I would let me MIL look after my lo at my house only. My MIL has to come up the M1 to mine and the thought of her being on the motorway with my lo in the car scarys me. I will not let her have her over night at all as she cannot cope with the 4 grandkids she has got now over night.

With my mum well it is a lot different, My mum as a drink problem so I will never leave my lo with my mum at all without me or husband being there.

My dad I trust but he as not been round kids for a very long time so I will have to make sure he is alright but will not let lo sleep over.

I can totally understand why you wouldn't want your inlaws taking your child overnight! I wouldn't either.

I don't have inlaws or parents, but if I did I wouldn't have a problem with them watching my baby, provided he was older, like maybe a year or something.

My kids' grandparents used to watch my boys quite regularly, no harm done.

If your MIL have behaved badly towards you and hubby and she has bad habits it's understandable that you'd be nervous about leaving the baby with her.

In my case my MIL has been great and always wants to help but I have those little doubts too. I'd feel much more confident about leaving her in my own mums care. My MIL hasn't really helped herself gain brownie points in any way though - she told me she used to dip hubbys dummy in brandy to make him sleep and that she's going to feed my baby lamb and beef once she's been weaned - foods I don't eat

I wouldn't mind my mother in law having her she is wonderful and respectful. But I don't feel comfortable leaving her with my father in law as I do not think he or his wife would respect our parenting choices at all! And to be honest even while I think my parents would never do anything to intentially harm her physically I do remember some of the things I heard when I was little (mostly my dad's views on life) and I don't feel comfortable with her being subjected to that. And my mom will forever think she knows better and would do something like feed her baby food before she was ready because she assumes that when they cry every 2 hours they are not getting fed enough thru milk (why she put me on baby rice with sugar at 2 months old)

I would happily let me in laws have unsupervised visits and have LO overnight when he / she is old enough. I would trust them with LO more than I'd trust my parents, but thats only because MIL works for a charity where she helps people with young babies, and she's been incredibly supportive and enthusiatic since we announced our news. My parents on the other hand haven't been near a baby since I was born, and are taking a very "hands off" approach to the whole thing!

In your case, K, I would not want my in laws having the baby either... they sound awful.

My in laws are very overbearing and have been saying things all along such as 'this will be the daughter we never had', 'she'll have a better relationship with us than she will with you, that's how it works'. They have weird ways and their house is not clean - not in a kim and aggie type way but they don't have 'modern' cleaning habbits; they are quite old fashioned, hoard loads of things like Radio Times from the 1970s and they have about 5 sofas but only have a smallish farmhouse! They have a dog but only hoover the floor, not mop it! They are also 68 and 71, have odd ideas (she milked one of her cows to feed my husband as a baby because she said he wouldn't take her milk!! He now has attrocious eczema... maybe coincidence but doubt it!).

I'd not feel comfortable with them taking her on their own, but I think my husband realises the issues for himself as well. They seem to assume I will return to work and leave her with them every day. Not happening. They are welcome here but I will be telling them when visiting hours are over because they have a knack of overstaying their welcome by several hours and when I've got a new baby, I don't want to be entertaining them, having them hogging my baby and practically licking her face!

So I'm approaching it with caution. I will be ensuring that they are aware from the start that she is our baby and just because I was closer to my grandparents (because my parents split and they lived with us) and husband was closer to his gran (because she lived with them and his mum just let it happen that way), it's not happening with us, we will NEVER move in with them like they keep hinting and we will not be going there every day of the week like she expects her son to at the age of 35!

Phew, that turned into a rant. LOL.

I am very lucky and have no problem whatsoever with my MIL looking after my little one. I lost my mum nearly 6 years ago, so I think I would have to wait until my Pip was a bit older for Dad to look after him/her, but still would have no problem with that.

Each to their own, but while I won't be leaving bubs overnight when he or she is a tiny newborn, I think once they get to four months old plus and/or they are sleeping well during the night, I will be okay with it. It wouldn't be something I would do a lot, but I think a night on the very odd occasion would be good for everyone - me and hubby, grandparents and baby. Obviously, this is only an option for those who have people around them they trust completely. I am lucky in that respect.

Well, I won't be leaving my baby with anyone for a long period of time anyway as I'll be breastfeeding and so it's not practical to do so, and I've never had much luck pumping milk in the past either and wouldn't do so for an entire night away from home anyway, so it's just not an option for me. That suits me just fine too as I'd rather be with my baby anyway, so it's win-win for me.

In your circumstances, I'd absolutely agree about no unsupervised visitations, particularly regarding the tying up to the bed thing and the religious zeal. Both of those are big fat no go's for me, so I can totally understand why you'd feel that way!

My son is two and has never spent a night away from us yet. Since he was about 18 months old I would be perfectly happy for my parents to have him overnight if necessary, as they see him regularly and I trust them completely. My in-laws only see him occasionally, so he doesn't really know them that well. I think they'd probably do things differently and I wouldn't necessarily agree with everything, but I do trust that if they ever needed to look after him overnight that they would treat him very well and safely.

this is where im thankfull that dh's mum and dad and stepmum are all out of the country, as they all have very different ideas on parenting than we do lol MIL has a spoilt nearly 13yr daughter, and FIL and S-MIL have a spoilt 6-7yrold son , at one point we were going to end up with MIL and her daughter here possibly to look after DS but im very happy its not happening as i know she would do things "her way" thinking she knows best which she definatly doesnt, and the last thing i need with a newborn is a stroppy toddler whos been used to getting his own way while ive been having the baby,

my own parents on the other hand i would have happily let have DS from a few months old overnight to give us a break as i know my Mum would respect how i raise DS and would caer for him in the same way i would as we have a very similar parenting method to my parents, and we did let his Godmother ( who was living with us ) take him out alone and have him overnight without us there from about 7 months old, if my parents were nearby ( they are in australia ) then as soon as this LO isnt requiring a late night feed and will go from a reasonable time (7-8pm) till morning then id happily let my parents look after both kids