Ema

Question for everyone…..

Well yesterday I got some exciting news my OH’s Best friend is expecting his 1st child with his girlfriend….she is 6 weeks along. So we took them out for a meal to celebrate. It wasn’t planned but they are excited….

Anyway this is where it got complicated

She is only 18 and already has a 3year old from another person, so this is not her first child. We were speaking about things etc and she came out with…

“would you have carried on with your pregnancy if you found any abnormalities with baba?”

To which I replied…..” Yeah I would because by the time I had my blood tests done I could already feel baba move and to me I knew I would love him no matter what.” And continued with “why????????”

To which her reply just mad me feel sick “ Well were not keeping this one if something is wrong….we’ll just have a abortion if they find something at the 20week scan and try again”

I WAS COMPLETELY GOBSMACKED!! Like she was speaking about a pair of shoes or something…..NOT A BABY!!!

Now the funny thing is she already has a child and knows what its like to be pregnant and how you bound with your baby…..

Luckily she aint a close friend of mine, Im friends with her OH, as I don’t know if I can continue to speak to her about pregnancy realated things if this is her attitude!!!!

But just wanna know if im blowing this well out of proportion or if I have a right to feel like this????

Spartacus

Hey hun

I think I would have choked on my food at that point!! I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion but to say that out loud is horrid!! like you said just to treat it like it is a pair of shoes that if you don't like they are dispensable how horrid also as I am sure for some people that aren't as blessed at being able to conceive the way she seems to think she is able to by just getting rid of this one and having another tsk!

If I were you I wouldn't talk about pregnancy with her anymore. What did you say when she said that? or were you too gobsmacked I don't honestly know what I would say especially being pregnant and knowing that when you get to 20 weeks baby is formed and you can feel him/her moving which is why I still can't believe the abortion limit is 24 weeks.

sorry rant over xx

Ema

I didnt know what to say....I know she is entitled to her own opinion too.....But COME ON to say that aloud and to a pregnant woman.....I dont know what she was thinking!!

I just asked he what if she could conceive again....to which she replied "I will be able to, ive managed twice!" Sorry i know im only 21 and she is 18 but she got a HELL of alot of growing up to do!!

Sorry to rant (and i dont mean to offend anyone) But some people make me soooooooo MAD! XXX

em82

i can understand where you coming from but everyone is different. maybe she feels she /they would not be able to cope with a disabled /or child with problems? she is young tho so maybe it is her age.
try not to let it make you dislike her incase they end up tog forever!!!!!!!!
xxxx

Spartacus

No I completely agree with you was a very stupid and insensitive thing to say!! Some people are just idiots!!

aj2000

Gosh - I'd have been a bit shocked too! Some people do think like this though, sadly. Sorry you had to listen to it though hun

Ema

Oh dont get me wrong....I know eveeryone is diff it was jst the way she said it....There are milions of woman dying for a baby- no matter if they had 3 eyes etc and she just said she would get rid of it and try again without even considering it.......Like you can just tose this living being aside and get another that is 'Perfect' or what society classes as perfect......

Sorry im just a little disgusted....XXXX

bexy_22

I used to think that if I found out my baby had something wrong with them like downs syndrome or a severe brain condition that I would not be able to bring them into the world knowing they would probably have a poor quality of life because I don't believe that's fair. However since then my thoughts on that have changed slightly, now I know what it's like to carry a child and have that closeness. Especially feeling her move inside me, I couldn't imagine ever giving her up. I understand why she would say it but not when she herself is pregnant saying it to another pregnant woman! It's very insensitive and her attitude is completely wrong. "We'll just have an abortion and try again???" What's that all about? It annoys me that some peeople can get pregnant so easily and have that kind of attitude and then there are others who are desperate for a child no matter what problems they might have and they can't have them.
Even if I had Grace and she was born with something wrong with her I would still love her unconditionally because she's mine. She seems very shallow and I sympathise with her child if god forbid it isn't "perfect"

Ema

See thats the things cause she has a 3yr old and knows what its like to be preg so to make that decision so easily.....The mind boggles it really does.....maybe im reading far to much into it but i must admit i see her in such a completely diff light XXX

Christine33

i understand where you are coming from....since being pregnant i have way more sensitive about subjects, in particular abortion. i think it is more my problem than theirs as i am so in love with my baby i cannot understand why anyone would want an abortion - does that make sense? i mean, i don't understand why they don't love their beanie like i love mine. i guess it is different circumstances, age, relationship situation etc...i try so hard not to judge

i don't think it was nice to say that to you and she does sound rather 'cool' at the thought of an abortion (a decision many woman would struggle over). very sad.

just try and forget about it..

Christine
XXX