No, I definitely don't think you're wrong. I would definitely be shocked if my mom went off on me like that too. Sounds like she more embarassed about how it 'looked' not to invite his family in, than being concerned about the difficult position you were also in. Imagine how you feel having his family over, sipping tea and making nice-nice, when you know in your heart that they/FOB don't want much to do with their child/grandchild? That would really strange and pretentious. Plus, I'm sure his family knows he hasn't been there for the baby - and seemingly they haven't influenced him to change his mind - so why should they expect the two of you to graciously invite them in and pretend as if everything is merry? I'm sure they weren't even expecting that. This has been really hard on you - and it's not your fault that your FOB has distanced himself from your child - so I think it's unfair for your mom to make you feel bad about it, just for the sake of 'keeping up appearances' that are not real. If she were my mom, I would want her to be a bit more understanding of my feelings in a difficult situation such as this.

You didn't do anything wrong. I think she's being a bit mrs Bucket (bouquet dahling) and is unsure how she should have behaved and poor lil you got the brunt of it.

Like it wasn't awkward and difficult enough for you to deal with, with him turning up at your door.

I'm thinking menopause - my mum was a bloody nightmare! She's probaby feeling bad - but won't admit it.

Lots of hugs to you sweety - you're lovely.

By the way you silly billy, she will ADORE your little one!! Just like she loves you. She screwed up - it happens - let it blow by.

XXXXXXXX

I don't see how you did anything wrong, so what ya get pressie wise? lol! It sounds like your mom went on protective mode but sort of took it out on you instead of him, just let the waters go calm then decide how to handle it or to still live there, lots of luck.

Awww...thank you all for being so nice.

I ended up going round to my sisters...my nephew always manages to cheer me up

I told my sister about the argument and she was pretty shocked at mum flying off the handle, she thought it was totally out of character and maybe a lot of pent up emotion over it. My mum has been the one I've turned to when I've been upset about us splitting up, so she's always had to be the strong one and be there for me. Maybe she just got to the end of her tether.

And hehe the Mrs Bouquet comment made me laugh Buffy! She is VERY houseproud so I think the initial moment when I said to her "FOB is on his way" she was like OMG look at the state of the house (the curtains were down being cleaned and dad was painting!) It is just a case of etiquette with her, whereas I think he doesn't deserve it. Its a difficult one I suppose but thankfully she seems OK now.

She did have to text FOBs mum and say sorry for not inviting them in, she didn't know they were coming blah blah....which is a bit annoying cos I feel like saying "Stop being so nice to them!!!!".

Can you imagine how awkward it woulda been us all sitting around having tea and cake? At least when the baby is here all the attention and conversation will be baby, baby, baby!

Thank you all

I agree with a few folks that your mum sounds either premenstrual or menopausal. My mum went loopy when she went through menopause.

Hope you clear everything up and I hope you can express to her how you feel about his parents. I think it's quite unfair of her to be treating them so well if they have been nasty to you in the past. Unless they show some effort, why would you?

Aww, just ignore her - you did nothing wrong. It isn't too much to expect support from your mum in such an awkward and emotive situation.

How confusing for you!

Hopefully your mum was just 'having a moment', she sounds a bit like my nan - very house proud and hates to think anybody thinks badly of her for anything, even those she doesn't necessarily like!

It'll blow over I'm sure, though you're a better person than I am to keep so calm!!

Mums are funny creatures! I am imagine the whole split has been nard on her too and those emotions came out on the wrong person-u!

Of course she won't love littlun,or you any less-and i imagine she would feel bad and hurt if she realised she had made you cxonsider moving out . Im sure she'll be fine tomoro xx

I would NOT want my fob coming around while I was pregnant if he left me. I'd want to be moving on. You don't need to be friends with him, you just need to be civil with him, which it sounds to me you are. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. This situation really has nothing to do with your mom and spending time with FOB and his family is completely up to you. You're suppose to be on bed rest, you don't need this extra stress and drama. I'm sorry you had to go through that this weekend.

Thanks everyone

I totally didn't feel comfortable seeing FOB, sounds weird but I hated that he saw bump. I dunno why! I had already told him I didn't feel comfortable seeing him before the birth but he still went and turned up....I didn't feel I could tell him to turn away when I got a text saying "I'm 20 mins away". I'm actually quite angry with him now I've thought about it a bit more...he obviously did it like that on purpose because he had known all weekend what he was planning. He'd taken the presents to Blackpool with him from home actually planning on bringing them on his way back....so why couldn't he have told me earlier. The presents aren't things I need straight away anyway...they are things the baby won't even use for a while. He could brought them when baby was here.

I hate FOBs!!

Good thing is that my mum is OK with me now, woulda been nice to get an apology from her but I knew I wouldn't. Maybe she isn't sorry, she might think she wasn't in the wrong. Annoying though that his mum got a "sorry we didn't invite you in" text and I got nothing. I'm still a little bit angry at her, but she's obviously swept it under the carpet and pretending everything is normal again.