Ann-Marie

I was just explaining to Lewis that everything I've been upto for the last few days, are to help Mia be born.... and he asked if he could come when she is born. He knows where the baby comes from and we are very open as a family and walk around naked without thinking much about it to be honest.
Anyways.. before I got a chance to answer, Derk just turned round and looked horrified, saying no.
Do you think it's right to let him be there for the birth? I think it would be quite educational for him, and he could leave the room anytime he got uncommfortable. He's wathced the baby shows with me.. and said things like... 'Wow, did you make that much noise when you had me an Ethan'.....

opinions please.

p.s He's 6.

Mervs Mum

Hmmmmmm......a good one.....

I think it might be a bit much for him to see you in pain - I know there are lots of hubbys who struggle with that so your baby probably might. But the other side is that it might help you to focus and keep a lid on things.....so....who knows.....me personally, I wouldnt have Emily there but I can see both sides....

x

hsollis

I think you'll have to probably talk with OH and decide. This is my first so I have no reference advice to give.

Were your other labours very painful? One thing I would worry myself about is the effect of seeing you in pain for a time especially if it is a long labour...and being only 6....

It's a tough call and good luck with whichever you choose!!!

Sorry I can't be more help!!

Ema

Personally Me: i think its a wonderful idea. Me and OH were actually discussing it the other night because i asked him how he would feel about my birth being filmed (not the same i know) but just so we had it, encase in the future we wanted to watch it....and he said he would be happy to film it and thought it was a good idea as its an amazing experience.

So for your son to be there and be comfortable there i think it would be wonderful.

I know this isnt the same but if someone let me stand in now and watch them give birth. I would love to and im older so for a 6 year old to be willing to see his sister be born, and share that experience sounds amazing.

Of course you would have to explain alot to him regarding seeing him mummy in pain so it wasnt tramatic and get derek to help while in labour explain its all natural. As even tho he's seen the programmes etc....actually seeing your mummy in pain could be hard to deal with. If that was explained to him i think its a great idea (in my opinion)

Also may help you handle labour differently knowing your sons watching. Might make it more enjoyable for you. And a much more family experience.

Also if i remember you saying this will be your last??? Well wouldnt it make it one to remember XxxX

(sorry if rambled on )X

Ann-Marie

Yeah... I just sat here and remembered the panic at the end of my labour with Ethan... I wouldn't want him to experience that. Also... I think Derek attentions are going to be on me too much to be able to take responsibilty for Lewis too.. and I'm not having anyone else there with me. So, I've decided against it. Maybe if he was a bit older, and I'd had more time to think about it and prepare him..... I wonder if anyone else on here is having their children present... like if you have a home birth.

Ann-Marie

I liked the idea of him being there keeping me focused. But if it didn't and seeing me like that traumatised him, I'd never forgive myself. It is pretty amazing for him to ask though I'm really proud of him for wanting to share it. I don't know how to tell him it's not a good idea now, without being negative.
Maybe I could film it too...........

Mervs Mum

Filming it might be the next best thing for him and Ethan could share that too....

x

Ema

Maybe you could film it...and after if he wanted to watch it with you he could....as that wouldnt be as bad.
Bad example but its like watching a ghost film aint as bad as thinking there's a ghost in your house (bad example but you get the jist)

He is really something to ask to be there. Takes alot that XxX

HkLiz

my neighbor had her daughter there to watch the birth of her lil sis. She was only 4. She said that trev loved being there to see her sis born. I guess it all depends on what you are comfortable with.

nikky0907

Yeah,I agree with Ema...maybe film it and he and Ethan (and maybe even Mia) would like to watch it once they are a bit older.
It's not the same as experiencing it live but the next best thing....

From a psychological perspective : kids get upset when they see their parents crying,so they start crying themselves,especially their mothers.
So he might get very confused seeing you in pain.And it's very hard for the kids to coprehend that the pain is part of the process...Their minds are very one-dimensional at that period in life.

But that is sooo sweet of him to ask! He is gonna be such an amazing (and very strict) big brother!