It's me again! another FOB rant! - Page 2

MrsGlitz · Feb 28th, 2010, 10:38 AM

I still think you should name him on the birth certificate for your baby's sake, he has a right to know who his father is, in the event that something happened to you. If you register the birth alone, just naming him does not give the FOB automatic parental rights.

As others said, to gain full custody he would have to prove that you are an unfit mother. If you are not happy for Alfie and his dad to spend time alone together then a court can arrange visitation in a contact centre. Until such a hearing, there isn't really a lot the FOB can do! I don't know if I missed something but I don't know why you aren't happy for him to have his son? Is he violent or something?

sophieee18 · Feb 28th, 2010, 10:44 AM

Thank you so much for all your comments ladies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsGlitz

I still think you should name him on the birth certificate for your baby's sake, he has a right to know who his father is, in the event that something happened to you. If you register the birth alone, just naming him does not give the FOB automatic parental rights.

As others said, to gain full custody he would have to prove that you are an unfit mother. If you are not happy for Alfie and his dad to spend time alone together then a court can arrange visitation in a contact centre. Until such a hearing, there isn't really a lot the FOB can do! I don't know if I missed something but I don't know why you aren't happy for him to have his son? Is he violent or something?

Just on the phone the other night he said he would 'take the baby off me' i presume this would be by me letting him have Alfie for the day and basically not returning.

Im just scared.

He isn't violent, he never has been to me. But the way he was talking to me really put another image in my mind. I think he is capeable of doing something like that. He was shouting at me, and calling me names. It upset me so much.

I really don't think I can trust him.

X

JessiHD · Feb 28th, 2010, 10:44 AM

If you're not married the father has no right to name the baby, if you are married then you both have to agree on a name. He will not be allowed to take your baby, especially from the hospital as security will be really tight. Please don't get so wound up about this, he can't take your baby away from you. If you have concerns about this you can arrange to have court ordered supervised visits but I'd recommend going to mediation before going to court.

To be honest, he's just being an immature prick!

MandaAnda · Feb 28th, 2010, 10:48 AM

Exactly. He can't do anything, hun. And I certainly wouldn't let him have any visitation with the baby that doesn't include you and someone else that you trust around. Emotional abuse is still abuse (I've been there and then some), and him threatening and trying to manipulate you is just that.

EmmaDueInFeb · Feb 28th, 2010, 10:56 AM

He sounds like a bit of an idiot...If you name him on the birth certificate, he has to be there as ur not married....so if you think he'll kick up a stink, maybe best to leave him off. Even report him to the police just now, they'll probably go round and have a quiet word to him, as this is not on.

As others have said, he has no parental rights, and would have to show you to be the worst mother going to take ur baby away. If he failed to return your baby after a visit, you just phone the police as thats kidnapping, is he really that stupid???

JessiHD · Feb 28th, 2010, 10:57 AM

What's your relationship with his family like? If you can, I'd aim to keep relationships with thm as good as possible.

sophieee18 · Feb 28th, 2010, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessiHD

What's your relationship with his family like? If you can, I'd aim to keep relationships with thm as good as possible.

When he first said he didn't want anything to do with the baby, I text his mum saying that I would never stop her seeing her grandchild. She never got back to me! I haven't spoken to her since we broke up and she hasn't tried to get in contact with me either.
I spoke to his younger sister, she is only 13 and she said that tom (FOB) had told her not to speak to me.
He doesn't talk to anyone else in his family!

X

JessiHD · Feb 28th, 2010, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sophieee18

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessiHD

What's your relationship with his family like? If you can, I'd aim to keep relationships with thm as good as possible.

When he first said he didn't want anything to do with the baby, I text his mum saying that I would never stop her seeing her grandchild. She never got back to me! I haven't spoken to her since we broke up and she hasn't tried to get in contact with me either.
I spoke to his younger sister, she is only 13 and she said that tom (FOB) had told her not to speak to me.
He doesn't talk to anyone else in his family!

X

Well if his mum won't keep the channels of communication open that is very foolish of her! x

AimeeM · Feb 28th, 2010, 11:39 AM

If you do not register him on the birth certificate you will have full parental rights and he will have none. Take it from me as i have been in the same position and it gets very messy and upsetting, leave him off the birth cert for yours and your child's own good. Let him see your son if he wants to but you will have sole responsibility for any important decisions.

JessiHD · Feb 28th, 2010, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AimeeM

If you do not register him on the birth certificate you will have full parental rights and he will have none. Take it from me as i have been in the same position and it gets very messy and upsetting, leave him off the birth cert for yours and your child's own good. Let him see your son if he wants to but you will have sole responsibility for any important decisions.

Is that true in the UK? I thought it had changed?

Feb 28th, 2010, 10:38 AM	#11
MrsGlitz Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bournemouth, Dorset Posts: 3,150	I still think you should name him on the birth certificate for your baby's sake, he has a right to know who his father is, in the event that something happened to you. If you register the birth alone, just naming him does not give the FOB automatic parental rights. As others said, to gain full custody he would have to prove that you are an unfit mother. If you are not happy for Alfie and his dad to spend time alone together then a court can arrange visitation in a contact centre. Until such a hearing, there isn't really a lot the FOB can do! I don't know if I missed something but I don't know why you aren't happy for him to have his son? Is he violent or something?

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 10:44 AM	#13
JessiHD Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Birmingham, West Midlands Posts: 1,201	If you're not married the father has no right to name the baby, if you are married then you both have to agree on a name. He will not be allowed to take your baby, especially from the hospital as security will be really tight. Please don't get so wound up about this, he can't take your baby away from you. If you have concerns about this you can arrange to have court ordered supervised visits but I'd recommend going to mediation before going to court. To be honest, he's just being an immature prick!

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 10:48 AM	#14
MandaAnda Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Coastal Kent Posts: 1,656	Exactly. He can't do anything, hun. And I certainly wouldn't let him have any visitation with the baby that doesn't include you and someone else that you trust around. Emotional abuse is still abuse (I've been there and then some), and him threatening and trying to manipulate you is just that.

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 10:56 AM	#15
EmmaDueInFeb Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 947	He sounds like a bit of an idiot...If you name him on the birth certificate, he has to be there as ur not married....so if you think he'll kick up a stink, maybe best to leave him off. Even report him to the police just now, they'll probably go round and have a quiet word to him, as this is not on. As others have said, he has no parental rights, and would have to show you to be the worst mother going to take ur baby away. If he failed to return your baby after a visit, you just phone the police as thats kidnapping, is he really that stupid???

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 10:57 AM	#16
JessiHD Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Birmingham, West Midlands Posts: 1,201	What's your relationship with his family like? If you can, I'd aim to keep relationships with thm as good as possible.

Status: Offline

Feb 28th, 2010, 11:39 AM	#19
AimeeM Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 6,586	If you do not register him on the birth certificate you will have full parental rights and he will have none. Take it from me as i have been in the same position and it gets very messy and upsetting, leave him off the birth cert for yours and your child's own good. Let him see your son if he wants to but you will have sole responsibility for any important decisions.

Status: Offline

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