Going to be a LONG post sorry girls. But i just need to get this all out as I can't stop crying.

So most of you know that I've been dealing with preterm labor/bedrest/hospitalization/ and yucky meds for weeks now. I've so far done my job and keeping baby Jack in.

Well yesterday I thought I was leaking fluids so I went in to the hospital. They did the paper test and it turned out positive and said it looks like I have ruputured. Then the doctor came in and did the fern test and well that didn't have any evidence that I ruputered. SOOOOO they sent me home...WTF

She said that the fern is alittle more reliable then the nitrapaper so they think i should be okay. She didnt even offer a scan or do one to check my levels.......SAY WHAT!?!?!

If you girls didn't know.....I lost all my fluid at 29weeks and we dont know why, either my med i take or a slow leak i never noticed. And I went and have my routine scan and found NO FLUID left..........and had to have a csection at 30weeks. SO why in the hell wouldnt she do a scan, specially with my history. I was so upset I got dressed and went home.

I then decided it was time to find a new doctor. I searched all day and finally found one that would take a 32week pregnant lady who is high risk. It's a male who i've never seen, at a new hospital so we'll see how it goes. I see his PA tomorrow.

So i still feel like i'm leaking. If i lay down and stand up i feel a small gush come out. I know I have a bacterial infection but it's NEVER had fluid like this so idk what to think.

Now to the real heartbreaker.

Okay so my husband since he was little has had an anger problem. He is generally a very nice, outgoing, fun guy but when he gets angry, he can have these terrible tempers and theres NOTHING you can do to get him out of it. It doesnt happen all the time and not even everyday..but when it does it's not good. We suffered a few years back with him talking so down to me and us fighting physically a few times. That really doesnt happen anymore well not the physical part b/c he knows I won't take it.

Well we have our son who will be 4 in August and I have to say he is quite the little pistle. He is such a smart boy for his age and is always full of energy and really is a great kid. But sometimes of course like any other 4year old, he can be sassy and not listen. we have to repeat ourselves and telling him no, or stop that, don't do that, etc. We try to keep him busy so that this doesnt happen but sometimes he's just searching to get our attention.

Well this plus my husbands anger problem.....DONT go well together. After we've had to yell at owen and discipline him or a time out...5 times or more, my husband usually can't take it and will flip out. He will start screaming and swearing and it's not good. I then always butt in and say don't talk like that to our son or in front of our children..but like i said he's in that "zone" and I can't get him out of it. It usually goes away after awhile and then he feel guilty.

So anyways.....last night it happened and I got so upset and he was freaking out on me....so i had Owen (our son) call my mother in law and tell her what was going on, and he was crying when he called. She said she's coming right over.

So my husband was SO PISSED that I called his mum and he said i'm a fucking bitch, blah blah blah and he got up and left.

My mother in law came and talked to me and the boys and then said Brian(my hubby) will have to face his parents about this b/c they aren't going to make us live this way. She said he's ALWAYS needed anger managment and they never sent him. She said she's going to tell him to get help or thats it.

Soooo I texted my husband and he said he's see me tomorrow that he wasnt coming home. I drove all around town searching for him. I decided to go home and go to bed with the boys.

Hubby came home about 2 hours later at 10pm. I was still up. He came to our bedroom and took a pillow, the alarm clock, and his phone charger. He then walked out. He then said......"oh by the way, before i forget"...and I said "yea".......he goes " fuck you". And that was the end of our conversation.

He slept on the couch and this morning i woke up to the words......"we're getting a divorce just so you know".

I said when...and he said soon. I said okay if thats what you want. I then just sat around in the living room with him untill he got up for work. We didnt talk about anything at all and he got up and gave our little one Gavin a kiss and said good bye to him. He left the house without his wedding ring and didnt even look at me.

I am now devasted and feel SO sick to my stomach, can't eat, cant stop crying..and i have no idea what to think.

We've both said we want a divorce b4 but usually it's better later on. But this time seems so real that he is so mad at me and that's what he wants.

I texted him asking him if he's 100% sure and if so then thats fine and I'll get the papers for him, I said I can't sit around wondering and crying all day. And that lets just get this over with if that's what he wants......

He didn't reply so I called him and he answers and doesnt say a word..even when i say hello. So i hung up and tried again, same thing so i just hung up. I'm trying to stay strong but it's SO hard.

What do you girls think..do you think he'll really divorce me? we've been married for almost 5 years and together since we were 14. We've been through so much and said we're getting divorced but by the next day things are fine. But i just feel he feels different this time. What would you do? Sit back and just see what happens? Or go get the papers and say here, fill em out if you want.? Do you think it's just all talk and he hasnt cooled down yet?

I want you to know, other then his temper my husband is a great husband. he works so hard, doesnt drink or smoke or go out....EVER without me. We do things as a family and he trys to help out at home. We're young only 23 so i know it's hard but we've done pretty good so far.

I feel So sick and know i have to eat but everytime I try I can't and want to puke. But i know baby needs food. I need to stay strong no matter what happens but honestly if he's serious I dont know what i would do.......

So sorry for the long terrible post...........

I'm so sorry for what you are going through with the baby and the other half. I can't really offer any advice as never been in this situation myself, maybe he just needs some time out to chill out and let off some steam - give it a few days and he may have had a change of heart.

Hope everything works out for the best.

Don't really know what to say about your husband it sounds like a horrid situation, I'm glad it seems like you have good in-laws.

As for the medical stuff, I really hope your appointment with the new doctor goes well, you must be so scared.

You're in my thoughts

Oh my goodness, you really are going through it just now aren't you?
You poor thing have lots of

All relationships are hard and have their really tough moments, some are even harder than others. I once read somewhere that the tough times are just the bits between all the happy photos in the family albums - no-one remembers the tough bits, but we remember the happy ones.

Is it possible that your hubby thinks its just going to be easier for him to walk out on you, his children and his marriage rather than face his anger problems and do something about them? Its always easier to blame other people for your problems (like he is doing to you) than to accept you need to address them.

You must look after yourself though, with your previous problems the last thing you need is to go into labour without having enough food in your belly to fuel you through it.

Take care xxx

OMG Gabs, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this on top of everything else you've had to deal with lately...

Ok sweetheart, so here are my thoughts: The first and most important thing for you is to make a plan of the next few days which does not necessarily include your hubby, making sure that you can cope physically and emotionally until you are properly settled with your new doctor. You really really do not want the stress of this to make things even more complicated for little Jack in there I like the sound of his mother: Can you rely on her for some help with Owen and Gavin? And maybe around the house? Or just as someone to talk to / spend time with to keep yourself calm and to feel supported etc? If not her, then I hope there's someone else who can be there for you in person.
I do NOT like the sound of you doing things like driving about for ages trying to find him when you should be on strict bedrest. There's a reason that you need to be resting right now, as you well know, so if you can sort out something in the way of support that allows you to rest as much as possible in this situation then please please do it honey...

As for all of the questions about what he intends/ is thinking etc... We can all only guess. But it does sound to me as though you guys have been through this sort of thing before and come out the other side still intact. I think there's a good chance that he has that all-too-common freaking-out-dad syndrome right now, and perhaps he is just dealing with the anxiety of your high risk pregnancy in a really terrible man-way. If that's the case, I expect he will spend a while away, perhaps talk to his parents (is that likely?) and see that he was being totally unreasonable and foolish and that he should not be putting you under this kind of stress right now, regardless of whether he is actually seriously considering a divorce or not. Now is NOT the time.

I think the most likely outcome will be that he calls or comes back after he has cooled off for a while and decides to make an effort. I would say to you that you should probably not go and get divorce papers etc to throw at him (much as that looks like a good option right now!) ... I'd let things cool off for a bit honey, and let him do what he is going to do. As I said, in the meantime, I think you need to keep your mind busy, try to eat and rest as much as you can and focus on Jack and your other boys rather than on your lack of control of the situation with your hubby.

For the record, he is being a total total ass, and men never cease to amaze me with their idiocy and thickheadedness at such crucial times. I really hope that his better side shines through soon, and that the good man you know deeper down (the good father, good husband) shows how very sorry he is and how foolish he has been.

Sending you the biggest my darling, I hope you're ok, and we are all here for you, though we can't be there in person.



Shadow xxxxx

Thank you so much.

I know exactly what you mean about him blaming me for all of this... Yesterday he came home from work and he was SO nice and helpful around the house. He had made a wonderful dinner, did tons of laundry and lots of cleaning. And he cuddled me on the couch and said he misses us. So the evening was looking amazing. Despite our almost 4 year old who was just in one of his moods where he was acting up no matter what..and then my husband flipped. Was I wrong to call him mum? i'm just tired of the screaming going on and I didn't know what to do.

After he was swearing and stuff at owen and I butted him, he BLAMED me for owen's behavior. Saying i should wait to talk to him, but i said No, b/c i won't have you yelling at our son like that! he disagrees and started swearing more.

The sad thing is......is i keep thinking oh well he can't control it and i understand why he gets so mad....but he CAN control it. B/c if people are around, no matter how bad our son could be he would NEVER act like that! He would be so embrassed. So why do it at all ya know?!!?

and thanks again.

Aw hun. I don't really know what to say, other than to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending you loads of

sorry you are going through this, I am with ShadowRat on this one...

Oh honey what a nightmare can't believe he is being like this with everything you are going through with bubs.

If this has happened before and its always worked out ok there's nothing forcing him to get some help. He is probably feeling very overwhelmed with everything thats going on and having a little one to cope with ontop of the new baby is alot for anyone to cope with (in my experience men often act like they're coping when they are actually just bottling everything up so it explodes like this). Maybe try and talk to him rationally and explain that this can't go on, that he needs to talk to someone about it so you can all be happy? You all deserve better than this.

In the meantime it seems like you have great inlaws so I would lean on them and let them help you.

I hope you can get this resolved so you can be a happy family again

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this on top of everything else.

Sending lots of love and hugs to you, and I hope he comes to his senses soon!