My big scan is on Tuesday, and I'm so excited about it. I'm really hoping to find out the sex of the baby. However, MIL put a bit of a downer on it when I mentioned to her that I wanted to know. "why do you want to ruin the surprise?" she said, and I tried to explain that I didn't think it would, and why is it any less a surprise finding out at the scan blah blah blah...she still didn't understand and to make it worse, DH doesn't want to know either so he kind of took her side Anyway, DH was talking to her on the phone last night and she told him she didn't want us to tell her and apparently SIL has jumped on the bandwagon now too and she also doesn't want to be told. I feel like I'm being ganged up on. DH would prefer not to know, but he knows that I do so he's decided that he doesn't mind knowing. But how am I supposed to keep it a secret from people? Am I not supposed to talk to MIL and SIL about the baby until its born? Because once I know, I'm bound to refer to baby as him or her. And also, I won't be allowed to tell them or show them what I've bought for the baby etc. It's gonna make it all so hard. I feel like they're being unfair, after all, it's me who's having this baby. I don't want to have to watch what I'm saying for the next 4 and a half months. It's getting me down, I almost feel as if I'm going to have to hide the rest of my pregnancy from them Am I being unreasonable?

Sorry for the rant

Tough....

I would say Hi - its a .....AND SAY WHAT IT IS! What can they do about it! Its your baby!

That's what I was thinking, I got quite upset about it last night and told DH that I was just gonna tell them to save all the worry about spilling the beans.

I agree. It's your baby - not theres and I'd just tell them what your having too.

I think it's just as much of a suprise to find out at the scan and then you can prepare more for when they're born.

Thats really unfair my mil was the same all why spoilt the surprise and all oh family were the same but luckily hubby agreed with me and wanted to find out what it was. The more people tell me not to find out the more I want to just so I can look forward to meeting him or her. They shouldnt stress you out about this and should let you enjoy your pergancy the way you want to whether you find out or not.

They're being unreasonable hun not you!! Its YOUR baby and YOUR pregnancy and to be honest they need to learn to accept and deal with any decisions that you make regarding your own child!
My Mum and MIL-to-be would have rather waited and found out at the birth what I'm having but I was straight down the line with them and said 'we want to know so we're going to find out, sorry!' They both accepted this and are really excited knowing they're going to have a little grand daughter soon!!

Don't let them get you down x

That is really unfair! All of OH's family didnt want to know but all of mine did so we were in a similar situation but luckily, when we went to MIL's house after the scan, she really suprised me and actually asked what we were having after saying for 4 months that she definitely didnt want to know!

I would just blurt it out! Why should you have to tip toe around them - its your baby, so your decision!

xx

I agree with the others. I definitely think its your body and your baby and if you want to tell people the sex then that's your decision not theirs and they just have to put up with it.

My mother was the same, preferring not to know if I do find out, but I pointed out to her that it just isn't her decision to make if I decide to make itpublic or not and that I was sure she'd rather find out from me than some random person who'd seen it on facebook. Having said that though, OH and I have decided that if we do find out we're going to keep it our secret until the birth - will make it more sepcial that way, but who knows if we'll let it slip.

i would get a pregnancy shirt with "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" and say well i didn't say anything......

good idea!