So, for any of you who didn’t see my “I’m embarrassed..TMI” thread- this is the butt end (pun intended) of that angst over the perianal polyp.
My family doc had referred me to an OB to have it removed, even though it’s kind of out of their territory so to speak. Not wanting to ever face this person again, I purposely chose an OB who does not work with my midwives. Had my appt. yesterday, and I just have to share. First off, after watching me cross the waiting room, weighing me, taking my height, and talking with me for a few minutes, the nurse refers to her BMI chart and writes on my chart that my BMI is 36 and in the morbidly obese category. I didn’t say anything, but I was sitting their appalled that they would keep track of the BMI of a pregnant chick! She then sounded shocked when she asked, “You haven’t had a period since October 27, 2007.” “Nooooo” I answered somewhat sarcastically. “What are you doing for birth control” she asks equally sarcastically. “Pregnancy” I state matter of factly. She writes something in my chart, takes my BP and a few other things, then opens my chart and refers to the note about why I am there. She then says in a tone of shock “Oh! Your pregnant?” “Ya think” is my response
Clearly to her I just look fat, not pregnant. So this was not the way I wanted to start an appt. I’ve been dreading anyway
So she gets me in the exam room, and after another thread on here about imagining good looking OB’s in bed...I was praying he would be some 90 year old, wrinkling, curmudgeon of a guy. Of course, my luck, in walks this young, very good looking doc. I’m sure he caught my eye roll. I explained that I have this polyp “back there” and that even though it’s not his area of expertise, my family doc wants him to remove it. “Okay, well, the words I’m sure you have been dreading- let’s take a look.” I have to say he had a good sense of humor about it all. I’ve been calling this polyp, because it’s growing so quickly, “The Blob.” I just can’t help but imagine this living, breathing beast that’s taking over (one reason why I wanted it GONE!) So as he gets me all settled in the stirrups, he says, “From the way you have been describing it, I’m a little concerned this thing is going to jump out at me.” Well of course, with my nerves and my own imagination working overtime, I bust out laughing. This was not helped at all, when after the procedure and as he was stitching me up, he says, “Don’t be alarmed, but it has kind of run off. We still have an eye on it though.” Apparently it had fallen off the table and was rolling around on the floor. I really, really had to work hard to not pee myself at this point. Does it get more embarrassing!?!?!?!?!!? Of course I am not helping matters at all because, after all my primary doc and the ob’s comments about how much this thing could bleed, I’m picturing this geyser of blood smacking the good looking doc in the forehead. A few sutures, a big mess, and lots of blushing on my part, and the whole ordeal is over. The Blob has been contained and sent off to the lab and will hopefully be determined to be completely benign and this will be just another one of my “most embarrassing” stories. But note to self, if I ever have to do something like this again, I am asking the scheduling person to set me up with the ugliest doc they have!!!
Glad the blob has been removed, hope your results come back benign
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