Am i being out of order to dh family? - Page 2

jackie.d · Jan 15th, 2010, 05:25 AM

thanks ladies xxxx

2bananas · Jan 15th, 2010, 05:32 AM

You sound perfectly reasonable to me!

It ws a circus at my house for a few days after i got home and also while i was in hospital with my dd. Oh has been warned that its up to him to stand by my wishes and stop people causing me hassle when i dont need it.

I'll decide when visitors come, not them telling me! So much so I may not let them come to hospital to visit and wait til im home a few days before people come round. I got severe pnd after my daughter and believe the rush of people and everyone telling you 'their advice' when the baby is hours old, is just not what you need!

Peace and quiet is what you need. so you do what you want!! x

EmmaDueInFeb · Jan 15th, 2010, 05:38 AM

I think you are a hero, cos I would have punted their buts out the front door !!! As this is my second, I want the first few days to be just me, my oh, my daughter & our new one...the most important person to me is that my daughter gets to know her little sister, and feels secure before the wishes of anyone wanting to see the baby...so if anyone should be feeling bad, ur oh's family should, and maybe even ur oh for not turning them round at the door.....

amazed · Jan 15th, 2010, 05:49 AM

Everyone come round after i had my last baby aswell but i have to be honest it didnt bother me to much BUT i made hubby wait on tem hand and foot!

lou_lou1979 · Jan 15th, 2010, 05:52 AM

I think you are being totally reasonable and they are being totally selfish. You are quite right to expect a couple of days with your LO before people come to visit - especially if those people just sit there and expect you to bring them cups of tea etc which I think is outrageous. Let them get their own cups of tea - in fact they should be making YOU a cup of tea after what you will have been through.

My mum and dad have said that they will ask my OH when it will be ok to visit and then they arent going to smother us - they will pop round for an hour or so and then bugger off for a while and get out of our hair. Plus its likley they will make us tea and help out. Sadly my OH mum is EXACTLY the same as yours so i know exactly how you feel

Sending you hugs

xx

graciebaby · Jan 15th, 2010, 06:15 AM

No i don't think your be unreasonable at all! I would be the same! When i had my first i told my OH that none of his family where to visit when i was in hospital. Only my mum came as she was my birthing partner too. I let my MIL see the baby the day after she was born as we just nipped her house on the way home and stayed for about 30 mins then went straight home. They didn't come again until i invited them!

This time i'l be the same!

tinky2010 · Jan 15th, 2010, 06:17 AM

i think you are being totally fair hunni spesh after a c section that takes it out of you . sorry to hear they were no help that is so wrong !!

QTPie · Jan 15th, 2010, 06:36 AM

I am so sorry for your loss

No, not at all...

To be completely honest, non-invited visitors will get VERY short-shift from me...

Any visitors will be expected to pull their weight - make their own drinks and probably something for me, treat the house with respect and probably not stay more than an hour (I will be tired, baby will be tired, baby will need to feed and wont want to be over-stimulated).

Get your DH on-side and stick together on this.

QT

KarenLV · Jan 15th, 2010, 06:37 AM

You are right. Dont feel bad. They were very inconsiderate. I would of done the exact same....except I wouldnt offer tea and coffee just so that they can go away faster!

abbysbaby · Jan 15th, 2010, 06:42 AM

i wudo of went mental while they where there. that woudl piss me off sooo much, ive given strict orders, no one will be coming round for the first week, i cud not handle that.

Jan 15th, 2010, 05:25 AM	#11
jackie.d Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: scotland Posts: 1,520	thanks ladies xxxx

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Jan 15th, 2010, 05:32 AM	#12
2bananas Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: England Posts: 1,624	You sound perfectly reasonable to me! It ws a circus at my house for a few days after i got home and also while i was in hospital with my dd. Oh has been warned that its up to him to stand by my wishes and stop people causing me hassle when i dont need it. I'll decide when visitors come, not them telling me! So much so I may not let them come to hospital to visit and wait til im home a few days before people come round. I got severe pnd after my daughter and believe the rush of people and everyone telling you 'their advice' when the baby is hours old, is just not what you need! Peace and quiet is what you need. so you do what you want!! x

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Jan 15th, 2010, 05:38 AM	#13
EmmaDueInFeb Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 947	I think you are a hero, cos I would have punted their buts out the front door !!! As this is my second, I want the first few days to be just me, my oh, my daughter & our new one...the most important person to me is that my daughter gets to know her little sister, and feels secure before the wishes of anyone wanting to see the baby...so if anyone should be feeling bad, ur oh's family should, and maybe even ur oh for not turning them round at the door.....

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Jan 15th, 2010, 05:49 AM	#14
amazed Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Warwickshire,uk Posts: 5,378	Everyone come round after i had my last baby aswell but i have to be honest it didnt bother me to much BUT i made hubby wait on tem hand and foot!

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Jan 15th, 2010, 05:52 AM	#15
lou_lou1979 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: nottinghamshire Posts: 391	I think you are being totally reasonable and they are being totally selfish. You are quite right to expect a couple of days with your LO before people come to visit - especially if those people just sit there and expect you to bring them cups of tea etc which I think is outrageous. Let them get their own cups of tea - in fact they should be making YOU a cup of tea after what you will have been through. My mum and dad have said that they will ask my OH when it will be ok to visit and then they arent going to smother us - they will pop round for an hour or so and then bugger off for a while and get out of our hair. Plus its likley they will make us tea and help out. Sadly my OH mum is EXACTLY the same as yours so i know exactly how you feel Sending you hugs xx

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Jan 15th, 2010, 06:15 AM	#16
graciebaby Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 876	No i don't think your be unreasonable at all! I would be the same! When i had my first i told my OH that none of his family where to visit when i was in hospital. Only my mum came as she was my birthing partner too. I let my MIL see the baby the day after she was born as we just nipped her house on the way home and stayed for about 30 mins then went straight home. They didn't come again until i invited them! This time i'l be the same!

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Jan 15th, 2010, 06:17 AM	#17
tinky2010 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: somerset Posts: 24	i think you are being totally fair hunni spesh after a c section that takes it out of you . sorry to hear they were no help that is so wrong !!

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Jan 15th, 2010, 06:36 AM	#18
QTPie Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 4,465	I am so sorry for your loss No, not at all... To be completely honest, non-invited visitors will get VERY short-shift from me... Any visitors will be expected to pull their weight - make their own drinks and probably something for me, treat the house with respect and probably not stay more than an hour (I will be tired, baby will be tired, baby will need to feed and wont want to be over-stimulated). Get your DH on-side and stick together on this. QT

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Jan 15th, 2010, 06:37 AM	#19
KarenLV Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,528	You are right. Dont feel bad. They were very inconsiderate. I would of done the exact same....except I wouldnt offer tea and coffee just so that they can go away faster!

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Jan 15th, 2010, 06:42 AM	#20
abbysbaby Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: uk Posts: 853	i wudo of went mental while they where there. that woudl piss me off sooo much, ive given strict orders, no one will be coming round for the first week, i cud not handle that.

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