Hi girls,
Ok so I'm 34 weeks pregnant now and not due to start my mat leave for another 4 weeks because I only get 8 weeks full pay before having to rely on SMP. I've been off poorly the last two as I've had a very complicated pregnancy and then my dad left my mum, after an affair, left her in France in a really sh@t situation blah blah blah. For the last 3 weeks( since he left) she's losing the plot, she's hit the bottle big time (she had a bit of a drink problem anyway) and rings me every day wailing etc which I'm finding really stressful as I can't get out to her and she can't get back as she has 32 animals to care for. Anyway........ I'm also suffering with SPD so am in agony and can't sleep so am bloody exhausted (I know we all are!!). My amniotic fluid levels are low and have been advised to rest as much as I can.
I'm back at work now and just finding all a bit too much. I have a very demanding job. I KNOW my baby will be here on the 9 April as my section is booked and I have 5 days hol left. The problem is that my OH doesn't have a job ad he was laid off and just can't seem to get anything (we live so rural so not a lot out there) so rely on just my income.
Saying that, I've cleared a lot of bills, got rid of the car and we have bought everything for baby.
I just feel that as much as financially I neeeeed to work for as long as I can before I'm due I also feel I need to chill and look after me and Charlie bump rather than working 45 hrs a week and dealing with my mum while 8 months pregnant.
Guess I just wanted some input/advice from you ladies as we are all dealing with various things and I always get brill advice on here.
Do you think it's reasonable to go off work early? Or am I just feeling sorry for myself and being a drama queen? I know money will be tight but Im not gonna starve am I!!
Thanks girls x

Hi hun,

Poor you. Sounds like you are having such a hard time. I'm finding pregnancy hard going and I have none of the stresses that you have - other than the stressful job, which I planned to stay at till 38+1 but I am so knackered now that I am leaving next Friday at 36+1. So I think it is totally reasonable for you to finish work early - I think it is probably important that you do as you sound so stressed that I bet your BP will start creaping up if you continue at work.

On the money side of things, it sounds like you have planned really well with getting your bills sorted etc. Is there any way that you could get signed off sick for a week or two before you start your mat leave? It depends on what your companies policy is, but I know with my job that would mean you would have full pay at least until 36 weeks, when they would start your mat leave automatically? Not sure if this is an option for you though, but it's worth finding out!

But either way, I really think finishing early is a good idea. A section is a big operation and you need to be well rested before hand so you can make a quicker recovery.



xxxx

You don't mention how much time youre taking off after the birth other than the 8 weeks but if you are taking longer and surviving on SMP than can you take the holiday you would incur before you leave? Thats what I'm doing, I'm taking 5 weeks holiday as of the 24th March because I intend to be away until at least Christmas and I don't want to take it on the other side. I too have a very demanding job and my work would just keep pushing and pushing me until I drop.

I hope you get the time off you need.

Hi

Maybe there's a compromise in here somewhere? Could you could have a word with your work to see if they can reduce the stress on you in the last few weeks that you have? Given the choice of having you leave early, or having you stay in a less stressful role for a few weeks they might go for it. I've had to do this with my work, although you have to be a bit careful, as my boss just seems to pay lipservice to it and then try to pile the pressure back on!! If they can't then definitely look at starting you mat leave early. It sounds like you have far too much stress and pressure in your life right now, and anything you can do to reduce it has to be a good thing.

Good luck xx

I agree hon, I think starting your mat leave early is the right think to do. I am knackered and fed up at work, and I dont have the stresses that you have, so I know exactly how you must feel!!

In regards to what Kristen said about getting signed off sick, I think you'll be able to do it - and then I think at 36 weeks they can force you to start mat leave, which you are doing anyway so it dont matter?

Or, is there hols that you will accrue when you are off that they will let you take early?
x

It sounds like your having to deal with a lot of stress at the moment and all that on top of a 45 hour week! I was trying to work to 37 weeks but ended up leaving a week early as I was just so tired, I think you have to do what is right for the health of you and your baby.

With regards to being sick, I think if you went to see a doctor and explained the situation he might give you a sick note for stress. You just have to be careful that your company don't have a policy whereby they automatically start your maternity leave early if you have a certain amount of time off for a pregnancy related illness, although I'm not sure whether that would be classed as pregnancy related?? My company has a policy that says if we have a day off sick within 4 weeks of the date on which maternity leave is due to begin then it will start from that day (if its pregnancy related).

You obviously feel that you could cope financially and 5 Apil is only just over 4 weeks away, I'd get some rest in before bubs comes along.

Its sounds like u are stressed to the max to me and I kno woman always put everyone else first and worry about everything but this one time u need to put ur self 1st and make sure u r healthy and ur body is well relaxed and the perfect resting place for ur little one. as u hav a c section booked u know exactly when ur baby will be born and i have read that its the law if u take sick leave the work can automatically start ur mat leave 4 weeks before ur due date which im pretty sure u said was when u were taking mat leave from. So i would go to my doc and get the extra weeks off on the sick as u are entitled to at least 6 weeks sick leave on full pay, this would tide u over on the money situation and also give u the correct amount of time to de stress and hopefully be there to help ur mum through, at the end of the day family and u are more important than any job.

work to live dont live to work

good luck and i hope everything works out for u and ur mum, times a healer she will pull through u seem strong for her

luv Carly xxx