ok so i'm not quite in third tri yet....but i'm exhausted, i get maybe around 4 to 5 hours sleep a night i go to bed at 8pm get woken up by the kids anytime between 4am and 5.30am jack moves all night long my oh gets up at 1.45am for work turns on the light gets dressed and as he's getting dress jumps around on the bed in process and wakes me up it takes me up to 2 hours to get back to sleep, i clean the house,cook dinner,do washing everything a partner does i have two young ones at home, and one at school, when oh gets home in the arvo anytime between 1 and 4 i go and have a lie down only to last for 15 mins coz the kids come in and oh is too busy on the computer playing games to help them with anything, he has sunday and mondays off!!!

yesterday (monday) got woken up at 3.58am by the kids that was ok went to town did our usual jobs came home around 1pm and i was falling asleep on the couch so went and lied down on our bed only for my 5 yr old is come in and annoy me, in the end i was so exhausted i walked out to the lounge where the computer is and of course oh, and ripped into him big time, asked him to choose between the computer and me, and also asked him if the same was gonna happen when jack arrives??? he asked me what my problem was i just bursted into tears and said i'm exhausted, i'm tired i need YOUR help!!! i was trying to have a sleep and master 5 was annoying me, his reply was..........am i a mind reader????? omg i just couldnt take it anymore i'm scared that when jack arrives i am gonna be the one doing everything and i cant handle that!! all day sunday i spring cleaned the house while HE sat on the computer, then we went to the supermarket and of course it had been raining i slipped over and hurt my back, no help after that!!!

i'm at my wits ends at trying to make him see i cant do it all by myself i moved from queensland to western aussie to be with him and i have no family here!!! sorry its so long!!

Firstly then breathe hun.

I didn't want to read and run, but I'm going to be useless and not have much advice.

The only thing I can say, is men are stupid creatures! They don't seem to notice things that go on under thier noses. I think your DH proved this by saying he didn't realise how tired you are....they just don't notice these things!!

Can you have a chat with him, explain that whilst him playing on the computer was fine before you were pregnant was fine (to an extent) what you really need now is for him to help you out. You may have to be blatent and say everytime 'i'm going for a lie down, please don't let the kids disturb me until at least X o'clock.

It's a whole different kettle of fish if you ask and he won't do it!!

I had to get my OH to get up some muddy footprints from the kitchen floor, he moaned as usual, until I politely pointed out I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and cannot reach the floor, unless I intend on staying there!! He said good point, and proceeded to mop the entire kitchen! The eejit just needed to be told!

Good luck and I hope you can finally get some sleep.

*hugs* I don't know if it helps, but when my brother was living with me he would never lift a finger to do a thing unless specifically asked. It used to drive me nuts thinking how inconsiderate he was but finally I figured out he'd do almost any task you just had to TELL him! I wonder if your OH is the same?
My OH definitely has selective blindness and never sees that anything needs doing most of the time - and I'm a computer widow too! He does do stuff though, just whatever project *he* feels wants doing.

I know they shouldn't have to be told and should just be decent and do it but if it gets things done maybe it's time to start handing out instructions? xxx

Hi OP, first off sorry you're so stressed and tired.

Don't think I'm siding with your OH when I say this but he's right when he says he's not a mind reader. Whilst a lot of women can pick up on the clues of when to do something or when someone is pissed off most men are just rubbish at it!

My OH and I had the same problem, by the time I'd say anything to him I'd be so MAD that I'd explode and there'd be a massive argument. Somewhere along the line we agreed that if there was something I wanted him to do I'd tell him immediately and not assume he knew to do it ("Assume I'm that stupid, because I am!"). So these days anything I want him to do or not do I spell out for him. It's been the best resolution we ever made in our 10 year relationship; we rarely argue now (maybe twice a year) and I hardly ever feel frustrated or angry with him.

They say that money is the biggest cause of arguments in relationships but it's not it's "Well if you don't know why I'm pissed off I'm not telling you!"

Hehe shelley, I spoke to my OH about this thread and he said exactly the same thing!!

If I want him to do something I have to tell him exactly what I want done! It can be so obvious to me, but he just can't see it!!

I guess the problems arise when you ask, and the OH then doesn't help or listen. That's an issue.

I hope you get it sorted Fordy.

Not much help either, my OH is just as bad, but agree that men can't seem to anything without being asked.

Maybe when you have a chance, chat to him and explain you know he can't read minds but perhaps BEFORE he goes on the computer would he ask you if you need any help first.

My OH always puts the blame back on me, asking me to stop nagging him. Which is entirely unfair as I do most stuff myself because I know he wont. Now, if I REALLY need his help and have to ask him, when says anything I just reply "well if you asked if I needed anything doing BEFORE you got SO busy then I wouldn't be asking you now. I can't read your mind..."

Also, I read somewhere about trying to use "WILL you please..." rather than "CAN you please..." . With CAN men think "Well I CAN but why can't you...". With WILL they think either yes I will or no I won't, but at least know you are asking them to do it, not that you can't be bothered. If that makes and sense...

Hope some of this helps, hope you get the sleep and help you need soon,

Love
Kx

(this is fordys oh) in my defence, fordy usually goes into the bedroom for a hour or so when i get home and reads a book. i honestly thought she was reading NOT trying to sleep as she usually asks me if its ok for her to have a sleep (and the answer is ALWAYS yes thats fine babe, i will try to keep the kids quiet and not let them annoy you.). she didnt ask me this time so i thought she was just reading. poor communication on both our parts. lol. but i agree with shellysbelly in regards to being asked. im not the most observant of people and im as subtle as a brick through a big glass window. when it comes to anything mechanical im there fixing it!! lol! but housework has NEVER been one of my strong points but im 1000% better than i use to be! *insert shamed face here* and i know i have a long way to go too.

anyway, thats my rant on the subject lol.

max.