Spartacus

I am in the office on my own today and sitting here bawling my eyes out which I haven't done in a long time.

I don't know whether I am getting paranoid or not but feel like my boss is really unhappy with me.

Recently there has been comments along the lines of how was your antenatal class today, my classes started 3 weeks ago and are every Thursday 9.30-12pm, I then come in straight after unless I have a midwife appointment which their clinics are always on a thursday and in the afternoons so by the time I finish there it is not worth commuting into London as I would get here for 3pm and I finish at 5.30pm.

So yesterday I got in the office after my antenatal class and one of my bosses said so have you found out how to have a baby now then? and I said it was a really good class really enjoyed it and my big boss said well you don't have to go to the last 2 then will u! I know he said it jokingly but he has been quipping about this in the last 2 or 3 weeks. Also a couple of days ago he made a comment about the girl I replaced saying such and such would have done this and I feel that I have never really come out of her shadow as she worked here a long time and i just really take that personally as i know I am good at my job and I think I have taken on more than she did.
Also I have just put the phone down from him as he was calling from home and said the management accounts I did for one of our companies was crap - basically I missed something off the balance sheet I should have put on it but it was the way he said it just really made me feel awful I mean I don't often make mistakes and sorry if I had.

I don't want to make him out to be horrid because he is actually a really nice boss normally but I am just getting this feeling that it is because I am pregnant and it is an inconvenience to him as we are a small company.

Also my mum has been suffering from Myeloma cancer for the past 15 years and unfortunately it had returned this year in March so she had to have high dose chemotherapy unfortunately she contracted pneumonia whilst she was in hospital and ended up in intensive care and we were told that she probably wouldn't pull through so I took off I would say 10 days due to just being by her bedside everyday as we are a close family and looking after my dad and sisters was hard as was bittersweet with me being pregnant and nearly losing my mum. Thankfully she pulled through but is still undergoing treatment that we hope will work. Anyway I had to take that as holiday well say had to I kind of had the conversation with my boss about holidays and he asked how many i had taken and I said if included the time off I had when mum was poorly it is such and such so he didn't say well that was compassionate leave he just left it at that - which to be honest in the grand scheme of things I don't care but still makes you think...

Am I just being completely paranoid and emotional wreck? Feel really fed up at the moment and like I can't do anything right here anymore which upsets me as I take pride in my work and capabilities. Don't you feel as a woman we can't sometimes do anything right as in get pregnant, return to work afterwards, full time or part time? the worry about leaving your baby with someone and missing out on your baby's first years....god I sound so miserable don't I - I am sorry if i have waffled away here but just needed to get it off my chest and really appreciate if you read this far
xx

princess31

Sounds like you are very emotional and rightly so. I personally think some men (not necessarily intentionally) are very insensitive about the whole pregnancy thing and probably a little jealous too. It sounds like he's trying to push you and maybe get the most out of you before you desert him!

Hope you feel better soon, chocolate always helps!

xxx

Spartacus

Thanks for your message princess x Just feel like I want to curl up in a ball (as much as you can with a bump and just sob is pathetic isn't it I mean there are worst things to get upset about.

He doesn't have any kids himself and never wanted any so I don't think that helps either. Have also been here for 2 years when I go on maternity and I don't want him to think that I duped him into getting a job and then got pregnant I mean I don't get any benefits apart from SMP which being a small business they get back 90% of it so don't actually lose out apart from losing me for 9 months of which I am dialling in once a week as of December so still doing work. I also had to find out everything to do with maternity payments etc as he has never had to deal with it - i now wish I had said I stayed on full pay throughout 9 months!

Cleza

aaawwww hun. Sending you lots of hugs. You every have right to be upset. i would be as well. I think some bosses resent us ladies getting pregnant as it's a lot of work for them to do i.e finding cover, sorting out maternit leave etc etc BUT that doesn't give them the right to be nasty to us.

Could you maybe have a word with him & just let him know that you are quite upset by his comments & that these classes etc are very important, that you feel you do your best at your job & value working there. He may not even know that he's upset you or even know that his words sound mean.

Chin up lass, just think that in a couple of months you'll have a beautiful baby too look after & everything that has ever been said will be long forgotten xx

BeckyBoo

The thing is hun, not alot of companies are sympathetic because they have a job to do. And what's happening to you isn't happening to them. But boy do you hear it when it is. It's easier to be a snob than a kind ear. Alot of companies don't appreciate home and work life coming together.

It's not a personal attack against you, it's just how they work. And you just have alot on your plate at the moment and it's just getting to you hun. That's why you feel like you are. You need to relax tonight, have a bath, some chocolate and be you for 2hours.

I hope things ease soon xx

nessajane

Im sorry youre having a rough time of it

Have you thought of talking to your boss and explaining how you are feeling and explain youre also having alot of personal problems with Family etc and that you dont need the added pressure and stress of the niggly comments coming from him in work?

Hope you feel better soon

Spartacus

Thanks ladies for your comments it has made me feel better.

I think hormones have made me read into it a lot more and I will definitely speak to him next week as he could have his own stresses etc and just worried so we need to both get back onto the same page.

It is probably also I only have 6 weeks left of work before maternity leave and probably subconciously anxious about that too.

I hope you all have lovely weekends

thelilbump

jus wanted to send you some

My boss had a period of what felt like him trying to push me out. I just put up with it, things like that wind me up and i think why the hell should i!! As hard as it is hun ignore him he's just bein an a*se. U can't have long till your maternity leave kicks in now? The you won't have to see him for a while. If its really getting you down then you could always move your maternity leave a week or 2 earlier?

Spartacus

Thanks hun x

Yes I guess that is how it feels like being pushed out. I will speak to him I think though next week as I don't want to feel like this and he might just think he is saying things flippantly and not realising the effect it is having I guess.

Yes only 6 weeks until maternity leave kicks in and your right if it gets too much I will bring it forward.

So glad it is friday though don't think I could motivate myself to come in tomorrow!

Hoping

Hi,

I really feel for you, and I am not sure whether we feel more paranoid or not when pregnant, but I had a very similar experience during the past 3 weeks or so. I had saved up enough holiday to be able to start my maternity leave early, and last Friday should have been my last day in the office (taking August as holiday, and then starting my mat leave on 1st September).

Anyway, I had my mid year appraisal the week before, and it was awful. Really negative and critical which upset me as I work really hard and what was in there had not been put to me in that way before. I put my thoughts down with some questions in an email for my boss, and she basically blanked me for the whole of my last week, and then had a right go at me on Thursday evening. I got in such a state that I could not sleep on Thursday night, and the thought of going in for my last day made me feel terrible. My GP signed me off with stress for 2 weeks. A lady from HR came to see me yesterday to try and see what the company could do to help.

I do feel a lot better than I did a week ago, I think because I am off now and therefore don't have to worry about it. But I know I need to resolve it if I want to go back to work in a years time. I felt a bit like I wasn't sure if I was reacting to things because of being pregnant, or if I was being treated differently because of being pregnant. But whatever it is, you need to make sure that you are taking good care of yourself for LO's sake. I felt guilty that I thought the stress hormones were passing right into baby!

Maybe you should see if you can talk to your boss about how you are feeling? I know that is hard though, because you don't want it to seem like you are playing the pregnancy card. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you sort it out and feel better really soon.