Mother in Law wants my baby to call her Mother! - Page 2

mommy-in-june · Mar 10th, 2010, 14:44 PM

I think you, as the mother of the child, get to decide if it's ok if your child refers to anyone else as "muv" or "mom". That would definitely bother me. I would be calm, but firm, about your decision, and don't let her get all riled/create a rift. I also wouldn't stress about this too much - you are the mommy, and should be confident in whatever you decide is best for you and your child!

Drazic<3 · Mar 10th, 2010, 14:56 PM

I wouldn't want that either hunny. I would talk to OH and sound it out with him, let him know how you feel and see how he reacts

Linz88 · Mar 10th, 2010, 14:58 PM

defo not.. only person to be called mom, mum, mother, mam is u

FLSG · Mar 10th, 2010, 15:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katzone

No I wouldn't like it either. We are the Mummy/Mum. They are the Granny/Grandma/Nanny.

Lol @ "Muv" though sounds a bit like "Muff" to me

ha ha MUFF! Never thought of that! :-) Made me chuckle xxx

FLSG · Mar 10th, 2010, 15:08 PM

Thanks all for your responses. Well, seems like I had my knickers in a twist for no reason - hubby just got in and I calmly asked him what his mum would be expecting to be called, and he said 'well it's our decision what she's called by baby, not hers, and she needs to realise that decisions about baby are ours - plus I want our son to call her Grandma not Muv'. Phew!!! So I said 'good, as I don't want her to be called Muv, but obviously I don't want to upset her', and he reassured me that he agrees with me totally and if it upsets her then it's tuff! So that's a relief, I've not upset him and we can tell her and enforce it together!

Thanks ladies xxx

wiganlass · Mar 10th, 2010, 15:23 PM

no worries hun glad we could help xxxx

Zo23 · Mar 10th, 2010, 16:25 PM

This sounds like a dilemma from a movie. I think I agree with the all of the advice you've been given on this thread. You can always keep your fingers crossed that your child will make up their own name...my husband called his grandparents MeMa and BeBoo...mostly because it had the same amount of syllables. I called my step-grandpa (named Peter) Peeper...and still do.

shorman · Mar 10th, 2010, 17:34 PM

Oh my goodness i would tell her no and if she doesnt like it tough! if she want to see her grandchild in my opinion she should back down and realise like you said you are the only mother.xx

Pretty Pistol · Mar 10th, 2010, 17:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FLSG

In a bit of a dilemma here as I don't want to sound too awful as I really do like my MIL, and my hubby obviously thinks the world of her, but here goes:

My MIL lives about an hour away from us, and she has had a very close relationship with her 3 grandkids from her daughter (my hubbys sister) who are aged 4, 17 and 18. She has had a very hands on role with her daughters kids as she lives just around the corner, and her daughter has always carried on with her busy career. She sees herself as a kind of 2nd mum to them. Anyway, the issue is, everyone calls her 'Muv' - her grandkids, and her son in law, and pretty much everyone in the family knows that she is known as Muv to all the kids in the family. As she lives on her own and as she has always played a very active '2nd mum' role with everyone, she kind of sees herself as the 'Mother' of the family, or the head of the family. Also, she is referred to as 'Mrs (our surname) Senior' and I am 'Mrs (our surname) Junior'. I think my husband calls her this to indulge her a bit, and make her feel a bit special, but I'm starting to think ' hang on a minute' - the way I feel is, within my family (i.e. me, my husband, and our baby), I am the woman! No one else is going to be head woman in my family but me, thanks very much.

It's never bothered me before but I've just started thinking about our first baby calling her Muv too, as it goes without saying that this is what she will be called (or so she thinks). As far as I'm concerned, Muv is an abbreviation of Muvva (Mother), and my child only has ONE mother - ME! She is a grandparent, and therefore should be called something like Grandma/Granny/Nanny/Nana etc, or anything else that symbolises Grandparent, not MOTHER.

I'm getting really riled just thinking about this. I've left it for a few days just in case I was being hormonal/over reacting, but I still feel the same so I'm going to talk to hubby about it tonight. My hubby is absolutely great and I know he won't want anything to upset me, so I'm predicting that he will see my point of view (fingers crossed) and do anything to keep me happy - however I also know he won't want to upset his mum, and I know (and he will know) that telling her she won't be called Muv will upset her, and probably stir up a hornets nest within the family.

I know that this will p1ss her off, and as she is quite domineering/likes to be in control, I reckon she will try and fight it.

Any advice? What do you ladies think?

Thanks so much for any advice xx

Your kid your rules stand up for yourself or you will never be able too.. shes already sounding a bit nutty... My mil wants our son to call her by her first name.... not going to happen.. shes nany, memas, or grandma don't care if she likes it or not...My kid is not calling her by her first name.. period

Beltane · Mar 10th, 2010, 17:51 PM

You need to stand your ground. I would be offended if my child called someone else anything close to the word Mom. Let her be angry - she'll get over it!

Mar 10th, 2010, 14:44 PM	#11
mommy-in-june Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 1,171	I think you, as the mother of the child, get to decide if it's ok if your child refers to anyone else as "muv" or "mom". That would definitely bother me. I would be calm, but firm, about your decision, and don't let her get all riled/create a rift. I also wouldn't stress about this too much - you are the mommy, and should be confident in whatever you decide is best for you and your child!

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2010, 14:56 PM	#12
Drazic<3 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Norfolk, England. Posts: 9,295	I wouldn't want that either hunny. I would talk to OH and sound it out with him, let him know how you feel and see how he reacts

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Mar 10th, 2010, 14:58 PM	#13
Linz88 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: West Brom\Bham, Uk Posts: 1,679	defo not.. only person to be called mom, mum, mother, mam is u

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Mar 10th, 2010, 15:08 PM	#15
FLSG Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 387	Thanks all for your responses. Well, seems like I had my knickers in a twist for no reason - hubby just got in and I calmly asked him what his mum would be expecting to be called, and he said 'well it's our decision what she's called by baby, not hers, and she needs to realise that decisions about baby are ours - plus I want our son to call her Grandma not Muv'. Phew!!! So I said 'good, as I don't want her to be called Muv, but obviously I don't want to upset her', and he reassured me that he agrees with me totally and if it upsets her then it's tuff! So that's a relief, I've not upset him and we can tell her and enforce it together! Thanks ladies xxx

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2010, 15:23 PM	#16
wiganlass Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,075	no worries hun glad we could help xxxx

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Mar 10th, 2010, 16:25 PM	#17
Zo23 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 206	This sounds like a dilemma from a movie. I think I agree with the all of the advice you've been given on this thread. You can always keep your fingers crossed that your child will make up their own name...my husband called his grandparents MeMa and BeBoo...mostly because it had the same amount of syllables. I called my step-grandpa (named Peter) Peeper...and still do.

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2010, 17:34 PM	#18
shorman Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Somerset Posts: 769	Oh my goodness i would tell her no and if she doesnt like it tough! if she want to see her grandchild in my opinion she should back down and realise like you said you are the only mother.xx

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Mar 10th, 2010, 17:51 PM	#20
Beltane Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 4,384	You need to stand your ground. I would be offended if my child called someone else anything close to the word Mom. Let her be angry - she'll get over it!

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