I found an msn message history from my OH from a bit before we met into the early days when we were still just dating.

It was to a girl that he used to go out with but a few years before but she still held a torch for him.

The erm messages were getting a little raunchy and at the extreme end of flirtatious to say the least. I know I shouldn't have read it and it was from years ago but it was like a kick in the stomach and I instantly burst into tears.

I confrunted him as he was concerned why I was so upset. He just said that he was wrong to do it but it was years ago.

The thing is that this girl is someone that he used to stay with when he went down to see his parents, in her bed. At the time I had complete trust in him and didn't mind this but now I'm wondering if my trust was misplaced.

We've had a couple of arguments over it and I keep getting upset now. Am I being a hormonal pregnant woman blowing this out of proportion? Or am I right to want answers depite the fact that it happened a while ago and we're now engaged with a baby on the way and he doesn't keep in contact with this girl at all

Personally I would just leave it now, esp as the messages where years ago and he no longer has any contact with this girl anymore.

Dont dwell on the past hun, just keep looking forward to your baby and your family

well i can totally see where your coming from, id be furious too and being pregnancy definatley does add to that paronoid feeling.

but because it was a long time ago, and your pregnant and engaged id advise you to let it go, because you dont need that kind of stress. if shes out of his life you dont need to worry xx

Try not to think to much about it hun. Reading it like that has made it seem like it happened only yesterday but it didn't. It was years ago. If you didn't have your baby brain on you wouldn't have even let it affect you. Delete the messages and look forward to your baby xxx

I agree with the other girls. Its awful for you hun and if it happened to me I would be devastated. However, if this girl means nothing to either of you now, then why waste your precious energy on her, when you are growing your baby. You've had the greatest revenge on her anyway- Of the two of you, you're the one he chose to build his future with. I'm not trying to sugar coat it, its upsetting but you can move forward from this. Men being men it was probably nothing more than an ego boost for him to get some saucy messages. He's undoubtedly grown up now, but as long as he's clear that its not acceptable and that you're only letting it go cos its in the past.

Big big hugs xx

honey as much as people will say forget about it, and normally you probably would be able to easily, with these added pregnancy hormones I can see why your upset, I just nearly burst into tears coz my hubby said he would have to work a few hours tomorrow lol. Just talk things through, its not something worth really falling out over, explain it was a shock to find this conversation and as long as he is sorry and nothing more happened, you can work through it xx good luck xx

Sorry double post! X

i can understand how you feel hun but theres no point in torturing yourself, it was years ago and you will never no, no matter what dh says so just try to concentrate on the here and now xxx

a few years ago, i found out that when my boyfriend & i started dating, he was in contact with a girl he had a brief thing with a few months before, & it killed me knowing he was flirting with her. it took me an age to get over it, we went through a good 6 months of constant arguing about it, me feeling insecure, him angry because i'd read these emails. everyone kept telling me that he'd chosen me, so not to let it get me down. ultimately, it was something i could only get over in my time, but i've no doubt these days that it didn't really mean anything. if he hadn't wanted to be with me, we would have split up a long time ago, whether she was on the scene or not.
*hugs*
look after you.
xx

Thanks ladies, you've been a big help.

Deep down I know it's not rational and he keeps reminding me that he adores me and is so happy about our little family.

I guess I'm just feeling vulnerable. At the end of the day I have a past and so does he but we are settled now together for good.

Damn these hormones! lol