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Mother-in-Law follow-On... (Rather Long Ramble)

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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 14:16 PM   #1
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Mother-in-Law follow-On... (Rather Long Ramble)


I was so relieved to see I am not the only one with MIL worries. The hospital where I will give birth has strict policies regarding visitors etc.
You are allowed 2 people with you for the actual birth (my hubby and sister), then a maximum of two visitors at a time during visiting hours (3pm - 8pm).

My MIL lives and works closer to the hospital than my mum. Both mums have said they plan to drop everything and rush to the hospital as soon as they hear I have gone into hospital. I have tried to explain (as diplomatically as possible) that I would prefer no visitors until we get home, but they are both adament that they dash over straight away. Unfortunately my sister still lives at home, so I will be tricky for my mum not to find out if it all kicks off during the night.

My hubby keeps telling me not to worry about it but I have started having nightmares about the 2 mums fighting over who gets first cuddle.

Nina will be the first grandchild for both mums and beacuse Jay is an only child his mum says this might be her only ever grandchild. We do get on quite well but her and my mum have very different opinions on almost everything. My mum is quite sensitive and extremely excited and rings me at least 4 times day to make sure I am OK. (she is quite a fuss pot), where as I get the occasional text off MIL.

SO SORRY TO WAFFLE ON BUT I REALLY NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.

Thank you all for reading.
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 14:20 PM   #2
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Dooby I am so sorry they are stressing you out. My MIL is in another country, so I don't have that to deal with. Just keep stressing to the both of them that as soon as you get home, they are welcome to come over for a visit.
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 14:23 PM   #3
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Sometimes I think people can get so caught up in the excitment of meeting a new baby that they don't realise quite how selfish they're being and it's something that really annoys me. Ultimatly this is your baby & your special moment and nobody should be allowed to ruin that by making you worry. Even if it is your parents or inlaws. They have a right to be excited but really should know when to back off.

My mum is very similar - she's easily hurt but very determined she wants to be there & pretty much won't take no for an answer which I feel is very rude because it's not her choice!

Maybe if your sister understands the situation she will be able to be discreet about leaving the house in the middle of the night without getting caught!!

I hope it goes ok for you & I've learnt now it's best to just be firm and say no clearly!
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 14:24 PM   #4
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Thank you Samantha, I do sometimes wish my MIL lived alot further away!!
Good luck with your pregnancy.
Julie
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 14:27 PM   #5
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Thanks Anita, Great idea about my sister, I might put her in charge of the whole situation as she is quite strong minded and rather protective (in a good way).
XX
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Old Apr 24th, 2008, 14:29 PM   #6
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I completely agree with Anita people can get so wrapped up in it they forget its your baby!

I think you should just put your foot down and say categorically that the hospital will not let anyone else be there or in the waiting area at all. Also make the point of when baby is born Jay will call them to let them know and then if you both want them to visit thereafter you can decide or if you are both tired and just want time on your own they will have to learn to respect that.

I have the opposite my mil texts and phones all the time! can be quite suffocating at times as she needs to know everything or wants to be the one that knows everything first.

I think we will decide to let grandparents and sisters and brothers come during visiting hours when we are ready but certainly not waiting outside whilst I am pushing no thank you!!

good luck xxxx
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