I'm totally shocked

Myself and FOB are no longer together, we've had our ups and downs over the past few months and even stopped talking altogether for 2 months but we are now on pretty good terms with each other.

Anyway just had a phone call from him...

"I need your bank details, account number and sort code and all that...."

Me: "er, why?"

" So I can set up a direct debit for next month to pay for Aiden..."

Me: "oh er, ok then..."

I did NOT expect this, there was no mention of how much he's going to pay each month....

I thought this was really decent of him but now I have my suspicions as to why he's being so pleasant about it....he already has one son he's paying out for through the CSA. Well if I were to go through the CSA, they would take a certain amount off him but I would only get £20 a week out of it and they'd keep the rest. But if he does it direct with me, he can just give me the £20 a week and keep the rest for himself. Do you think I'm right? I mean, fair enough it's his money and it will help him out a bit more but how crafty is that!!

He could just want your bank details for the CSA??
I have a friend that has arrranged a private agreement, and it works for them. You have to be warrey that it might not be forever.. and then it could be difficult to sort out at a later date with the CSA.

I'm not expert, so I would get some independant advice from the CAB maybe?
xx

Does the csa keep part of the money? Surely that is wrong

They do yeah.

What happens is, if you are on benefits, then you will only ever get £20 out of whatever the FOB gives the CSA every week. They keep the rest to pay for your benefits. If you're NOT on benefits, you keep the lot.

However, this could be an avantage for both of us, because if he were to pay me more than £20 a week, even if it was £25, I'd be getting more for Aiden than I would through the CSA and he'd be saving the difference for himself.

You are right though, he could just stop the money at any time but I will discuss this with him before I go ahead with it all!

Just so you know, you are obliged to inform the Jobcentre Plus if you recieve any maintenance.

http://www.cmoptions.org/en/maintenance/prepare.asp

My OH pays around £300 a month and we had a letter off csa that if he didnt keep up payments they would take action (the ex said he wasn't paying anything, so he had to send proof in) Anyway they said how much he has to pay and he pays her direct. So she gets it all and she's on benefits.

Could you not calculate what he should be paying with the csa calculator and inform them and him but get him paying privately?

Ahhhh ok I'm getting really confused now!! I think a trip to the CAB is definitely the best idea.

if your on benefits you are only entitled to £20 csa. if your not on benefits you get whatever amount the csa claim from him (based on his earnings). IF your on benefits and set up your own agreement you have to notify the benefits agency or you could be facing a fraud case and have all benefits stopped!


been there with my ex, we had a private agreement, he then reported me to benefits for getting £5 more than i was entitled to (i didnt realise this at time - no-1 told me!) and all benefits were stopped until the £5's had been paid back. after he reported me he then stopped paying as well! after OH got a job and we were no longer on benefits i got the csa involved and its taken directly from his wages b4 he sees them as he messed csa about paying 1 month and not next.

Twenty pounds a week. That is a ridiculoulsy low amount.

I agree, i have no idea what the csa cib etc stands for but it costs way more than that to bring up a baby. And i am amazed they take the money off the man and then keep some, very strange.