY going to be bigger than yours-its alright for you, you dont have to worry!"

Now, tell me Im overreacting maybe, but Im already feeling like Im on a double edged sword as Im just over a month from when Brooke arrived...Iv already been back and forth to the hospital 3 times with suspected high BP, im having growth scans to check my baby is growing. . .and then I hear things like this.

Does anyone else get upset by it? I realise I need to get over it, but, y'know, if people KNEW what it was like, then surely these comments wouldnt get flung about so easily. Pregnancy after a preemie is a worry enough as it is!! Anybody else?

That was so insensitive of her! People make me so mad. They just have no idea

Unfortunately you will always come across insensitive people who don't realise the full emotional and physical cost of having a premature baby - some even think it was easy that somebody else looked after my baby for the first three months!

Mind you, I do look at "normal size" newborns and think "How on earth was I meant to carry something that size in my belly?" Difference is that I've been through this, so I'm allowed to make jokes

Marleysgirl, Iv heard that one too!! Someone even asked if thats why Id fallen pregnant again so quickly, beacause Id "sooooooooo much!!" free time on my hands after Brooke was born! Honestly.

I dunno, I just seem to get upset by them. I shouldnt worry really, as whats done is done.. .oh, and Marleysgirl-Im pregnant and im STILL wondering how the hell a baby that big is going to fit inside my belly!!! bahahahaha

Hey Donna, I totally know where your coming from. I've head a girl say exactly the same thing.... She was my sister. I think people don't understand what it's like to have a baby really early. But they should know not to say it in font of us that have been through it - it's called manners. Hunnie sometimes we need to make an excuse for these people and bite our lip as I truly believe they mean no harm. If does piss u off though.

The best one I've heard is I bet you were glad you didn't need to push out a term baby. Doh yeah you stupid cow that's what I wish I had.

Hugs and strength hugs sent your way.

Dona xx

A comment like this wouldn't upset me, but I can see how it would upset others. What does bother me is that people who are supposed to care about you whether it be friends or family, and who went through the journey with you to some extent, can make such flippant comments without a thought. And then when challenged on it don't even have the manners to apologise and even fight with you about it. That's just shit.

I certainly would have it out with people who say things like that.

Totally different situation but when some random wifie told me today Abby should have a hat on, I said "Oh shut up you interfering auld biddie" I was only going round the corner to the car!

We do have to have a thicker skin than many mums, but I can imagine with the pregnancy hormones, couple with the natural worry that the same will happen again, it must be hard. Next time, remind them of the bad stuff you had to go through and simply tell them you hope with all your heart they don't have to go through it too.

I can see what you'd be upset hun, people can be insensitve and I am sure they mean no harm. I had it a lot after Poppy was born 'No wonder you only needed gas and air, she was only little, couldn't have hurt much..' She was 5lb 1, not exactly a tiddler

The worst for me, probably because it was when she was still in hospital, were the comments about having it easy while she was in SBCU and I was at home. I read via someone else's Facebook some time after that she thought I was lucky because my baby would come out of hospital with a nice little routine and I wouldn't have to do it myself. Bonkers.

Am keeping everything crossed that this LO stays inside you a while longer yet! Even if it does mean a painful labour, ha ha (just kidding hun) xxx

No I dont blame you

But the long and short of it is, a lot of people just dont understand, even though they may have seen the trauma you went through because your baby came early. And they don't think before they speak obviously!

Hope you are blooming by the way

oh hunnie thats not very nice at all, esp as she KNOWS what you went through and its clearly playing on your mind with bubs no.2. Some people clearly dont think before you speak.

Your in the best possible care now and you know yourself what to look for this time around, wishing you a long and un-eventful, pregnancy xx

Hi there.

This unfortunately is a comment made by a lot of people we speak to also. My little boy was born 27+5. Its a reaction we are becoming used to.

You have to also look at it from their point of view. Premature birth is somethiung they have never experienced and simply cannot relate to any of the issues, the feelings, or indeed the complications involved. Human nature dictates we think direct, and the direct thought is that giving birth to a small baby is going to be a lot easier, physically, than, say, an 8 pounder.

I wouldn't even call it naive, just something these people know very little about. However we find after some careful direction following one of these comments, and it soon changes their train of thought, and their facial expression