I'm so sorry for always moaning ladies, I'm just fed up with my OH at the moment after Reading the thread about other peoples lovely OH it makes me realise how lovely some men can be!

I love my OH to bits, don't get me wrong but I think we are going through a bad patch! We lived together at his Mums for a good year or so, until we moved into our own flat 3 weeks ago. At his Mums (because I was working full time) and he can't find work, he did everything, he cooked me dinner, fetched me drinks etc etc.

Now we are in our own flat he seems to want to get revenge for me doing nothing for all that time. He occasionally does the washing up, and I think he's hoovered once and put 1 load of washing on. He moans like a child at having to do these small chores. He said yesterday he's finding it hard having a whole flat to keep clean, rather than one room, which is fair enough.

But yesterday I wanted to punch him! He had a dentist appointment and while he was gone I did the washing up, 2 loads of washing, hoovered and cleaned the bathroom. I hadn't sat down in hours, when he got home he walked in and said, oh I'm knackered I need to sit down (I was thinking your knackered??? Cheeky prick) and he goes and sits himself in front of the tv while I'm hoovering.

Also, this is kinda OT and he has apologised (after a row!) but i needed copies of his bank statements to prove to the council he has no money (he's not entitled to job seekers because I was on a high salary) He gave them to me & it said there was £40 in there. I questioned him on it, and he said oh yeah, it was a payment from the job centre, I took it out yesterday. I was fuming, I deal with all bills, food shopping etc etc (I'm in my overdraft as am waiting for my MA money). He said he was gonna keep the money for fags, as he hated asking me for money.

I went absolutely ape shit at him, I know he wants his own money, but why should he get £40 for stuff when I haven't spent a penny on myself in months. I don't wanna be made to feel like I can't trust him. I explained I needed all his money for rent/bills etc and if we had any spare he could buy fags.

Like I said he's apologised since but I was sooo angry, I know he hates me looking after the money, but he doesn't wanna do it, therefore what am I meant to do!?

Sorry this turned out to be a lot longer than I thought. Likebi said k think it's just a rough patch, but I'm finding it so hard adjusting to having my own place, keeping it clean, sorting out bills, council tax etc while it feels like he sits on his arse.

Sorry again for the rant, I'm sure things will get better (they better do) or I'll lose my mind!

*hugs* Poor thing! Rant away, it usually helps, lol.

Men are so rubbish with things like that - they just don't think sometimes. My OH was the same with money, i had a job and would be out every day working, and he sat round the house all day doing nothing - he didn't even tidy up - and when his job seekers money came in, he spent it on fags and booze. No matter what i said or did it didn't make a difference, so at least your OH has apologised!

Chin up, when baby comes you won't even remember the arguements x

Oh hunny, i SO know you feel

If i started, i'd be here all day so it's best i keep my mouth shut

Have some extra ones

What??? Sorry - but we have a 3 storey house and me and my OH manage!!! If I'm tired he does and never moans! Its not a good enough attitude from your OH - tell him to stop being such a pillock - people have to clean their flats/houses etc - its life!!!

I'm not surprised you are pissed off with him - hopefully your argument will wake him up a bit!

x

I think you should show him this thread and show him the thread about the OH who cook and clean. Maybe give him a wakeup call.

Lol thanks Charlie.

I just think because he's never had to clean before it's a shock to him!! He's been a lot better today, but he thinks doing the washing up twice a week is him sharing chores! I explained there was washing, hoovering, cleaning etc and his view is why do all that when it'll just get dirty again!!! Eejit man....altho now I'm in my own flat I want it to be clean and tidy all the time!!

bloody hell i get told off cos i wont sit down lol!! i wont let him clean everything cos he works overtime and i wudnt want him to come in and start cleaning even tho he sed its OK if i put my feet up and he'll do everything - thats not fair tho is it lol!

i hope he sees sense and starts looking after you, never mind fags xxxxxx

Yeah, I think its one of those things a lot of guys don't understand: Cooking and cleaning are not things that get magically done for you, its part of being a grown up, YOU HAVE to do them.

I say guys find it difficult but to be honest I still struggle with the concept. Surely I'm important enough to deserve a maid!!!!

And you have to do all those things EVERY day!!!! That's just life. You just need to talk to him and explain that. Also, if you spend an hour a day just doing all the crappy chores they'll be done and that's usually enough. Unless, like me you let the house get into the state it's in now.

As for the money thing... you're obviously TOTALLY in the right but I do feel for him. It's horrible relying on someone else for money especially when money's tight. Can he not get a crappy part time job somewhere till he finds something better? A couple friend of mine, the husband was working as a sales assistant in a men's clothing shop for over a year even though he's a qualified lawyer.

Thanks red poppy, and yes you do deserve a maid!! We all do.

Your right tho it doesn't take long, he just needs a slap!! To be fair to him as well, I'll see something that needs doing, and want him to sort it (like taking out rubbish) but forget to ask, then I end up snapping at him for not doing it, even tho I never asked!!

In terms of jobs, he's never held anything down for longer than 6-8 months, and as his Mum didn't want rent or any money it was very easy for him to just quit a job and do nothing. Reality has kicked in now, and he wants to be a good Dad but as he's been out of work for nearly a year he can't even get a supermarket job. There's just nothing about at the moment.

Ah well, I'll just keep hoping he can get something soon!!

Well it depends what he's willing to do. I understand a lot of people hold out for a better job but by the sounds of things you're not in a position to have the luxury of that choice. My OH may lose his job in a month or so (super great time to lose a job!!!) and we have savings to live on for a few months at least but if that wasn't the case we'd have to make allowances and just take anything. I know it's a recession hun but it depends what he's willing to do. As I said its up to him and I suppose a little you as you're a couple and a family soon. Considering most retail places take staff around September it seems like he may just have to lower his expectations if he wants to have his own money to spend.

Although now probably is the worst time as it's nearly Christmas. Having said that, if he's been out of work for that long, I just think he needs to be willing to take anything to tide you over?

Sorry if you think what I've said is out of order and I don't want to preach but considering how hard you've been working it seems unfair in my eyes. I hope he find something great in the new year! And on a happier note, the guy who was working in retail finally found a part time job in law although it pays LESS than his full time retail job did!!! but he obviously had to take it as he doesn't want to say goodbye to his CV.