rafwife

Right this is going to be complicated!

Every man and his dog knows about my pregnancy except my parents.

Now, my parents are evil. I'm not exaggerating either. My mother is the spawn of the devil. In fact, I have never met anyone as deceitful, narrow minded and manipulative as her. I don't speak to either of my parents, though in general I don't mind my father.

My mother is the one who started the feud and not speaking, she didn't ring for ages and never returned my calls, then refused to acknowledge my Birthday and Anniversary. She knew forgetting my Birthday was the best way to hurt me, as my Dad forgot previously and she saw how much it broke my heart.

I have two siblings at home, one of whom, my sister, is due to come and live with OH and I next month because she cannot go on living with my emotionally abusive mother. (Parents are divorced - Dad was smart and got out quick) My mother, on finding this out, threw my sister out and then tried emotional blackmail. Saying things like my OH and I didn't want her there and she would be a burden. My sister is very, very sensitive and has phoned me in tears over this.

Now, if I tell my nasty mother that I am pregnant, all hell will break loose. Not only does she hate my OH and constantly say we'll get divorced but she also said when I was 19 that i should get steralised as I would be a terrible mother. When I WAS speaking to her last year, she constantly brought up the fact that 'I better not do anything stupid like getting pregnant'. Even though I am a lovely person who has a lot going for them. I even have to take care of her own kids because she's such an unfit mother.

So, I've been holding off telling the witch until my sister moves down as I don't want to put my sister is a really awkward position. However, by that point I will be 5 months. My family (not just the witch) would be seething that I left it so long to tell them, and I would honestly hear about it for the rest of my life because they never let ANYTHING go.

So, when to tell them and most importantly how to tell them?


As an extra note, my in laws don't want my mother to know nor do they want her having anything to do with my child. I don't feel that I could do that though.

Ria_Rose

Oh sweetie, I think you said something about your Mum before.

I really can't believe a Mother could do that to her daughter. Let alone say such deliberatly nasty things. I can't understand why anyone would go out of their way to tell someone that they are going to be a bad mother? Even if you really did think that about someone you wouldn't ever say it out loud. So I can only assume that its just her own insecurities about being a bad mother.

I really admire the way you can recognise that her opinion of you is flawed, and recognise all the good qualities about yourself that she seems to have failed to appreciate.

You don't have to tell her. Can't you just tell other family member and let her find out throgh someone else? What's the worst she could do - no talk to you?

If you really feel the need to tell her directly, maybe do it on the phone, but keep it short and matter of fact, keep control of the conversation and call it short before she can shower any negativeity on your fantastic news

Good luck sweetie with whatever you decide.

xXx Vamp xXx

stuck between a rock and a hard place huh hun?

I think that no matter when you tell her she will cause problems for your sister, she sounds like she's that kind of mother. =( as for what she's said about you're never going to be a good mother... how dare she. She hardly sounds like she acts like a mother herself

I just wanted to give you a hug

Shri

Hun, does your sister know you are pg? In which case, has she not told your mother.

I don't see that you have any obligation to tell your mother. How old is your sister?

I suppose it all depends on being able to predict which might cause the least amount of trouble, to tell your mother or not tell her. But right now, your baby is the most vulnerable person in this situation and that is who you have to protect over and above everyone else. I think if there was no reason to have much contact with your mother, I would not tell her anything. Why worry about her stirring up trouble and stressing you while you are pregnant?
If she is already trying to do that because of your little sister coming to live with you, then don't give her any more fuel for her twisted fire.

So sorry you are in this horrible situation. I hope you are feeling ok in yourself. You certainly are going to be a wonderful mother.

carries

What a horrible situation! I would think of it this way, tell those who are going to be positive and supportive. Everyone else can bugger off! If there are family members who would be pleased for you, then tell them. THe ones who would be horrible dont deserve your respect by you choosing to share this wonderful news with them. Let them find out through the grapevine and if they dont speak to you...better for you I say!

wilbrabeany

I would tell your siblings first and your dad who i'm sure will be pleased for you which may give you enough confidence to tell your mum. At the end of the day theres not much she can do about it so she'd be cutting her nose off to spite her face if she didn't speak to you. Good luck.xx

Emsi76

I say, tell everyone else and let the old witch find out that way!!!

Blob

Hmmm.. i think i would just tell the people you want to know and let someone else tell her, you have no need to tell her and if you dont want her involved anyway then does it really matter? I cant believe anyone could do that to their child but i'm sure the other members of your family will understand if you explain your reasons. sounds like a horible place to be, you must be very strong.