mam taking over - am i been ungrateful

starangel27 · Mar 11th, 2010, 03:49 AM

hi

i dont know if this sounds ungrateful but when i got home from work last night a mothers day card had came in the post for me it was really nice and saying it was from bump. But this has really annoyed my boyfriend as my mam has sent it and he is right in saying that its not really her place its his and he had already got me a card ready to give me on sunday and now she has ruined this really.
I have told her things like that are up to my boyfriend to do but i dont think she realises what the problem is. can anyone else relate to this? am i been unreasonable?

xx

Lellow · Mar 11th, 2010, 03:55 AM

I think it was a very sweet gesture actually and whats wrong with getting 2 cards? Doesnt make your boyfriends card any less special does it?

Your very lucky hun - I guess all you can do now is perhaps mention that perhaps in future things like that should be left to the boyfriend but i guess on this occassion you should just say thank you and get past it....she is your mum after all and will ALWAYS be around for you.

Adela Quested · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:07 AM

To be perfectly honest - I think it's really sweet too and I also don't see a problem with getting 2 cards. I don't think it's been 'ruined' for your boyfriend at all.

The fact is that we all know the card is really from your mother or boyfriend, not from the baby. So what the card is is a gesture from your mum saying that you're pregnant, it's your first mother's day, and she loves you! It's the thought that counts.

Also, if she wanted to send you a card, she couldn't really sign it "Mam" as it would be a bit odd on a Mother's Day card - it has to be signed from the baby, even though you know it's from her.

I'm not saying you are wrong, just saying that my opinion is that it's really sweet and you are lucky to be expecting two cards from two people who love you so much!

ohmygod · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:16 AM

Sorry but I agree...

I think you should think yourself lucky to be surrounded by two people who obviously love you and LO so much.

sjminimac · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:21 AM

I have a bump card from my hubby's grandma, and I think it's a lovely idea.

What we don't know here is if there's any background or underlying reasons why the OP might be getting fed up with people taking over - could it be the latest in a long line? I don't know.

Hugs anyway x

starangel27 · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:26 AM

ogh god maybe i am an ungrateful cow then

i just feel like straight after the 12 week scan we said we cudnt wait 2 buy the first thing for the baby when we had a day off work and within hours mam had bought loads of stuff i just feel like its getting took over a little bit thats all.
i mean when we have the baby next year is she still going to continue to get me a card from the baby? i just dont really think its her place to do so but looks like im the only one thats thinks this way.

ohmygod · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:33 AM

If you feel strongly about it you need to speak to her and let you know that you appreciate her involovement but you want to buy and chose your own things...

Maybe you go shopping with her an you OH and she just foots the bill?

I am sure no one thinks you are ungrateful, it is just everyone on her is in difference situations. I know from personal experience, I would welcome anything that anyone buys for our little one as it will help us to afford it all, may be finanically you dont need any help... also, I know my mum would love to help and buy things but she does not have enough money herself.

sjminimac · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:36 AM

I agree with you for going forward - it's your OH's job! I just think she's excited this time becasue it's your first mothers day. And I also don't think you're ungrateful xx

MilitaryMummy · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:43 AM

Hey hun, trust me your mum is not the only one!
My mum was buying so so much before me and my DH could even get close.
I am so gratful for eveything that people are buying us and my DH has been layed off work just recently and funds arn't fantastic now. lol.
I don't think you are being ungrateful, but i have to agree with others about the card idea being really sweet!
If you're not happy just speak to your mum! I'm sure she would understand! xx

ttcbambino#1 · Mar 11th, 2010, 04:46 AM

My hubby would probably be a bit put out too if I'm really honest as I know he sees it as his special role to do things like that, and I know he's got me a bump card for sunday, which I found but I'm keeping quiet about knowing! I got one from bump for my mum as we've always been encouraged to send our nan a card on mothers day too, so wanted to keep up the tradition. She's obviously super excited, but I do think there are things that we should reserve just for our OH's as they kinda get a bit left out and I found I'm even closer than before to my mum at the moment and I think my hubby can be a bit like 'what about me' so I can see it from both points of view, you're not ungreatful at all hun, just sometimes there are things you want to keep for you and OH and I think thats totally acceptable x

Mar 11th, 2010, 03:49 AM	#1
starangel27 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Durham Posts: 667	mam taking over - am i been ungrateful hi i dont know if this sounds ungrateful but when i got home from work last night a mothers day card had came in the post for me it was really nice and saying it was from bump. But this has really annoyed my boyfriend as my mam has sent it and he is right in saying that its not really her place its his and he had already got me a card ready to give me on sunday and now she has ruined this really. I have told her things like that are up to my boyfriend to do but i dont think she realises what the problem is. can anyone else relate to this? am i been unreasonable? xx

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 03:55 AM	#2
Lellow Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: UK Posts: 8,647	I think it was a very sweet gesture actually and whats wrong with getting 2 cards? Doesnt make your boyfriends card any less special does it? Your very lucky hun - I guess all you can do now is perhaps mention that perhaps in future things like that should be left to the boyfriend but i guess on this occassion you should just say thank you and get past it....she is your mum after all and will ALWAYS be around for you.

Status: Online

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:07 AM	#3
Adela Quested Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands Posts: 1,155	To be perfectly honest - I think it's really sweet too and I also don't see a problem with getting 2 cards. I don't think it's been 'ruined' for your boyfriend at all. The fact is that we all know the card is really from your mother or boyfriend, not from the baby. So what the card is is a gesture from your mum saying that you're pregnant, it's your first mother's day, and she loves you! It's the thought that counts. Also, if she wanted to send you a card, she couldn't really sign it "Mam" as it would be a bit odd on a Mother's Day card - it has to be signed from the baby, even though you know it's from her. I'm not saying you are wrong, just saying that my opinion is that it's really sweet and you are lucky to be expecting two cards from two people who love you so much!

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:16 AM	#4
ohmygod Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bristol Posts: 171	Sorry but I agree... I think you should think yourself lucky to be surrounded by two people who obviously love you and LO so much.

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:21 AM	#5
sjminimac Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Wrong side of t'hill Posts: 4,033	I have a bump card from my hubby's grandma, and I think it's a lovely idea. What we don't know here is if there's any background or underlying reasons why the OP might be getting fed up with people taking over - could it be the latest in a long line? I don't know. Hugs anyway x

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:26 AM	#6
starangel27 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Durham Posts: 667	ogh god maybe i am an ungrateful cow then i just feel like straight after the 12 week scan we said we cudnt wait 2 buy the first thing for the baby when we had a day off work and within hours mam had bought loads of stuff i just feel like its getting took over a little bit thats all. i mean when we have the baby next year is she still going to continue to get me a card from the baby? i just dont really think its her place to do so but looks like im the only one thats thinks this way.

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:33 AM	#7
ohmygod Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bristol Posts: 171	If you feel strongly about it you need to speak to her and let you know that you appreciate her involovement but you want to buy and chose your own things... Maybe you go shopping with her an you OH and she just foots the bill? I am sure no one thinks you are ungrateful, it is just everyone on her is in difference situations. I know from personal experience, I would welcome anything that anyone buys for our little one as it will help us to afford it all, may be finanically you dont need any help... also, I know my mum would love to help and buy things but she does not have enough money herself.

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:36 AM	#8
sjminimac Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Wrong side of t'hill Posts: 4,033	I agree with you for going forward - it's your OH's job! I just think she's excited this time becasue it's your first mothers day. And I also don't think you're ungrateful xx

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:43 AM	#9
MilitaryMummy Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Uxbridge UK Posts: 1,035	Hey hun, trust me your mum is not the only one! My mum was buying so so much before me and my DH could even get close. I am so gratful for eveything that people are buying us and my DH has been layed off work just recently and funds arn't fantastic now. lol. I don't think you are being ungrateful, but i have to agree with others about the card idea being really sweet! If you're not happy just speak to your mum! I'm sure she would understand! xx

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2010, 04:46 AM	#10
ttcbambino#1 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: kent Posts: 696	My hubby would probably be a bit put out too if I'm really honest as I know he sees it as his special role to do things like that, and I know he's got me a bump card for sunday, which I found but I'm keeping quiet about knowing! I got one from bump for my mum as we've always been encouraged to send our nan a card on mothers day too, so wanted to keep up the tradition. She's obviously super excited, but I do think there are things that we should reserve just for our OH's as they kinda get a bit left out and I found I'm even closer than before to my mum at the moment and I think my hubby can be a bit like 'what about me' so I can see it from both points of view, you're not ungreatful at all hun, just sometimes there are things you want to keep for you and OH and I think thats totally acceptable x

Status: Offline

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