In a bit of a dilemma here as I don't want to sound too awful as I really do like my MIL, and my hubby obviously thinks the world of her, but here goes:

My MIL lives about an hour away from us, and she has had a very close relationship with her 3 grandkids from her daughter (my hubbys sister) who are aged 4, 17 and 18. She has had a very hands on role with her daughters kids as she lives just around the corner, and her daughter has always carried on with her busy career. She sees herself as a kind of 2nd mum to them. Anyway, the issue is, everyone calls her 'Muv' - her grandkids, and her son in law, and pretty much everyone in the family knows that she is known as Muv to all the kids in the family. As she lives on her own and as she has always played a very active '2nd mum' role with everyone, she kind of sees herself as the 'Mother' of the family, or the head of the family. Also, she is referred to as 'Mrs (our surname) Senior' and I am 'Mrs (our surname) Junior'. I think my husband calls her this to indulge her a bit, and make her feel a bit special, but I'm starting to think ' hang on a minute' - the way I feel is, within my family (i.e. me, my husband, and our baby), I am the woman! No one else is going to be head woman in my family but me, thanks very much.

It's never bothered me before but I've just started thinking about our first baby calling her Muv too, as it goes without saying that this is what she will be called (or so she thinks). As far as I'm concerned, Muv is an abbreviation of Muvva (Mother), and my child only has ONE mother - ME! She is a grandparent, and therefore should be called something like Grandma/Granny/Nanny/Nana etc, or anything else that symbolises Grandparent, not MOTHER.

I'm getting really riled just thinking about this. I've left it for a few days just in case I was being hormonal/over reacting, but I still feel the same so I'm going to talk to hubby about it tonight. My hubby is absolutely great and I know he won't want anything to upset me, so I'm predicting that he will see my point of view (fingers crossed) and do anything to keep me happy - however I also know he won't want to upset his mum, and I know (and he will know) that telling her she won't be called Muv will upset her, and probably stir up a hornets nest within the family.

I know that this will p1ss her off, and as she is quite domineering/likes to be in control, I reckon she will try and fight it.

Any advice? What do you ladies think?

Thanks so much for any advice xx

at the end of the day its your baby and your the only one that she/he should be calling mum/mother... i no my baby will only be having one mother and you dont want to confuse your bubs xxx

Exactly Wiganlass, I only want him using the word Mum/Mamma/etc to me. Thank you xx

Well, what I'd do since you are an hour away, is when your little guy is born whenever you talk about her call her grandma, or whatever it is you want her to go by. And as he gets older he'll decide what he likes better.

When I was young, I guess my parents wanted me to call my grandparents, Grandmother and Grandfather. But seems it didn't stick, so it's grandma and grandpa. BUT that can be quite different for you cause well, mine did also live right down the street and I'd stay with my cousins a lot who called them grandma and grandpa.

So I guess just teach him what you want him to call her, and for all you know when he's there he'll call her Muv and when he's home he'll call her grandma.

That's bit of a joke that she is expecting to be called that, you didn't mention she has said anything but she obviously does from what you've said about the other grandkids, my kids would never call my parents and in laws anything but the usual grandparent names and they could get stuffed if they thought otherwise!

Stand your ground!!

no worries your bubs should only be calling you mummy not anyone else as your his/her mum and you oh's mum will be grandma xxxx

explain that he wont be seeing and relying on her as a mother and therefore should call her a granny name....i think ur mil likes the power feeling of being head of the family tho lol
xxx

I wouldnt like it either, all you can do it explain to hubby and hope he speaks to her as its his mum and all! x

No I wouldn't like it either. We are the Mummy/Mum. They are the Granny/Grandma/Nanny.

Lol @ "Muv" though sounds a bit like "Muff" to me

Haha it just sounds really horrible and common to me!!

But yeah to me it sounds like wanting to be head of the family too