We are pregnant with our 1st baby. H is very keen we have more than one, I said two, he replied three. I then stated that it is fact in my family (on both my mum and dad’s side) that the middle child is a tad screwed up (unsure of why!) and I would prefer two to three and then he said four!! Now the idea does appeal to me as I love having lots of aunty/uncles/cousins etc, but can we really in this day and age afford such a large family?

Cx

Alot of things can be handed down, so maybe!

I think it's something you should talk over more with him really. Every couple is different in terms of how many children they want, for whatever reason. I'm really only focussed on this one at the moment and we will wait and see how we feel in future, but hubby and I have talked about it a lot over the years and I think we would both be happy with two children.

A big family doesn't appeal to me personally, I come from a small family and can't imagine having a house full of people! And I do think, perhaps somewhat controversially, that people should really only have children if they can support them. We would struggle financially with a large family so it's not something I would contemplate doing.

Thanks for your honest opinion Shifter.

I too think it would be foulish to have a large family if we couldn't financially support them.

Kimboowee - I know things can be handed down, but for me it all comes down to £££.

I am one of 3 and as the oldest I understood that if I wanted something my folks couldn't afford I had to wait it out or not get it at all. I want to be able to afford to buy my kids things and not have to worry about £££. Also be able to pay the bills and for them to have their own rooms, I HATED sharing with my sister when I was in my teens.

Cx

Hi hun,
Im just about to have my 4th ... plus i have a step son.

When it comes to money the first was a shock .. mainly because i wanted to be a full time mum and it was a massive drop in income .. then there's buying all the baby stuff etc, but once youve got the stuff you can reuse it

I know some people dont like hand me downs .. at the mo my 3 year old DD loves being able to have my 6 year old dd's stuff but i can see that changing over the years.

I will say that the more you have the less each seems to cost ... things that you think you have to have with your first and even 2nd you realise you can do without and you dont need or you find other things instead...

But if its all about the ££ then i wouldn't go for a big family TBH ... I love big families, the hustle and bustle, the sharing etc etc more than make up for the fact that we cant afford everything we may like.

We have our own house (well mortgaged!) and OH works hard to make sure that we can pay our own way in the world and we have a bit of spare money to go on a holiday every ear and that sort of stuff .... its all about personal choice and priorities tho i suppose

I already have 1 kiddo, he's nearly 7 and i swore i would never have anymore as my thoughts were always '1 is enough' lol but my OH talked me into this bump and i'm already thinking it would be nice to have 1 more but maybe with a less ov an age gap. I know my bump is blue but i;ve still bought all neutral bedding and stuff just incase we do have 1 more and its a pink bump, it can be used again. IMO on paper no one can afford kids (unless your really well off) but its amazing how you manage or shall i say adapt. Me and OH own our own home and both work so no benefits claimed here and if we can't afford it (luxury's) we don't buy it...simple, but we always have enough for what we need.

At the end of the day its up to you chick xx

My OH is the same he would like 3 but right now all I can think of is this baby.
Plus we live in a one bed flat which we are trying to sell just now but as you know the market is crap!
So until we move to a 2 or 3 bed I wont even think of a second let alone third.
Plus I think I might be happy with one child....and that before birth happens!

Emma.xx

I am pregnant with number 4 and cant wait xxx

I am pregnant with suprise baby number 3 and love it
Its true that all the 'essentials' you think you need when having first baby teaches you when you have second baby onwards.

We are lucky that we don't have any debts and good income so the kids don't go without anything.
We can holiday every year and not worry.

If we were in dire straits then I would wonder how many kids we would have had.

I think financially the constraints aren't really about "stuff" for young babies and I agree that there's a lot of stuff that you actually don't need at all. I think handmedowns are absolutely fine and am sure that if and when we do have another there will be lots of things that get reused. But the expense comes into things more as they get older and need their own bedrooms etc.

There is a big ripple effect that I think perhaps some people mind or factor in more than others.

As it is now we can't afford a holiday every year (hubby and I have been together ten years, married for five, and only ever been abroad together twice, once was our honeymoon). So yes, you do have to make lifestyle choices and they get harder once kids are a part of the equation.