Well heres the background of my previous birth experiences................... I have 2 DD's already and am now nearly 27 weeks preg with dd no 3 I have had 2 very different labours and births, and with my youngest my labour and birth didnt exactly go as i wanted. She was born at 35 weeks after my waters breaking early (while we were ) Well all was going ok at 1st but then with the pain becoming more intense, and with me basically confined to te bed because of monitoring etc, i got onto the gas and air. I begged my hubby not to let me loose control of my head as i did before with my 1st DD but sadly he wasnt strong enough with me nor were the MW's and yup, it happened again ! I was given pethadine too which i didnt want, but OH agreed to it (not even knowing what it was) and i completely lost the plot ! This doesnt happen very often to people apparently, but i felt like i was continually falling out of the sky! I was sick, i wet myself and i was shouting obsenities etc which is totally out of character for me. Basically i dont even remember anything and i found it hard to bond with her. i dont remember much around the time of her birth and even a year after and im sure its because i continually breathed the gas and air for about 7 hours !!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW.................. why am i lucky ????? I am having a private midwife (kind of) She is a friend of a friend from work, and she works at the hospital where im going to have my baby. she will be my birthing partner along with hubby to give me total confidence, and be someone to reassure hubby etc. She will be there to make sure i keep my head together, and be firm with me if i start to loose it. She will encourage me to breath properly etc and tell me to use gas and air only through contractions etc. She will also help me move into more comfy positions etc and hopefully be the one to actually bring my baby to me. She is coming to see me b4 i go into labour to discuss my fears and what i want her to do etc, be there throughout labour and delivery, and will be there to help baby to the breast etc. Im so excited and feel so lucky! She doesnt want to be paid, but i will make sure she gets a bloomin good gift! I'm thinking of giving her £100 worth of vouchers for our local spa centre where she could get a lovely massage and facial or something!

I am so much more relaxed about the whole thing now. It was never about the pain, but about keeping my head as i want to be able to enjoy this birth. I think my hubby is really happy about this too as although he is such a loving and caring person, he finds it so hard and isnt strong enough to be firm with me etc. It will be great for him to have someone there to support him too.

Thanks for reading.

Laura xxx

You should seriously think about an epidural and take away the need for any of the stuff that mess with your head at all. You'll be in total control of your mind through all of it and still not be in pain.

That's great! I'm glad you feel so confident in your new midwife. It's cool that you have such concrete ideas as to what you do and don't want happening.

Thats great hun. Sounds like your birth may go better this time round. Fingers crossed here for you.

How wonderful you have such an experienced birth partner this time around. I really hope you have the birth experience you wish for