Samantha675

First off, you are obviously not just a stepmom. You are taking great care of those boys.

Second, it sounds like you have 3 instead of two, and it is time for one of them to grow up. I also agree that actions speak louder than words. If you can, get 2 days off work, head off on the Thursday and come back Sunday. Go stay with a friend, or a family if you can. That way, he HAS to do everything, and see how much hard work it is. Don't ask him about this, just do it. It will wake him up!

TashaAndBump

It sounds like your OH is slightly delluded about how things really are. A break may be what it takes for him to realise how much you actually do, and how much he needs you... Threatening a break won't do any good because from the way it comes across he has no idea as to the amount of work you do and how stuffed he (and his training regime) would be if you weren't there to do everything!! I reccomend taking a small break on the mainland, and then returning and having a serious discussion about how things will be in the future. If he can't change, then something else will have to...

amy_tea

aww hun

I'm sorry that your OH isnt more supportive towards you. Maybe you should go see your mum for a while and let him see just how much you do. If nothing changes then maybe its time to build a better life for you and your baby?

Take care of yourself hun, you deserve better

xxx

sonny

Its a bit of a vicious circle here though.......if i go for a few days like the weekend he will have a great time just playing playstation inside with the kids and nothing will get done how i like it,it will just be left till i get home cos most of the stuff i do he doesnt "see" that it needs doing like getting uniforms ready ironed for the week etc.
Also if i go away for a few weekdays he will get his "mummy dearest" who lives down the road to come round and do it and she will do it willingly for him as she doesnt like me. when we told her i was preg she said she couldnt be happy for us and put the scan picture through our letterbox!

amy_tea

i know its easier said than done but maybe it's time to get your own life back? You need to take care of your little one and all this stress isn't doing you any good. You deserve so much better, you deserve to be happy.

Speak to your mum and see if you can arrange a longer term stay with her to see if you can think things over on your own. You may find you prefer being on your own rather than beiing on IoM with no one close by who can help. Atleast in mainland you've got your mum to support you.. more than can be said about your OH.

I hope things getting better for you hunny, one way or another

xxx

Karen23

I was going to suggest that you have a word with his mum and see if she can talk to him, but seeing one of your replies it sounds like she would be of no help! Do you have any good mutual friends, or any female friends of his that you could speak to? They would know the situation between you and your BF and may be able to offer some advice, or have a word with your BF - as long as this didnt antagonise the situation.
All men can be selfish at times (as women can too), but your BF does sound like he's taking the biscuit.
I hope you dont mind me saying this, but you sound a bit resentful at having to look after your BF's other kids. If this is the case, then i would really question whether or not this is the right relationship for you, as they will always be there and you have to be their mum - they'll pick up on the resentment and it'd only get more stressful for everyone involved - not least for you. Some time to reflect and a good heart to heart with your mum could be just what you need - it'd give you time to recharge your batteries and get a good perspective on the situation. Can you get a week of work and stay with her for all that time? A couple of days might not be enough - you wont have time to relax. Give your BF warning though so he has time to arrange some kind of help with the boys - you want to try and come out of this as the mature and responsible one, and try to calmly explain that you need a break and that you feel he isnt supporting you enough.
I really hope that helps and that you manage to sort the situation out. Professional advice, eg Relate, might be somewhere you need to go - he might respond better to a professionals advice rather than coming from you, if he just thinks you are nagging. Relate might seem an extreme step to take, but there are kids involved.
Karen.