Worried bout OH leaving me on my own, advice needed pls

cking · Feb 10th, 2010, 11:55 AM

My oh wants new job and is going to great lengths to get it. He's got a trip away in wales for 2 days at the end of the month, he wants to go to a 3 day conference when i'm 33 week and potentially a two day trip to london two weeks before i'm due. He's given me some choice in the trip to brussels but i don't know what to say. I want to support him and let him try for this job but at the same time i'm scared of being left on my own and something happening. I'm not really close to any of my family and don't have anyone else around. The thought of being on my own terrifies me but at the same time i'd feel awful if i made him stay and nothing happened. Any advice girls x x x

JuneBabyBump · Feb 10th, 2010, 12:03 PM

I don't know what to advice you but I can tell you what I would do in your situation. I would let him go and just let him know that I'm a bit nervous about being all alone but that I'll manage. Which you will! We are much stronger than we think and it is often best to let the other person make their own choices than trying to force something on them. Since he is not going all too long or all too far I would think chances are small and he could be quickly back in case of something happening.
My situation isn't all that great either because my DH is in another continent also trying to get a new job and things are very uncertain to when we'll be together again and how things will be.

tiggerlix · Feb 10th, 2010, 12:03 PM

could he try and make some plans to be near or with you around the time you are due and after.Maybe have a talk to him hun...see what he says.
xxx

-Linn- · Feb 10th, 2010, 12:38 PM

If something happens can he drop everything and come to be with you? I would not worry about the trips that are not near the end of the pregnancy. I know it is not nice to be on your own but as long as he can come and be with you should you go into labour I would let him go, after all you and baby will benefit too if he gets a better job!

lauren10 · Feb 10th, 2010, 12:43 PM

You'll be ok if he goes...I know it's a scary thought, but they are very short trips and it would be a shame to have him miss out on the job.

My husband is deploying to Afghanistan and will be gone when I'm 26 weeks until the baby is 3 months old (with the exception of only a 2 weeks window where we "hope" he makes it home for the birth!) My family lives 7 hours away and his lives 6 hours away. It's a sucky situation but I keep telling myself that women everywhere make it on their own, and so can I! Before he goes look into whether there is support in your community, I'm sure you'll be able to find someone or some service that you can count on in an emergency. Also try to get to know your neighbors!

Good luck

Justagirlxx · Feb 10th, 2010, 12:48 PM

Personally I think him going to london for 2 days 2 weeks before you are due is SO STUPID! Thats prime time for you to go into labor and for him to miss the birth. I understand this job is important to him but I'd hope the birth of his child comes before that!!

That being said, at 33 weeks unless the doctor says you are at risk for preterm labor, I think it would be okay for him to go.. I'd talk to your doctor first though!

Feb 10th, 2010, 11:55 AM	#1
cking Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 742	Worried bout OH leaving me on my own, advice needed pls My oh wants new job and is going to great lengths to get it. He's got a trip away in wales for 2 days at the end of the month, he wants to go to a 3 day conference when i'm 33 week and potentially a two day trip to london two weeks before i'm due. He's given me some choice in the trip to brussels but i don't know what to say. I want to support him and let him try for this job but at the same time i'm scared of being left on my own and something happening. I'm not really close to any of my family and don't have anyone else around. The thought of being on my own terrifies me but at the same time i'd feel awful if i made him stay and nothing happened. Any advice girls x x x

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Feb 10th, 2010, 12:03 PM	#2
JuneBabyBump Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 145	I don't know what to advice you but I can tell you what I would do in your situation. I would let him go and just let him know that I'm a bit nervous about being all alone but that I'll manage. Which you will! We are much stronger than we think and it is often best to let the other person make their own choices than trying to force something on them. Since he is not going all too long or all too far I would think chances are small and he could be quickly back in case of something happening. My situation isn't all that great either because my DH is in another continent also trying to get a new job and things are very uncertain to when we'll be together again and how things will be.

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Feb 10th, 2010, 12:03 PM	#3
tiggerlix Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: cornwall,uk Posts: 1,867	could he try and make some plans to be near or with you around the time you are due and after.Maybe have a talk to him hun...see what he says. xxx

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Feb 10th, 2010, 12:38 PM	#4
-Linn- Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: UK Posts: 4,575	If something happens can he drop everything and come to be with you? I would not worry about the trips that are not near the end of the pregnancy. I know it is not nice to be on your own but as long as he can come and be with you should you go into labour I would let him go, after all you and baby will benefit too if he gets a better job!

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 12:43 PM	#5
lauren10 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: NB Canada Posts: 2,450	You'll be ok if he goes...I know it's a scary thought, but they are very short trips and it would be a shame to have him miss out on the job. My husband is deploying to Afghanistan and will be gone when I'm 26 weeks until the baby is 3 months old (with the exception of only a 2 weeks window where we "hope" he makes it home for the birth!) My family lives 7 hours away and his lives 6 hours away. It's a sucky situation but I keep telling myself that women everywhere make it on their own, and so can I! Before he goes look into whether there is support in your community, I'm sure you'll be able to find someone or some service that you can count on in an emergency. Also try to get to know your neighbors! Good luck

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 12:48 PM	#6
Justagirlxx Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Connecticut, USA Posts: 2,989	Personally I think him going to london for 2 days 2 weeks before you are due is SO STUPID! Thats prime time for you to go into labor and for him to miss the birth. I understand this job is important to him but I'd hope the birth of his child comes before that!! That being said, at 33 weeks unless the doctor says you are at risk for preterm labor, I think it would be okay for him to go.. I'd talk to your doctor first though!

Status: Offline

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