I feel a bit upset!!!

wilbrabeany · Aug 7th, 2008, 06:59 AM

I've just read a post in the premature babies section about the 24 week celebration threads we post. Now i understand that to any parent who has had a premature baby the threads could be misinterpretted, but i feel really upset that they think we posting coz we want our babies out. I understood the 24 week milestone as a celebration of us mothers to be to get to a point in our pregnancy where we can call our little ones babies as this is now recognised by docs and hospitals but also for all those who've had losses, a small step closer to the 40 week target. And a little well done to each other after 24 weeks of worry, why shouldnt we say well done to each other, yes we should we've done well, still some more to do but pause for a minute and say well done.

I just found it really upsetting

LauraAlicia · Aug 7th, 2008, 07:10 AM

We should celebrate that we have reached the milestone..but i can understand their point of view

I wouldnt like to be in the situation where my baby arrived now and was in an incubator as it must be horrible for mothers with premature babies to deal with..dont worry about it though, we never meant to upset them

momandpeanut · Aug 7th, 2008, 07:16 AM

we should definately celebrate our 24 week milestone but of course we dont want our babies out !!

Its just another step on our journeys that we want to recognise !

It makes us aware if the worst happened now at least our lo would stand some chance in this world !

My heart goes out to all the women who have babies prem and all the problems that this brings and in no way would i want to upset anyone thinking i was being thoughtless or selfish !

GemGems · Aug 7th, 2008, 07:16 AM

I agree. We dont mean to upset them. As you say, its a celebration of reaching this precious milestone. We're not saying we want the baby out now, we're simply happy we've reached this far. I can understand how mothers of premmies could get a bit upset about it and i really feel for them, i cant imagine how hard it is.

We're sorry if we've offended you Premmie Mummys. Please forgive!

wilbrabeany · Aug 7th, 2008, 07:20 AM

Thanks girls i hate to think that i might have upset some parents but wanted to try and explain why we do the posts

carries · Aug 7th, 2008, 07:26 AM

i know what you mean Wilbrabeany. I read that thread last week and it actually stopped me from doing my happy dance at 24 weeks...of course we dont want our babies born now and I think everyone is away of the huge risks and consequences if they were born now.

PeanutBean · Aug 9th, 2008, 06:17 AM

This is bizarre. I haven't read the other thread but based on what you've said here I don't understand why anyone would think that when we are celebrating getting to 24 weeks we are wanting premature babies. That doesn't even make sense. We don't post 'happy dance, yay 24 weeks, lets get the baby out and into an incubator'. We are just happy that if something bad unexpectedly happened our babies would have a fighting chance. Why shouldn't we celebrate our progression through pregnancy?

**Wobbles** · Aug 9th, 2008, 06:59 AM

You have every right to celebrate and feel blessed to reach any milestone if it be scans, trimesters, baby engaging ...I remember realising a loss of a child before 24 weeks was a miscarriage - I was devoed at the thought they didn't see my baby as a life until after that point and if Mummy lost her child before this she was not entitled to have leave from work etc

It was so off and sad to read so it was indeed one of my milestones that they now considered my baby life.

I would also say 'I want this baby now' thats because I was BIG but let me exaplain in detail ...I meant that in the way of I wish I was further along & it was time I'd never have wished her early although she was 3 weeks early it wasn't tooooo early & I was home less than 24 hours later

cheryl · Aug 9th, 2008, 07:10 AM

I just read that post too hun, We don't want to upset them but it is a huge milestone for us to get too. My son was born at 33 weeks and spent 4 weeks in special care and there is no way I would want another premie baby, I want to go to full term, I don't mind if I go past my due date I just want a healthy baby, But I did a post at 24 weeks because it was a big thing for me to get that far, I have done nothing but worry all the way throught this pregnancy and I won't stop worrying til i hold my LO in my arms. But if something was to happen, I know he has a chance of suviving.
I admire the ladies who have gone through what they have. But we don't mean to upset them its just a huge milestone for us to reach, like the next one for me will be 27 weeks and reaching the 3rd tri. The same as at 12 weeks the chance of miscarrage goes down its just different stages we get to in our pregnancy's.
Luv Cheryl xxx

Aidan's Mummy · Aug 9th, 2008, 07:11 AM

you have every right to celebrate your 24 week milestone hunni im gong to!! your not doing anything worng your just happy that your lil one has a chance of survival if anything goes wrong

xx

Aug 7th, 2008, 06:59 AM	#1
wilbrabeany Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,625	I feel a bit upset!!! I've just read a post in the premature babies section about the 24 week celebration threads we post. Now i understand that to any parent who has had a premature baby the threads could be misinterpretted, but i feel really upset that they think we posting coz we want our babies out. I understood the 24 week milestone as a celebration of us mothers to be to get to a point in our pregnancy where we can call our little ones babies as this is now recognised by docs and hospitals but also for all those who've had losses, a small step closer to the 40 week target. And a little well done to each other after 24 weeks of worry, why shouldnt we say well done to each other, yes we should we've done well, still some more to do but pause for a minute and say well done. I just found it really upsetting

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Aug 7th, 2008, 07:10 AM	#2
LauraAlicia Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Warrington, Cheshire Posts: 702	We should celebrate that we have reached the milestone..but i can understand their point of view I wouldnt like to be in the situation where my baby arrived now and was in an incubator as it must be horrible for mothers with premature babies to deal with..dont worry about it though, we never meant to upset them

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Aug 7th, 2008, 07:16 AM	#3
momandpeanut Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: coventry Posts: 3,472	we should definately celebrate our 24 week milestone but of course we dont want our babies out !! Its just another step on our journeys that we want to recognise ! It makes us aware if the worst happened now at least our lo would stand some chance in this world ! My heart goes out to all the women who have babies prem and all the problems that this brings and in no way would i want to upset anyone thinking i was being thoughtless or selfish !

Status: Offline

Aug 7th, 2008, 07:16 AM	#4
GemGems Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Lillingstone Dayrell, Bucks Posts: 999	I agree. We dont mean to upset them. As you say, its a celebration of reaching this precious milestone. We're not saying we want the baby out now, we're simply happy we've reached this far. I can understand how mothers of premmies could get a bit upset about it and i really feel for them, i cant imagine how hard it is. We're sorry if we've offended you Premmie Mummys. Please forgive!

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Aug 7th, 2008, 07:20 AM	#5
wilbrabeany Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,625	Thanks girls i hate to think that i might have upset some parents but wanted to try and explain why we do the posts

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Aug 7th, 2008, 07:26 AM	#6
carries Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,984	i know what you mean Wilbrabeany. I read that thread last week and it actually stopped me from doing my happy dance at 24 weeks...of course we dont want our babies born now and I think everyone is away of the huge risks and consequences if they were born now.

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Aug 9th, 2008, 06:17 AM	#7
PeanutBean Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: Greater Manchester Posts: 18,226	This is bizarre. I haven't read the other thread but based on what you've said here I don't understand why anyone would think that when we are celebrating getting to 24 weeks we are wanting premature babies. That doesn't even make sense. We don't post 'happy dance, yay 24 weeks, lets get the baby out and into an incubator'. We are just happy that if something bad unexpectedly happened our babies would have a fighting chance. Why shouldn't we celebrate our progression through pregnancy?

Status: Offline

Aug 9th, 2008, 06:59 AM	#8
Wobbles Mum (Mom) Administrator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Chester Gal By Heart Posts: 50,081	You have every right to celebrate and feel blessed to reach any milestone if it be scans, trimesters, baby engaging ...I remember realising a loss of a child before 24 weeks was a miscarriage - I was devoed at the thought they didn't see my baby as a life until after that point and if Mummy lost her child before this she was not entitled to have leave from work etc It was so off and sad to read so it was indeed one of my milestones that they now considered my baby life. I would also say 'I want this baby now' thats because I was BIG but let me exaplain in detail ...I meant that in the way of I wish I was further along & it was time I'd never have wished her early although she was 3 weeks early it wasn't tooooo early & I was home less than 24 hours later
	MissG Photography - Family portraits, home or away shoots, bump and baby, wedding, parties ... ANYTHING! Have your moment captured - Contact me for offers only available to BabyandBump members!
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Aug 9th, 2008, 07:10 AM	#9
cheryl Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,414	I just read that post too hun, We don't want to upset them but it is a huge milestone for us to get too. My son was born at 33 weeks and spent 4 weeks in special care and there is no way I would want another premie baby, I want to go to full term, I don't mind if I go past my due date I just want a healthy baby, But I did a post at 24 weeks because it was a big thing for me to get that far, I have done nothing but worry all the way throught this pregnancy and I won't stop worrying til i hold my LO in my arms. But if something was to happen, I know he has a chance of suviving. I admire the ladies who have gone through what they have. But we don't mean to upset them its just a huge milestone for us to reach, like the next one for me will be 27 weeks and reaching the 3rd tri. The same as at 12 weeks the chance of miscarrage goes down its just different stages we get to in our pregnancy's. Luv Cheryl xxx

Status: Offline

Aug 9th, 2008, 07:11 AM	#10
Aidan's Mummy Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Hull Posts: 11,002	you have every right to celebrate your 24 week milestone hunni im gong to!! your not doing anything worng your just happy that your lil one has a chance of survival if anything goes wrong xx

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