Right now i'm feeling very confused, a bit silly & unsure of everything. I was never really very maternal before i had my children, infact i had decided when i was 16 that children weren't on my agenda, but then life happened and suddenly i was a mother to two children. I love my kids to bits, they're my whole world but it hasn't been easy. The father to my two girls cheated during both my pregnancies, a one night stand with the first and a full blown affair starting at 3 months with my second which continued until we split up when my youngest was three months old. I was then left being a single mum for about 2 and a half years which wasn't easy either, but it made me grow up and has made me strong. When i met my husband, he knew that i didn't want any more children, that i wasn't looking to extend my family with any more children, but 2 years in and he decided he wanted a child of his own, and being able to understand that i eventually said that we'd start trying. So here i am now, 22 weeks pregnant & i'm starting to feel very claustrophobic about the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, i'm sooooo happy we decided to have another child, but it seems like my partner doesn't understand just how life changing this is for me. He carries on going to work, going out with his friends etc and i'm the pregnant girlfriend stuck at home..............it kind of feels like my life is on hold until this lil one pops out, while my hubby just carries on as normal. I'm also worried that i'm going to still feel this way after the birth. My children are both now at school full time and i'd just started feeling like i'm getting my life back on track. And as much as I'm looking forward to being a Mum again & i know that my hubby wants to be an active dad, i can't shake the feeling that my life is going to revolve completely around the baby and the home, feeding, changing, washing, tidying, cleaning etc 24/7 while my hubby will continue doing exactly what he does now, working, football training, nights out with the lads with a couple of hours a day being a Dad & leaving me to it.
I know this probably sounds like a completely selfish post, like i'm only thinking about me, but i can't help feeling like i'm watching my individuality slip away bit by bit and i'm being replaced by being a mum and nothing more. I'm looking forward to bubs being born, i'm looking forward to looking after him and doing my bit but it feels like i have to give up 'my life' in order to do that.

I'm not really looking for any replies to this thread, although an outside perspective would be good I'm mainly using it as a bit of therapy, trying to sort my head out. I feel very guilty and ungrateful for feeling this way but i can't seem to shake it.

Aw I'm sorry you are feeling so low. I really don't know what to suggest but I do understand what you mean about having to give up your life again. I bet when your LO is here you will feel happier then maybe it's time for you to spend time with you!

I don't doubt that pregnancy will be bringing back all of the feelings you had when your last partner did the dirty on you....shame on him....what a git

All I can say honey is....if you trust the man you now love don't let thoughts of that other prick ruin things for you

I feel very insecure myself too and wish there was a button to stop us feeling like this, whether it's hormones I don't know but I wish I could just relax and enjoy as this is everything I've ever wanted

I dont think your being selfish atall hun, having a baby is a life changing thing and it doesent matter if its your first or your forth, it does make you feel tied down, i felt like this to after i had my last, but on that same note, my other 2 were still in nappies.

Have you told your OH about how you are feeling? if not, i think he needs to know because it effects all of you, your mental wellbeing is just as important as the rest of the families, us mums sometimes focus so much on our families that we forget about our selves.

Maybe he could agree to you having YOU time when the baby is here, even if it just a trip to the gym, a night out with girls, even just going to your mums alone to escape the pressure of home. If i dident get these 'hours' to my self here and there, i think i would crack up, but my hubby understands that i sometimes need a break, so doesent argue with the fact.

I hope you sort it out hun, but you really should tell him exectly what is going on in your head, then he understands how you you feel. Men dont get these things unless they are explained to them very clearly as they have brains like childrens, lol.

i feel the same, even tho this is my 1st, its also been very stressful, bleeding etc, but he still goes pub and off to mates for nights out, if i say im going out for dinner or something with the girls, im made to feel like i shouldnt cus of all the complications ive had.

i feel like this is it, im having the baby so this is where my life stops... i just hope it doesnt carry on like this.

/moan over lol

This is definitely not a selfish post! I think many of us women are going through this or feeling something similiar! I know I am! I am only 23 and am a full time student in college. I have to put off the rest of my schooling after this semester for the baby and I feel like I will never get to go back!
I think we all have some sort of feeling like we are being put on hold and our lives will be nothing but babies and dirty diapers, just know you aren't the only one out there feeling like this

I understand exactly where you are coming from as its a similar discussion to the one I had with Amy. We embarked upon this on my assurance to her that I would take as much of the strain from her as possible and that I'd help her to return to modelling and photography. Tell your OH your concerns. He sounds like a top guy and I'm sure he will do what he can if he knows what you are worrying about.

Oh babe, you are so not alone.
Its hard to give up who you were.
I don't have any words of advice, but I can tell you that you aren't the only one, and you most definetly are not being selfish. I know I would go crazy with all this if I didn't have this forum to vent on sometimes. My friends are awesome, but most of them are living large, they don't really get what I'm going through.

Vent away whenever you want, hon.