Childbirth is as easy as falling off a log - Page 4

saturn73 · Mar 8th, 2010, 16:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASMAK

Quote:

Originally Posted by saturn73

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASMAK

Quote:

Originally Posted by madasa

Quote:

Originally Posted by saturn73

but more like I sort of left it up to my body and rested in knowing that I would instinctively know what to do.

Exactly! Agree 100%. You are a wiser lady than me... I didn't have that confidence in myself and my body, and I don't think I am unusual either. Lots of ladies are scared of birth.... but knowing this stuff can alleviate that fear and give you confidence.

It's so important that all our choices are informed ones, and that can't happen if you're ignorant. Sometimes it means saying "no" to a midwife or consultant.... So many women are hussled into a choice they would rather not make, due to a blanket policy. You see it ALL. THE. TIME. "they won't let me..." "I have to do X because..." No. There IS no "allow" or "have to". It's called bodily autonomy: NO ONE owns your body, except YOU - not even a doctor or midwife!

Wow, I always thought since the UK had midwives, that the birthing experiences would be better. I must say, that although I myself, had sections, I never felt like I never had a choice or options. I was always given all the facts, and risks to both options, and I made the final decisions in the end...and never once felt pressured. No one is ever shoving their expectations down my throat, and we have a "family-centered" maternity ward where family, friends and siblings are welcome. They are private rooms with bathtubs. I watched my sister and best friend give birth in the same hospital, and never once did I see anyone try to make them do anything unless the mother asked, including pain meds. The hospital wants your "birth plan" and try to follow it. My OB/GYN is very relaxed and unintrusive. I guess things are very different depending on where you live. I sure hope that those of you who have felt "forced" have a smoother process this time.

The midwife thing doesn't mean much. They're also the norm here, and as such, are pretty much just like a regular doctor back home.

Everything here in Europe is tougher IMO, even giving birth. People don't purposely try to be more pushy or judgemental, they just are.

We definitely do get "babied" in Canada (had my first two there). It was heavenly, if you can describe it that way!

Well, that's good to know that we have it good here. I honestly just always thought that the UK had miwives and were therefore, so much more advanced. But, then the more I hear about "horror births" over there, the more confused I got about it. LOL! It is good to hear from someone who is Canadian living over there. I guess you probably wish you were back here then??? I wish you all the luck, and I hope it goes well for you.

Oh, just edited to add to your "babied" comment. It reminded me of this nurse on my ward. I was itchy from some of the meds from my section, so she got me a bottle of lotion. Expecting to put it on myself, I went to grab it, and she said, "no no, you just gave birth...lay down" and she proceeded to not only put lotion on me, but massage my legs and back with it aswell. It was so nice and way beyond what she ever would have been expected to do.

Stop! I'm getting jealous now!

My last son was the only baby I've had here, and I was pretty weak after I had him. I had lost a lot of blood and suddenly got a fever in the middle of the night. I was shaking a lot so decided to push the nurse button, and let me tell you, you'd think it was the end of the world! She begrudgingly took my temperature and then just blew me off like it was nothing! I must have interrupted her soap or something.

I'll never forget the labour I had with my second son. The nurse was amazing - she massaged my back and legs the whole time and was telling me toward the end I'd better have him before her shift ended or she'd be upset! It's people like that that just go above and beyond the call of duty, that you have so much respect for. This was BC Women's in Vancouver!

JASMAK · Mar 8th, 2010, 16:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saturn73

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASMAK

Quote:

Originally Posted by saturn73

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASMAK

Quote:

Originally Posted by madasa

Quote:

Originally Posted by saturn73

but more like I sort of left it up to my body and rested in knowing that I would instinctively know what to do.

Exactly! Agree 100%. You are a wiser lady than me... I didn't have that confidence in myself and my body, and I don't think I am unusual either. Lots of ladies are scared of birth.... but knowing this stuff can alleviate that fear and give you confidence.

It's so important that all our choices are informed ones, and that can't happen if you're ignorant. Sometimes it means saying "no" to a midwife or consultant.... So many women are hussled into a choice they would rather not make, due to a blanket policy. You see it ALL. THE. TIME. "they won't let me..." "I have to do X because..." No. There IS no "allow" or "have to". It's called bodily autonomy: NO ONE owns your body, except YOU - not even a doctor or midwife!

Wow, I always thought since the UK had midwives, that the birthing experiences would be better. I must say, that although I myself, had sections, I never felt like I never had a choice or options. I was always given all the facts, and risks to both options, and I made the final decisions in the end...and never once felt pressured. No one is ever shoving their expectations down my throat, and we have a "family-centered" maternity ward where family, friends and siblings are welcome. They are private rooms with bathtubs. I watched my sister and best friend give birth in the same hospital, and never once did I see anyone try to make them do anything unless the mother asked, including pain meds. The hospital wants your "birth plan" and try to follow it. My OB/GYN is very relaxed and unintrusive. I guess things are very different depending on where you live. I sure hope that those of you who have felt "forced" have a smoother process this time.

The midwife thing doesn't mean much. They're also the norm here, and as such, are pretty much just like a regular doctor back home.

Everything here in Europe is tougher IMO, even giving birth. People don't purposely try to be more pushy or judgemental, they just are.

We definitely do get "babied" in Canada (had my first two there). It was heavenly, if you can describe it that way!

Well, that's good to know that we have it good here. I honestly just always thought that the UK had miwives and were therefore, so much more advanced. But, then the more I hear about "horror births" over there, the more confused I got about it. LOL! It is good to hear from someone who is Canadian living over there. I guess you probably wish you were back here then??? I wish you all the luck, and I hope it goes well for you.

Oh, just edited to add to your "babied" comment. It reminded me of this nurse on my ward. I was itchy from some of the meds from my section, so she got me a bottle of lotion. Expecting to put it on myself, I went to grab it, and she said, "no no, you just gave birth...lay down" and she proceeded to not only put lotion on me, but massage my legs and back with it aswell. It was so nice and way beyond what she ever would have been expected to do.

Stop! I'm getting jealous now!

My last son was the only baby I've had here, and I was pretty weak after I had him. I had lost a lot of blood and suddenly got a fever in the middle of the night. I was shaking a lot so decided to push the nurse button, and let me tell you, you'd think it was the end of the world! She begrudgingly took my temperature and then just blew me off like it was nothing! I must have interrupted her soap or something.

I'll never forget the labour I had with my second son. The nurse was amazing - she massaged my back and legs the whole time and was telling me toward the end I'd better have him before her shift ended or she'd be upset! It's people like that that just go above and beyond the call of duty, that you have so much respect for. This was BC Women's in Vancouver!

Women's is great! OMG I cannot believe the nurse with your last son!!! How horrible! Does she know that is her JOB. Sickening! What brings you to the UK?

saturn73 · Mar 8th, 2010, 16:34 PM

I know. She was a meanie! I'm not in the UK actually, just Europe! ;-) My DH's from here.

Tashry · Mar 9th, 2010, 21:15 PM

Quote:

Last time I had MIL there, and she is such a worrier... so that didn't help. Even now she'll say things like "ooo you had such a hard time..." and I don't want to hear that.

My birth plan is as much for my dh and whoever else is there, as for the medical types. I've put down that I want minimal interventions/exams, the noise and light kept to a bare minimum, no talking/talking in low voices, and no negative words like "pain", "hurting", "hard work". All that is going to do is burst my positive bubble and make me frightened and tense.

Well said! The last thing I want to hear is how difficult this is or why things are going badly. I'm thinking this time it will just by hubby and I since my mom will be looking after our son, but no matter who ends up in the room I want it quiet. My mom and hubby still joke about how last time I ended up screaming at them..."JUST SHUT UP!" That is so not like me, I usually keep a very mild manner and I never yell. I just couldn't stand all the chatting and I didn't like them talking about me like I wasn't right there. Honestly I think I would probably be better off alone, but just in case I want my hubby with me to help me move when I want to get up or roll over, that sort of thing.
Good luck! I hope it all works out for you the way you are planning.

JASMAK · Mar 9th, 2010, 22:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tashry

Quote:

Last time I had MIL there, and she is such a worrier... so that didn't help. Even now she'll say things like "ooo you had such a hard time..." and I don't want to hear that.

My birth plan is as much for my dh and whoever else is there, as for the medical types. I've put down that I want minimal interventions/exams, the noise and light kept to a bare minimum, no talking/talking in low voices, and no negative words like "pain", "hurting", "hard work". All that is going to do is burst my positive bubble and make me frightened and tense.

Well said! The last thing I want to hear is how difficult this is or why things are going badly. I'm thinking this time it will just by hubby and I since my mom will be looking after our son, but no matter who ends up in the room I want it quiet. My mom and hubby still joke about how last time I ended up screaming at them..."JUST SHUT UP!" That is so not like me, I usually keep a very mild manner and I never yell. I just couldn't stand all the chatting and I didn't like them talking about me like I wasn't right there. Honestly I think I would probably be better off alone, but just in case I want my hubby with me to help me move when I want to get up or roll over, that sort of thing.
Good luck! I hope it all works out for you the way you are planning.

Sorry to butt in, but this reminded me of when my sister gave birth, and my mom and I were my sister's birthing attendants (my sister was single at the time). I know it isn't exactly the same, because you both are talking about positive comments, but, this is about choosing your attendents wisely!!! My mom kept making really really annoying remarks! She said things like "does that chair feel good?" "are you comfortable now?" My sister finally had it, and she screamed "shut up, shut up", then she screamed to me "just make mom shut the hell up!" The nurse came in and told my mom that we don't use the words "comfortable, feeling good" during a labour that is without an epidural. Needless to say, mom wasn't invited to anymore of my sister's births (2 more) nor any of mine! LOL!

IvyBaby · Mar 10th, 2010, 04:32 AM

Odent writes about women going to a different planet during childbirth and that this process should not be disturbed as it helps to manage the pain and get in touch with our basic instincts. To be honest, I don't want too many people around either (like in yesterday's program 'One born every minute'- there were at least 4 people in one of the girl's rooms)... it just seems so disturbing and aparently can greatly prolong the process. My mom would also want to be there, but she would probably drive me crazy with her well-meaning comments and emotions...

My bf already promised me that he is going to cry when the baby is born lol... that's fine, as long as he does not cry during the process!!

Tashry · Mar 10th, 2010, 22:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASMAK

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tashry

Quote:

Last time I had MIL there, and she is such a worrier... so that didn't help. Even now she'll say things like "ooo you had such a hard time..." and I don't want to hear that.

My birth plan is as much for my dh and whoever else is there, as for the medical types. I've put down that I want minimal interventions/exams, the noise and light kept to a bare minimum, no talking/talking in low voices, and no negative words like "pain", "hurting", "hard work". All that is going to do is burst my positive bubble and make me frightened and tense.

Well said! The last thing I want to hear is how difficult this is or why things are going badly. I'm thinking this time it will just by hubby and I since my mom will be looking after our son, but no matter who ends up in the room I want it quiet. My mom and hubby still joke about how last time I ended up screaming at them..."JUST SHUT UP!" That is so not like me, I usually keep a very mild manner and I never yell. I just couldn't stand all the chatting and I didn't like them talking about me like I wasn't right there. Honestly I think I would probably be better off alone, but just in case I want my hubby with me to help me move when I want to get up or roll over, that sort of thing.
Good luck! I hope it all works out for you the way you are planning.

Sorry to butt in, but this reminded me of when my sister gave birth, and my mom and I were my sister's birthing attendants (my sister was single at the time). I know it isn't exactly the same, because you both are talking about positive comments, but, this is about choosing your attendents wisely!!! My mom kept making really really annoying remarks! She said things like "does that chair feel good?" "are you comfortable now?" My sister finally had it, and she screamed "shut up, shut up", then she screamed to me "just make mom shut the hell up!" The nurse came in and told my mom that we don't use the words "comfortable, feeling good" during a labour that is without an epidural. Needless to say, mom wasn't invited to anymore of my sister's births (2 more) nor any of mine! LOL!

Yikes! LOL! Well I can't say that my mom nor my hubby were really doing anything too terrible, it's just that at the time I wanted to be left the heck alone! Even just hearing them talk to each other about anything, no matter how insignificant or unrelated to me, drove me up the wall! The lesson learned was that I obviously don't want any chatter while I am pushing out a 10 pound baby. LOL! And as much as I love my mom, and I really don't hold any grudges at all, I want just my hubby and I around this time. And he has been warned to bring a book because I honestly think I will do better just listening to my iPod and moving around as my body needs.

Mar 8th, 2010, 16:34 PM	#33
saturn73 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,102	I know. She was a meanie! I'm not in the UK actually, just Europe! ;-) My DH's from here.

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Mar 10th, 2010, 04:32 AM	#36
IvyBaby Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: London, SW11 Posts: 2,109	Odent writes about women going to a different planet during childbirth and that this process should not be disturbed as it helps to manage the pain and get in touch with our basic instincts. To be honest, I don't want too many people around either (like in yesterday's program 'One born every minute'- there were at least 4 people in one of the girl's rooms)... it just seems so disturbing and aparently can greatly prolong the process. My mom would also want to be there, but she would probably drive me crazy with her well-meaning comments and emotions... My bf already promised me that he is going to cry when the baby is born lol... that's fine, as long as he does not cry during the process!!

Status: Offline

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