Aidan's Mummy

right

as many of you know im 16 and expecting my lil boy in 7 weeks


well im entitled to all the benifits in the uk that every mum gets. So i wasnt worried about buying nappies, clothes for Aidan and anything he needs really

well im living with my mum and dad and they said they would support me and there would be no need to get my own house with the council.

Anyway dad told me today that all the benifits i get for aidan have to go to him becasue they are having to support me and OH and it costs alot. Well im really gratefull to him for supporting us but he gets child benifits for both me and OH cos we are still in full time eductaion

and that money isnt for me and OH anyway its for aidan and everything he needs. So i said this to my dad and my dad was like we have to pay for the extra shopping somehow.

say what?? i mean they wouldnt have to buy anything for aidan i will pay for everything he needs out of the benifits i get.

and then he turned round and goes we have a certain amount of money in the bank for rent and when that goes im not going into my savings to pay for the house so i will put myself on the streets and give the house up.

at this point i nearly started to cry i mean it wouldnt just be him that he was putting on the street it would be me mum, OH, and Aidan all together.

I just dont get why he didnt say this when i first got pregnant and i was offered a house, not leave it 7 weeks before my bloody due date and have me panicking about what we are going to do.


I asked if mum knew of his plans and he said no. So should i mention it to her

im really grateful for what he does for us but i really need that moeny to buy things for Aidan cos as you all know babies are expensive.

God am i being selfish for being upset??

Any advice girls
xx

toriaaaaTRASH

Tell him to piss off. Your mums not going to agree with that surely?

ClaireLou

you will be the parent so he has no right to the allowance. is he saying he will pay for baby milk nappies and baby food and toiletries etc if you give him the money? I can see your point though - you want some independence... are you entitled to any other benefits other than the allowance because theres no way the allowance will cover everything a baby needs

ClaireLou

i think because you are the mother the benefits are legally yours to do with as you wish! if he takes it then you may argue over what is bought etc...

Aidan's Mummy

im not actually sure what im entitled to mym mum did tell me but i cant remeber it all she was going to sit down with me and sort it all out. i think its child benifit, sure start maternity grant, family allowance and job seekers allownace
xx

Magenta

he can't force you to pay the benefits to him. I'd have a word with your mum and see what she thinks about it

are you still on the council list though?

Mervs Mum

Hmmmm.... it's a tough one. I think if my daughter was pregnant I'd probably do the same thing TBH unless she wanted to go it alone. They are paying for the house and the gas and electric etc too - its not just shopping is it?? And they are helping and supporting you - thats something money cant buy when you have a new baby.

I'm not sure I fully understand what he's saying about using his savings so I may b missing something.

I think you need to keep in mind how lucky you are that you and your OH are getting to continue your education while they help you out in more ways than just financially. Lots of parents might just boot their kids out to sort it themselves.

Talk to your Mum hun - see what her take on it all is.

x

Aidan's Mummy

Nah hun she wont agree with it. thats why he hasnt told her. I just dont want to cause an argument between them. But i think she should know cos it isnt just his house and she is the one that goes out to work and brings the money in, he just sits out home all day on his computer
xx

ClaireLou

if the benefits are in your name then the money is yours. Tell them you want to be in control of the money and provide for your baby yourself. Let them keep your allowance for your usual food needs and you provide for the baby. You will want to decide for yourself what sort of clothes etc to buy and how much they cost, you may even want to save a little each month for him. I think it should be up to you. You are going to need to learn how to do this. How will you learn if they take over?

toriaaaaTRASH

Tell her!