I know I am probably opening myself up to get a right going over but here goes......


I really need to be honest because im trying to pretend to everyone and its getting me down....


Since finding out I'm having a girl two days ago I have been so down and not half as excited about this pregnancy now....

I had my heart set on a boy, didn't (naively) consider it to be a girl and cannot picture having a daughter at all....I have never really desired to have a daughter and I just feel horrible.

I know I should be grateful to have a healthy baby whatever the sex and I know that there are women who would kill to be in my position but I have to be honest to how I am feeling. I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS. I want to be happy and excited that I am having a daughter. HOW DO I GET RID OF FEELING LIKE THIS.

Everyone says that I will come round to it but what if I don't???? What if when I have her I don't want her or I don't bond with her.....???

Cos the truth is I cried when I found out....then that night I waited til OH was asleep and cried my eyes out again.....I used to touch my belly all the time and I haven't since finding out....

OH was a bit disappointed but he is fine now and calling us "his girls" but its only me that is the horrible person who isn't happy. Why cant I be happy??

I went on the next sale and bought some girl clothes and a girlie changing mat but it still hasn't made me feel better. I'm really trying so what's wrong with me??

And I feel like this pregnancy isn't that special to my OH cos he already has two girls from previous relationships so this is just same old same old....im no different to any of his other daughter's parents (I hate the term baby mothers!) and it would have been that but more special if the baby was boy.....

I feel so awful...how do I change how im feeling....I haven't even had her yet and I'm a bad mum already! I feel like such a heartless bitch. Please tell me im going to come round and be really happy...

To anyone who gets angry at this posting, especially those who have lost children/babies or had a hard time concieving, I want to stress that i dont want to feel like this and no-one feels as bad as i do about this.

you are not a bad mum, you cant help how you are feeling you are not asking to feel like this hun, my friend tash recently had a baby her 4th boy, she desperatly wanted a girland when she found out he was another boy she was heart broken and had a real hard time coming round to the idea of another boy, and after a while she started to get excited and now she has him she loves him more than anything! i am really worried that i will be dissapointed if they tell me boy as i secretly am wanting a girl as i have a boy already and i dont want to feel like that as i know id love either just as much but its not someting we can control, im sure after you have picked out some names and thought about everything and bought a few more items you will come around to the idea of a little girl, try not to feel down at yourself as that will only make you feel worse, its only been two days since you found out and it was a shock to you so give it more time im sure you will be loving the idea of a daughter very soon, and your OH wont feel like its the same old, this is another baby that is both of yours to love together, just because its the same sex as his other children wont make it any less exciting for him hun xxx

Rach your going to make a brilliant mum, your little girl will love you with all her heart, and i know when you hold her in your arms for the very first time and you look into her eyes, your going to feel so much love.
I know deep down if i have a boy i think i'd feel the same way, it's because you build your hopes up for the one sex you want, i'd love a girl, so to think i may have a boy, does dissapoint me and worry me, but then i know when i give birth i willl be filled with so much love that it will all be forgotten.
Your OH will love this baby no matter if it is another girl, because she is a peice of you, she will have you in her, and he loves you.

Oh hunny we are upset and cross with ones self!
I think what your going through is prob normal! I mean, loads of women have there heart set on a a boy or girl and are a little disappointed when the other arrives, talking about it like you are is important as your expressing yourself and keeping it all bottled up wont help you or your baby!
You saying you wanted a boy, and now having a girl and not sure if you will be able to bond.
Well all i can say is that once the baby is here, your feelings will change. Once you hold your baby daughter you will want to love her, protect her and always be there for her.
I hope it all works out for you, and try not to think that your OH has daughters and yours wont be special as any child is Special.
Hope that helps.
Chin up chick

Hun im sure no one thinks bad of you after reading that ... its not as if your kicking up a fuss and being a spoilt brat about it. It seems to be genuinley worrying you

Im actually glad youve mentioned it so at least everyone on here can give you the support that you obviously need right now!!

I really hope things settle and this feeling goes away hun and you can start to bond with your little princess!!

Hi Rachiebaby,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I can't relate and I'm not sure how much I can help, but I can understand that you had your heart set on a boy. To start with, you need to first get over the shock. I think it would be a good idea to talk to mummies of girls and hear first hand how much joy they get from their little ones.

I'm pretty sure that a lot of you feels like this because your OH has daughters already and not a son - am I right? As much as you love your partner, you must think of your daughter and partner as separate entities. No matter what your relationship with your OH is, your child will always come first - this will come to you in time.

Motherly love does not always come instantly for everyone, it is a bond that forms over time. Yes, you will want to protect her and look after her when you see her, but the bond gets built over time and does not always happen the instant you hold your baby. A lot of women expect to feel instant love and are so disappointed when it doesn't happen imediately.

I also suggest talking to your Health Visitor, Midwife if this does happen after the birth as you don't want to be suffering from PND.

Not sure if that helps to some extent, but do let it sink in and also do talk to your OH, as he needs to assure you that his feelings for you are not impacted by whether it is a boy or girl.


Munchy x

im so sorry to hear your feeling like this, im sure there are other women who have felt the same as you so dont beat yourself up over it you cant help the way you feel!

Its only been two days since youve found out so at the moment your prob still in shock maybe in a few days/ weeks you will get used to the idea, im sure the exictment will soon come

I really hope you feel better about it soon

Im sorry you feel this way !

I carnt relate to what you are feeling but i just wanted to send you a

and say i hope the shock wears off soon and the excitment kicks in xx

Like everyone else said honey, no-one thinks bad of you. You can't help how you feel, and when pregnant with those hormones all over the place it just makes everything SO much worse.

I do think you will bond with her though, I know it might not seem that way to you now but you will, and you will be a wonderful mummy to her. Just remind yourself that it's the same baby you've had in your tummy all along, it's the same baby that you put your hand on before and you can do it again.

I don't think it will matter to your OH that he already has two daughters- each pregnancy is special, and each of his children are just as special!

Once you meet your little girl you will love her and adore her- she'll be the most beautiful baby in the world to you! I do hope this feeling passes for you soon though hun and you can start to enjoy being pregnant again