xXDonnaXx

All's I can say is I hope you come round soon. x

leeanne

bumpity

ah hunni,

First of all think about the science behind it - the MAN's chromasomes decide the sex of the baby, so stop beating yourself up about it.

I completely understand how you feel and think it's positive that you are expressing your feelings. I'm not suggesting that you sob your heart out to your OH, but I don't think a discussion about feeling a little taken aback that it's a girl is out of order. After all he loves you and maybe picking up on your feelings already.

Keep an eye on the positives and keep talking xxxx

Rachiebaby24

no....After the scan he asked me why was i crying and i told him that i was disappointed and he said well as long as the baby is healthy anything else is a bonus....he knows im down cos he keeps sending me messages and telling me i love you and hugging me....so now i feel bad that i making him feel bad....

Ema

XxxX

Katharine-ann

Possibly put it all down to hormones...? I no that lately i have been acting so weird about things and i can only put it down to my pregnant state
because I know deep down that i should be happy (and non pregnant me would be happy) But somehow i just cant seem to feel delight in the best things happening in my life (not unhappy about baby, just general stuff)
I really hope it passes for you, just so that you dont drive yourself crazy!

Its easy to say that ones LO arrives you will feel this unconditional love bla bla, its possibly true, i myself havent had any children before so i cant say thats the way women automatically feel, but i imagine it will be

Just hang in there. You'll look back on all this in a few months and say 'wtf?' and laugh at what pregnancy does to your mind!

Rachiebaby24

Thank you girls....I still feel bad but not as bad...I felt like such a wretched horrible mum feeling like this. I hope i start bonding with her soon....

Thank you...i dont know what i would do without you all!!

Angelmouse

Hiya Hon.

I can kinda sympathise with your situation. My Hubby was married twice before me and sometimes it just breaks my heart that there doesn't seem to be anything 'new' and 'special' that we can share together since he's 'been there done that' kinda thing. Fortunately I had my LO which he hadn't had before, however we got married in a solicitors office with no guests, no party, NO DRESS!!! because he's already done it twice and I had once before as well and between us we'd already covered the options. Same thing applies to holidays abroad; He's done it all, been everywhere. I haven't and I get ridiculously jealous and twitchy thinking about how they got what I can't have or, like you, have already been there.

I always end these conversations with myself by saying, "You know what? It can't have been that fucking good or else he'd still be there!" Whilst I appreciate that it's not the same thing I can see where your pain is. Thing is, he loves you or you wouldn't be together and you obviously love him to want to give him the Son he longs for. All that love will channel into your baby, girl or boy, and eventually you'll stop feeling guilty for something beyond your control and begin to enjoy your child.

You should also remember that you can have another baby but you cannot change the one that your growing right now and that no matter what he had in the past, this baby, the one that you and he have made, will be the most precious thing in his world and yours.

Love and Hugs Honey, Hold Tight yeah!

Cat X

cara1974

I was convinced my husband wanted a little girl - in my opinion to make up for the daughter he already has but he never gets to see. We didn't find out the sex and when we had a boy I was convinced he'd be gutted and not bond etc etc. (and I wanted a girl too really simply so I could buy purple things! go figure) And I felt I'd failed him in some way and my self esteem plummeted. Looking back now I know it was ridiculous to feel that way - I was letting my assumptions of what I thought my husband was thinking rule my emotions and stopped me bonding with our baby.

But neither of us can imagine anything else now - they come into their own right and you love them for them - not what sex they are. You just can't help it!

Naturally with baby number 2 we are 'fingers crossing' for a girl so we can have one of each but it feels like another boy tbh.

Incidently, my sister in law's sister was told she was having a girl. She got pink clothes and a pink buggy etc etc. And she had a boy! She even told the doctor she didn't want him and to take him back!!!! (probably the shock) but now she's crazy about him.

PS: your man sounds fabulous and really supportive and a total sweetheart. Communication is the key - some advice I should take myself ;o)

PeanutBean

Oh ditto to what the others have said. No-one thinks you are a horrible person and we know you'll be a great Mum. Don't blame yourself that you haven't given him what he wants - he's not Henry VIII! He clearly loves you both dearly. And for sure when she's born you will bond just as much as if she were a boy. It will be so special this amazing new person that you and your OH have created together, what could be newer than that? Every day you spend with you Oh and later as a family will be a new and exciting one, don't compare yourself to his past.