rafwife

What you're feeling is completely natural and you certainly won't be the first mother to feel this way. I've had two scans now and both have said I'm having a girl and I did cry when I found out because I was so happy. Now I've built the idea up of having a little girl so much in my mind, I'm terrified that someone will take that away from me and tell me at the next scan I'm having a boy.

Of course the only thing that really matters is that your child is healthy, but don't beat yourself up for feeling like you might not bond. It's natural to have some sort of preference and it doesn't make you a bad person. Regardless of the gender, when that baby arrives you will feel a phenomenal amount of love for him.

Jaylene3

I am so sorry you are feeling this way.
Pregnancy, as I have learned quickly, comes with so many emotions that you question.
You will not be a bad mum, you will be amazing. You will have a bond with your daughter that your DH will never have.
It is dissappointing now but when you hold her in your arm she will be your little miracle that you bonded with and nourished for the last 9 months.
take care and we are all here for you.
thank you for being so incredibly honest, it took a lot...I can tell.

xXx Vamp xXx

bambikate

Awww hun, I sure that you will soon bond with her. Thinking of you x x

firstLO

I don't know if this will make you feel any better but my sister only wanted girls. Her first child was a girl so she got her wish there but she discovered her 2nd was a boy and was quite depressed through the rest of her pregnancy. He is now 10 months old and she is absolutely besotted with him and is so pleased she's got him. Sometimes we have our hearts set on something and feel down when we don't get what we want but I'm sure once she's here you will fall in love. Remember as well you can always have more babies and I'm sure you'll get your boy one day.

spelbound

Dont feel bad about it. And nobody is judging you - so feel free to say what you feel you need to say.

In a way its like finding out you are pregnant all over again. I know when my OH found out she cried and cried and cried - even though its what she wanted. Dont be so hard on yourself.

I would ask yourself why you feel this way. Is it that you dont want a girl? Or just that you had set your heart on a boy? Take it from there. Explore it by yourself first then with your OH once you are comfortable talking about it.

As for your other half's feelings. You make it sound like he things of you as second class and that this pregnancy is also so. I really really doubt that honey. And lets face it - he chose to be with you so he clearly thinks you are special. Men dont have children on a whim. Its obv something he has thought about and wants. Just cos he has girls already it wont make this any less special for him.

My OH was concinved she was going to be a bad parent. But she's slowly coming round. Even enjoying the pregnancy now. Dont push yourself - take it one day at a time. Im absolutely certain you will come around. Find the things that bring out your enthusiasm and positive thoughts. For my OH it was retail therapy - buying things for baby and planning the nursery really really helped her. We all have our own switches so I cant tell you what yours are.

jenny873

i had my heart set on a boy but im over the moon i had a girl! wait until your buying all ur clothes!

taperjeangirl

Hiya
When I had my scan last week and the sonographer told me she was a girl, I too had that twang on guilt, as this is going to be my last ever pregnancy and OH had mentioned a few years ago that it would be good to have another boy in the house (why is it us women remember things like that?!! he had forgotten saying it!)
I burst out crying when she said it was a girl and to this day I don't really know if it was tears of joy or slight disappointment. I wanted a girl and OH wanted a boy, simple as that i thought, and I too felt like I had let him down at his last chance to have a baby boy....but was torn between my own want for a girl! This is getting a wee bit confusing I know so I'll finish up by telling you....STOP WORRYING!!!
My OH has done nothing but coo over our scan pics since, and he emailed them to everybody we know, titled "My beautiful baby daughter" Which made me cry! Women everywhere think that men automatically want a son, but nope! He then told me that he was secretly wishing for a girl all along as Daddys girls love their Daddys forever and boys rebel!!!
Just think of your LO as part of you and your OH and there is nothing more special than that! It's amazing, you created this little life that is half of you both.

I really hope you start to feel better about her soon and I'm sorry if this is just a big babbling mess of words but my pregnancy brain just wont engage properly at the mo!!

xarlenex

My aunt and me were pregnant at the same time, I was due 7 weeks before her. She already has 3 girls, and I knew deep down she was dying for a boy. So along came kyle..7 weeks later she has another girl. She too had, had the conversation of "i dont know how I will feel if its a girl" but when she first held her the joy overcame her just the same as the rest of her babies. I think you will know how you really feel when you hold her for the first time xx

cuddles314

Aww honey, I'm so sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. Please stop being so hard on yourself, and you are in no way terrible for thinking/feeling how you do. Our minds are so powerful and if you had imagined yourself to be carrying a boy for all that time, then it's only natural for it to take you some time to adjust to the idea of having a little girl. But you will still be a fab Mum, I'm sure of it. And don't worry about your OH, he sounds like he's just happy bubs is healthy, and he loves you very much, so I'm sure he wouldn't be dissappointed in you hun.
Stay positive babe.
Big hugs for you.
xx