Pregnancy - Second Trimester

7WZ · May 19th, 2008, 05:22 AM

As I had posted before about discharge I had been getting since Friday really bad and suffering from bad period like pains all week. Well they both got worse since friday and continued to get worse. I was in so much pain I went to emergency doctor and he said I had a classic water infection. So I came home took some painkillers, anti-biotics and had hot water bottle but it got so bad I just couldn't breathe properly and was in so much pain. My mum rang for an ambulance. They were asking questions whilst I was crying with pain and then got in the ambulance they asked more questions. I felt as though I couldn't sit down. It hurt so much I just needed to stand up. When I stood up. GUSH, all this water came out and I could feel something inbetween my legs. I still had my pants on. It was 3 male paramedics so they didn't really know what to do. They took my to hospital. I told the midwife that I felt it all come away from me. 2 midwives took my trousers and underwear off and saw the babys body outside of me. I had to give a lil push for the rest of the body to come out then a little bit more of a push but harder for the head to come out. I could feel it was hard and heavy :'(
Then she explained that I had lost the baby and I needed to deliver the placenta. She had to feel where the placenta was, that hurt so much! I gave a few hard pushes for all that to come out. She asked if I wanted to hold the baby and not to be scared because they were dead and small. I said I wanted to hold and see him. Yes, it was a boy. We have name him Logan, Logan russell. I then got put into another room which I had loads of bloods taken and they asked me about what I would want to do with Logan. My parents came and they stayed for abit. We all looked at logan he was so small but long. 20.5cm long. 6oz in weight. 14cm head. He had little toenails aswell, I could feel them. My mum gave him a kiss goodbye and they went home. Me and OH were left with Logan for a while we were just looking at him and crying, he looked fine. The midwife said they couldn't find anything wrong with him. I knew there was nothing wrong with him, I had felt him move not long before he was born. They said there was nothing wrong with me and they don't know why it happened. They are sending off the placenta for testing to see if there was infection. They said there would be no reason that they could see that I wouldnt be able to go on to have a healthy baby.

I have little hand and footprints and they made me a rememberance box with a lil teddy. I have the midwife coming to visit me tomorrow, well today. I'm really not up to it. I just want to bury myself away for a while. We had Logan blessed so he will go to heaven. Even though I am not religious in myself, my mother is and I would want Logan to be with her mum. I am having pictures of him developed which my dad will pick up for me from the hospital when they're done. I don't know when I want to try concieve again. I just feel very drained. I'm put off sex for a while I think anyway. I have tried so hard not to cry infront of people. But when my OH went to sleep I cried so hard. I can't believe it's happened. I was asked to stay over all night but hearing all the other babies just made it harder.

Even though it is hard because I had a normal pregnancy and this happened all of a sudden. I am still happy for all of you and hope you get to enjoy your little bundles and hope the keep fighting.

Moraine · May 19th, 2008, 05:34 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss sweetie. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

leeanne · May 19th, 2008, 05:37 AM

OMG, hon I am at a loss for words! Please take care of yourself and my thoughts are with you.

alyxzandra · May 19th, 2008, 06:05 AM

Oh, how terrible for you! I feel so bad that this happened. I saw your posting about the discharge and hoped all was well. I am at a loss for words and can only offer you a lot of

ani · May 19th, 2008, 06:07 AM

I am crying right there with you.
There is nothing we can say to you to make it better, but just know that people are thinking of you. I'll send you my thoughts from across the world and strenght to get you through the most difficult first few days.

I am glad you got to meet Logan. He will always be a part of you.

Try to hang on and take care of yourself. And let others take care of you.

Ann-Marie · May 19th, 2008, 06:33 AM

Oh sweetheart !!! I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, but please know, my thoughts are with you, and Bless your little Angel, your nan will look after him.

So so so sorry