it's such a personal decision .... kind of feel annoyed for you that other people are sticking their nose in! it's your body after all ...
as i understand it the options are:
gas & air (which you can have wherever/whenever, I think - some people don't like it but most people seem to reckon it helps - this is what i'm going for)
pethidine (which as you say they don't give you if you want to be in water - it's morphine-based I think, and crosses the placenta, so it can affect the baby and apparently they are often quite drowsy for a while after birth. it can also make some people very nauseous or sick, and as I get sick even from things like Tramadol I'm staying away from it myself)
epidural (if you're in a hospital) - as I understand it this then means you're then stuck with lying on a bed strapped to tubes and monitors etc, and will feel numb for some time afterwards, but some people find it a godsend - I'm not going to a hospital (hopefully) so staying away from this too, as I also hate needles!

at my antenatal class the mw also talked about things like TENS machines, aromatherapy, acupressure, breathing, moving around, making noises etc as forms of pain relief.

Not sure about the timing of asking for / being offered different types of pain relief. If you go with the flow you will probably get offered the lot at different times!

Have a read around and decide what YOU want for yourself - it's not always reliable to go with other people's opinions / experiences, as yours will be very different to anyone else's

Hey! same here .. im not 100% but im sure that the birth plan i have will go out of the window when i am actually in labour because my plans never go to plan lol!!

My idea is that ill stay at home with the TENS machiene i bought from lloyds for labour for aslong as i can handle, i dont really want to get to the hospital too early, ill feel more comfortable at home, then when i get to the hospital i would like to use the birthing pool for the labour but not actually give birth in the pool, just use it to help with the pain, ontop of that i would like gas & air, but im not very good with pain so if i get as far as this without anything other than water & gas & air i will be very proud of myself lol..
If however the pain is too much i will ask for pethadine & then last resort if i really really cant handle it then i will ask for an epidural .. im hoping that i can do it on TENS, gas & air and pethadine at the most tho ..

hope everything goes smoothly for you x

the G&A made me feel sick and didnt help the pain at all. I had a night time labour (my son was born at 7.31am after being induced at 6pm the night before) and i had pethidine about 3am and it really helped me to sleep in between contractions which then gave me the energy to push later on. If i hadnt have gotten that little bit of sleep it would've been awful!

I wouldnt have an epidural because it means you cant feel anything and the best bit about the birth of my son was feeling him come into the world.

Thanks ladies

It seems no one has had a good experience with pethadine, I'm not sure if I'd want to feel drunk and out of it (although it's tempting!) I would like to remember what's going on.

They did say the pool could be used for pain relief only and then get out to give birth (they also have 2 deep baths for this) so it's more likely I'll be able to do this even if the pool is in use.

I am planning on staying home for as long as possible...we don't have a car at the moment and my Mum will take me there, but I'd rather not be sent home again as it means her having to do lots of trips. My sister lent me her TENS machine so I'll be using this.

I guess my ideal would be that by the time I get to hospital I'll be at least 4cms, and then I'll just cope on G&A, but I doubt that'll happen!

I reckon I'll just have to see how it pans out. Why is the unknown so scary??!

It is very much down to you: different people want different things (and are prepared to take different risks) out of their birth experience. So one size doesn't fit all and the deicision is left up to you. Personally I would say it should be YOUR decision (not your OH's) because, at the end of the day, he is not the one in pain...

Here is my current plan:
- Start off in the birthing pool (all of the three birthing suites at my hospital have them) and see how that goes with both massage and gas and air. You do not have to stay in the water - at ANY time you can get out.
- If it gets too much, then out for an epidural. The ones that my hospital offers allow some feeling and mobility.

So I am sort of "go with the flow", BUT with a structured plan behind it. I don't think that you want to be making difficult decisions when you are in labour (but a "plan A isn't working, move onto plan B" is easy enough to decide).

Do your research on Pethadine: I have not spoken to any medical professionals in favour of it (infact one said that, if Pethadine was being licenced now then it would never get approval for use...). The hospital I am going to (a Catholic hospital) is against the use of Pethadine too. The worst thing about it is that it crosses the Placenta to the baby: so think of the possible negative side effects that it could have on you, but imagient he baby suffering them instead... . It doesn't mean that Pethadine doesn't have it's place, but you need to consider carefully the risks involved....

IF you want the birthing pool, then tell the maternity suite when you phone to say that you are on your way. Still no guarantee, BUT requesting at that stage may swing it...

Good luck
QT

When I went for my booking appointment I got loads of leaflets about pain relief etc. If you want I can go and try and find them and type out the pros and cons for you xx

Going on my own experience of childbirth with my ds, I just had the gas and air. Tbh, I didn't think it did a thing. The best use I found for it was throwing it off my oh's head (oops!). I think this time I will just go with the flow. By the time the real pain kicked in with my ds they wouldn't give me anything anyway! Just some stupid mw telling me to breathe through the pain (yeah right). But, hey, I survived. As my dear gran always said 'what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger'. I can't really say I have given it much thought this time round. I know its going to hurt like hell whatever I choose so why worry? Ha ha ha.... ask me again in say 8 weeks and i'll be a nervous wreck!!! lol

Oh ye, meant to mention, my only experience with pethadine was when i got taken into hosp at 31 weeks with my ds. I started having very early contractions and they used it to stop them. I was drugged up for what seems like an eternity. But i kinda wonder why they would use it in labour if thats what it does to contractions???

i know how you feel. i wanted a water birth but the fact that i wont be able to have anything more than gas and air is offputting. i havent made a birth plan and im not going to, im just gonna go with the flow. as long as you are well informed about the options available to you i think itll be okay, when you're in the situation you will be better able to make the choice on what you want. i no longer see a point in saying "i'm not having this" when i know i will probs end up having it haha xxx

I'm def starting to think pethadine is a bad idea!!

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens....if it's long and stupidly painful then I'll prob have an epi.....if I manage to hold out at home like I hope, who knows it could be too late for anything.

QT I liked the idea of a mobile epi, but my hospital don't offer it....if you have an epi you MUST stay on the bed so they can monitor you....which isn't ideal but I guess if the pain is THAT bad I won't care if it means lying down.

I think I'm going to try using water, either for birth (if the pools free) or just a bath for pain relief. With G&A obviously!!! I guess I'll get to a point where it might be too late for anything else anyway so i'll just have to go with it!

I won't do a birth plan....except no student docs or MWs (my hospitals a training one!) as much as they need to learn it won't be on me!

Thanks so much for all the advice I guess there is no real planning involved, just see what happens.....personally I think it'll be quick and easy!!!! I can dream can't I?!