So after a few months of not having to see her, I finally gave in and agreed to go with my OH to go see his mother.
We get there and she shows us the cot that she bought, without even asking us what we thought of it before she bought it (I had a rant about this a few months ago). The cot is bearable, I can live with it. So she shows us the blankets, pillow and cot sheets that she bought (even thopugh i've already told her very clearly that we have heaps and don't need any). I acted nice and went along saying how good they were etc.

Then after a few minutes she says very excitedly, I bought a pram/stroller so I can take her for walks. WTF? Theres only 1 kid, we only need one pram and I've already got it as she knows. Even if I was to let her babysit (which I won't b'coz her husband is a prick and kicked my OH out and keeps fighting with him and saying i'm gonna leave him, should've had an abortion etc), I would leave my pram with her as i've only got one child. Then as we were in the car to take her out to lunch, she asks if i'm going to be bf'ing, I say yes and she says that she's bought bottles for me to express into. I tell her that my mums a lactation consultant and is very fussy about any bottles, if I do need any. To which she replies that these bottles r ok for bf'ing mums etc...

I made sure I bit my tongue and didn't say anything to her bout all this but it makes me feel so annoyed. She keeps buying the stuff that a mum should be buying for herself. We could've all gone shopping for a cot together, and the bottles. Well each mother has their own preference as to what kind of bottles they want to use. Even so, I won't need any until I decide to go back to work.

So then I come home and tell my parents what she's bought, dad finds it funny and doesn't understand so I left quietly to go have a cry. Justin comes in and asks what the big deal is, he doesn't even try to understand. "It's just bottles!" Yeah, but wheres my freedom of choice? And why isn't my pram good enough? It feels like she's deliberately trying to undermine me and my decisions as Savannahs mother. So we have a big fight which he turns around and says "can you stop crying? You're crying over nothing". So i left.

He still doesn't understand, even after I told him how I feel and why. Yes she can buy things, but buy me things like clothes and blankets. Sure I have way too many but thats ok. She has bought me a few very useful things- like a digital thermometer and a baby grooming set. I don't have either and it's fantastic that she bought them coz i didn't think of getting anything like that.

But now dad just came in an helped me understand... She has to live with a wanker of a husband and probably doesn't have much to enjoy in life. This is her way of enjoying it, especially since we live with my parents so they see us all the time. Damn him, why does he have to come in and rationalise it. Now I see that she's only doing it for herself, to gie herself something to look forward to. Sigh. I'm glad I didn't say anything nasty to her.

But I'm still upset and rationalised or not; nobody's taking this emotion away from me damn it.

Justin should consider himself lucky that i've barely cried at all over the last 9 months.

Rant over.

I know exactly how you feel!!! My step mother in law (OH's step mom) couldn't have children and actually likes to step in when I'm not raising Damien the way she wants him raised. We've had it out a couple different times because of it and now both OH's father and step mother don't get to see Damien (or this baby). It's great that she get excited but at the same time she should have the respect about what you want and need and not what she feels is best when it's not her child.

I hope that things get better for you and maybe you could have a little conversation with her telling her that it's great that she's excited but when it comes to some things to think of you and ask you what you think first. Pregnancy is a hormonal time and most of all when you're 39 weeks (congratulations!!) Take time and breath and try to relax I'm sure everything will be fine.

Thanks hun. Good to see im not being overly emotional. It just hurt me most when my OH didn't even try to think of why I was upset. I realise it's her first grandchild, but why doesn't anyone bring in that it's my first child?

I really don't think men understand the importance of having everything just right for your baby.

I have the opposite problem to you. My in laws live about a 3 minute walk from our house and they never come to see our little boy or buy him anything. The last time we saw them was at the end of july!!

I have had it with my mother in law too, she is such a pain in the bum, but I have to put up with it. From how I should be doing things and what I should get. She is disabled, her right arm is paralised and she said to me the other day, what pram are you getting, the one with the handle straight across or one with two handles, I said probably the one with the one straight across, she said thats ok then because I can push it, I thought wtf, its been nearly a year since she last looked after the two I got why would she be pushing it. So now I feel like I want to get the one with two handles.
When mine have been abit naughty, she has said I would smack em if I was you, again I thought wtf I don't really smack my kids, why should I listen to you, the kids love it because I do the oposite of what she says LOL.
I think we just have to get on with it and ignore them.
Luv Cheryl xxx

Bex- WTF? What lazy grand parents!
Cheryl- I like your style, i'd do exactly the same thing

My MIL has been pretty good up to now but I fully expect it will kick in once she's born.

I'll be back with my rant soon Sarah!!

x

Unfortunately my bubs' Daddy's parents passed away some time ago, so he/she will only have my parents as grandparents. However, having seen the trouble which one of my brothers has had, and also my best friend, with their MILs, I do sympathise.
I think sometimes MIL just get carried away and find it hard to make the transition from parent to grandparent, and are not used to taking more of a backseat role. Hopefully things will settle down soon.
xxx

Aww, ive actually been very lucky and my MIL has only brought one thing for us which was the pram- which we choose and ordered for her to pay for! Its great!
I do understand how you must be feeling that she is trying to take over but equally shes obviously very excited about the prospect of being a granny and just wants to feel apart of it! Have you tried going shopping with her and pointing out the things you like so she gets th hint that way?
Try not to get upset about it shes just trying to be helpful but going the wrong way about it! xx