What do you do if your birthing partner lets you down?

KamKol · Mar 13th, 2010, 17:08 PM

Has this ever happened to anyone before?

Like if s/he gets too overwhelmed to help, or faints or something like that - what do you do?

DH wants to be there at the birth with me because he wants to be a supportive husband but he's really sqeamish and can't handle the sight of blood or see pain. I'm worried he might not be able to hack it. I'm taking my mum with me too just in case because I know she can hack the pressure but just wanted to know other ladies thoughts and experiences.

lynnikins · Mar 13th, 2010, 17:15 PM

he wont lol, he was fine during ds's birth just got emotional seeing me in pain and not being able to do anything about it,
put some faith in your OH if nessacary he can stay by your head and hold the gas and air mouth peice and only look at your face and avoid seeing all the messy bits but i bet he surprises you,

if all fails then the MW's are good and will support and coach you,

acdmommy · Mar 13th, 2010, 17:55 PM

if the worst happens which it does sometimes, you just have to keep going. haha not like once you start you can really stop but just focus on baby and breathe and i am sure your OH will be more than happy to coach you with that

flame · Mar 13th, 2010, 18:39 PM

Im taking my mum in with me and the dad can wait outside the room

MiissMuffet · Mar 13th, 2010, 20:19 PM

my OH will be there obviously, and so will my mum. but my mum txt me last night and said i have to have my baby either at night or on a sunday as she works. (only house cleaning for people so its not an official "job" I was like um ok, well i am sure u could take a day off to be with your daughter when she gives birth, she just said she doesn't have the luxery of having days off as she needs the money. i thought this is abit unfair i do feel very let down, so i through the "well if u arnt there then dad will be" card at her (she doesn't like my dad right now). if she isnt going to be there for me coz she has to work to get an extra 20 dollars then stuff her!

LogansMama · Mar 13th, 2010, 20:19 PM

My dh was pretty useless during my last labor. He was nervous and just pretty much paced the whole time. He didn't know how/what to do to help me. Wasn't his fault really - he couldn't help it.
I'm hoping this time he does better. We'll see.

What I can say is that lots of people will surprise you when their adrenaline starts pumping...

LogansMama · Mar 13th, 2010, 20:20 PM

MissMuffit - I bet when the time comes your mom will cave and take the day off if need be!

MiissMuffet · Mar 13th, 2010, 20:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LogansMama

MissMuffit - I bet when the time comes your mom will cave and take the day off if need be!

she better!! lol!
and if she doesnt i will call my dad and have him there, he would jump at the chance, its just that i obv cant have them both there at once, but if dad ends up coming then i know its gonna turn mum sour, and i dont really need that. aarrgghhh!!!!!

katekatekate · Mar 13th, 2010, 20:57 PM

I'm bringing my OH's mum just incase lol. My OH went funny when I had my blood taken so god knows what he's gonna be like.

sabriena · Mar 13th, 2010, 21:17 PM

I doubt my husband and mom both would let me down during the birth.

However! My sister's boyfriend at the time (father of the baby) did horribly in there with her. Thankfully my mom was with her or she would have been by herself. While she was in labor and all that he actually laid down and went to sleep. Not when she was sleeping or anything..but when she was actually contracting and in pain. Crazy. I guess the whole time he acted like he was horribly tired and didn't really do the things that he should have done. Of course now he sees the things he did were wrong..you just can't take that stuff back though! haha

Mar 13th, 2010, 17:08 PM	#1
KamKol Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: UK Posts: 2,171	What do you do if your birthing partner lets you down? Has this ever happened to anyone before? Like if s/he gets too overwhelmed to help, or faints or something like that - what do you do? DH wants to be there at the birth with me because he wants to be a supportive husband but he's really sqeamish and can't handle the sight of blood or see pain. I'm worried he might not be able to hack it. I'm taking my mum with me too just in case because I know she can hack the pressure but just wanted to know other ladies thoughts and experiences.

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2010, 17:15 PM	#2
lynnikins Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Elite Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Chessington, Surrey Posts: 14,443	he wont lol, he was fine during ds's birth just got emotional seeing me in pain and not being able to do anything about it, put some faith in your OH if nessacary he can stay by your head and hold the gas and air mouth peice and only look at your face and avoid seeing all the messy bits but i bet he surprises you, if all fails then the MW's are good and will support and coach you,

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2010, 17:55 PM	#3
acdmommy Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Blue River, BC, Canada Posts: 509	if the worst happens which it does sometimes, you just have to keep going. haha not like once you start you can really stop but just focus on baby and breathe and i am sure your OH will be more than happy to coach you with that

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2010, 18:39 PM	#4
flame Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 253	Im taking my mum in with me and the dad can wait outside the room

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Mar 13th, 2010, 20:19 PM	#5
MiissMuffet Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 9,927	my OH will be there obviously, and so will my mum. but my mum txt me last night and said i have to have my baby either at night or on a sunday as she works. (only house cleaning for people so its not an official "job" I was like um ok, well i am sure u could take a day off to be with your daughter when she gives birth, she just said she doesn't have the luxery of having days off as she needs the money. i thought this is abit unfair i do feel very let down, so i through the "well if u arnt there then dad will be" card at her (she doesn't like my dad right now). if she isnt going to be there for me coz she has to work to get an extra 20 dollars then stuff her!

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2010, 20:19 PM	#6
LogansMama Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: South Florida Posts: 2,835	My dh was pretty useless during my last labor. He was nervous and just pretty much paced the whole time. He didn't know how/what to do to help me. Wasn't his fault really - he couldn't help it. I'm hoping this time he does better. We'll see. What I can say is that lots of people will surprise you when their adrenaline starts pumping...

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2010, 20:20 PM	#7
LogansMama Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: South Florida Posts: 2,835	MissMuffit - I bet when the time comes your mom will cave and take the day off if need be!

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Mar 13th, 2010, 20:57 PM	#9
katekatekate Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Leeds, UK. Posts: 760	I'm bringing my OH's mum just incase lol. My OH went funny when I had my blood taken so god knows what he's gonna be like.

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2010, 21:17 PM	#10
sabriena Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Indiana, USA Posts: 1,331	I doubt my husband and mom both would let me down during the birth. However! My sister's boyfriend at the time (father of the baby) did horribly in there with her. Thankfully my mom was with her or she would have been by herself. While she was in labor and all that he actually laid down and went to sleep. Not when she was sleeping or anything..but when she was actually contracting and in pain. Crazy. I guess the whole time he acted like he was horribly tired and didn't really do the things that he should have done. Of course now he sees the things he did were wrong..you just can't take that stuff back though! haha

Status: Offline

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