Don't get me wrong ladies, I love my Mum to pieces, she did an amazing job as a single mum and she's great! But sometimes she can drive me mad!

I know she doesn't mean to do it but she constantly makes digs because I'm currently living off benefits....she'll makes sure she tells anyone who knows that I wasn't bought up that way and she doesn't condone it! I get sooo tempted to say to her sometimes....I'm sorry I fell pregnant and decided to keep it...yes I lived above my means for too long and was an eejit and didn't save any money, but what did u want me to do abort your grandchild??

She absolutely ADORES my nephew Jack, constantly talking about him, sends everyone the latest pictures, buying him toys....I hope she'll be the same with my LO but I really really doubt it. My sister was married and owned a house so therefore he's more special.

So far this evening (she's in cyprus but it's her Birthday so rang for a chat) I've had the 'i do hope your baby is half as well behaved as Jack....I know your not one for discipline' (well mother that's only because your severe tough love rubbed off on my sister) oh and .... 'i don't really like Nick as a name, it's not very strong, and reminds me of knickers....Ben (our back up I suppose) is much stronger...not as nice as Jack of course but still a good second'

Arghh sorry she makes me want to scream!! I'm going to damn well prove her wrong one day and that I haven't ruined my life.

I would tell her that adults are able to control what comes out of their mouths, and if she cant resist saying childish things and trying to cause resentment between you and your sister, perhaps she should not say anything at all.

You my lovely should be bloody proud of yourself. You have been working - you are only NOT working because you are about to produce your first child, being born into a loving relationship, where her grandson (who she will adore as soon as she sees sweety so dont worry about that!) will flourish into a wonderful human being as he has caring parents who have given up a lot to look after him. I love being married, but at the end of the day it is a piece of paper. Not having a piece of paper does not mean your relationship is less valuable or deep. In fact many marriages would have fallen apart over the things that you and your OH are dealing with currently.

I'd remind her that you need support at this time, not criticism, and if she doesnt feel able to offer this, she should take a back seat until she feels she can.

Sorry if thats a bit of a rant and doesnt make much sense, but that is just bloody rude. You should stand up for yourself a bit hon. I know she's your mum but NOONE has the right to try to make you feel shit about yourself. How DARE she!!!

What Buffy said

I hate to say this, but your Mum is being an idiot... It always gets to me what my Mum does similar (although not as bad/regularly as yours). I think, especially when I am pregnant myself, that I just struggle to comprehend "how a mother can act like that"...???

I guess that mothers are people, at the end of the day, and have flaws like everyone else...

I think that you need to point out to her that the things that she says (especially comparisons with your sister/nephew) are incredibly hurtful. As Buffy says, if she can't say something nice/constructive, then please say nothing at all.

As I have said before, Boomerslady, you are an amazing and exceptional woman: you should be supported and be very proud of yourself.

QT

I don't know what to say other than your Mom isn't being very nice right now about a lot of things She seems to be comparing your LO to your nephew before he is even born... not a fair thing to do! She is supposed to be loving, supportive etc... and be there for you not make you feel pressured and less of a woman by being on benefits etc... I sure hope she turns around once your LO is born because that will be something very hard to deal with and really put a strain on your relationship with her if she continues even further.

Mums can be silly sometimes....my Mum proved that to me last weekend BIG TIME!!!! I'm sure we'll do it ourselves soon when we're mums

I know what you mean about the nephew thing....my little nephew Nathan is 2 now. My sister and her OH have been together about 8 years, they've lived together about 5 years, they're engaged....then there's me single and still living with my mum and dad I sometimes wonder whether my mum will prefer Nathan, especially with him being her first grandchild, but we'll just have to wait and see! I don't think it'll happen though. xx

I don't know... my Dad used to always infuriate me because he always prefered his NEWER grandchild (he has passed away now, but this is from seeing my niece and nephew born). I always observed it and just prayed that the grandchildren didn't notice it!!!

He didn't do it on purpose, but I have no idea why he did it... maybe the magic of new babies/children tends to eclipse older children (at least for some people)? Who knows!

Still, with the in-laws I think that we have an upper hand: this will be their first (MUCH wanted) grandchild AND it is a boy (Chinese - VERY, VERY "boy oriented"). I will just have to protect him from a life time of spoiling!!!

QT

Thanks for replying ladies sorry I haven't been on all day to reply, I had my baby shower...omg I'm tired now!

Anyway...I know she can say the wrong things a lot, but I try to let them blow over me! I know she only means well and she thinks her saying all this is her way to try and ensure I'm a good mum!

I'm a complete soft touch with the family dog.....because the poor girl is 13 and close to the end...I love my dog and my mum is so cruel to her (always snapping, she must lie in her bed at all times etc) I feel bad when I go over so I let her sit at my feet and annoy me for a cuddle!!!

Anyway....I'm fully aware I have to discipline my child! Just because I'm nice to a dog in her last months doesn't mean I will let my child get away with everything!

Sorry for another mini rant! Really didn't mean too! I think I just need to find my voice with her....once I am a mummy she'll have to listen to me.

I hope you've all had a nice day