Belle

All,
Thought i'd ask all of u what you think of my mini dilema.
So this is my OH's and my 2nd baby together and were very excited for it's arrival. Thing is i have my 20weeks scan 20th of next month and OH has said he doesn't want us to find out the sex of our little 1!!
Most of you who have followed me up until now will know that i'm DYING to know what i'm having and just simply can't wait till the big day!!
So here's what i have been thinking but trying to dismiss it it as i do feel awful. Do i secretly book a private scan and go by myself tell no1 (except u guys of course) settle my own mind and be done with or shall i go with my OH's wishes and wait for a suprise??
I do feel really bad the thought of me just going and knowing all that time, i mean i would seriously have to take it to my grave if i did it, but i just wanna know!!
Has anyone else done this or had to not find out cuz their OH?? xx

Sparky0207

Not a nice situation to be in hun.

My OH was the same at first, he really didnt want to know but luckily for me he changed his mind as it got closer.

Why doesnt he want to know? Does he mind if you know but not him? If hes ok with that then maybe you could ask your sonographer to tell you privately after the scan?

Personally I wouldnt have a private scan without him purely because if he found out it may damage the trust in your relationship.

Is there definitely no way you can talk him round? Try telling him that they can never be 100% sure anyway (you dont need to point out that they are usually 99% sure!!!!) and they may not even be able to tell.

Hope it goes well for you hun

Belle

he def does not want to know (he's very stubborn) and he says he doesn't want me to know either, grrrr!! He thinks its immature that i want to find out (all his family dont like it either) WEIRD!
i wanna know so much!! x

gde78

I wouldn't have a private scan, only because I don't think I'd be able to keep it a secret. At some point in the future, I'd be sure to have too many wines and it would come out. Are you positive you could keep it to yourself? Would you feel guilty about keeping it a secret? There's no point if the guilt would eat you up.

I'd ask him if he minds if you know, and do what Sparky suggests and ask the sonographer to tell you privately what sex the baby is. There's no point starting secrets now if you don't have too.

Good luck!

Belle

i know ur all probbaly right but i know i wont be finding out the sex
not the biggest dilema i know but u know how much it can niggle at u when u walk into a clothes shop and u just want to look 4 pink or blue!

gde78

Whoop. We were writing at the same time! In that case then, I'd probably wait. Although I can understand you wanting you to know. I'm just a blabber mouth round my OH and wouldn't be able to keep it quiet! But if you can keep it quiet, and you feel OK doing it, then I'd ask the sonographer what the sex is! But make sure you let us know lol!

amy_tea

I wouldn't have a scan done behind my partners back. Mine didn't want to know at first but came round to the idea. At the end of the day you'll only have to wait another 20 weeks to find out what it is when he/she arrives.

I know how you feel though when you say you're desperate to know. Just keep working on him :-)

Vickie

Is there any way you could find out the sex, maybe he can leave the room for a few minutes, and not him? My DH and I discussed this option because I always knew that I wanted to find out the sex, and he was on the fence.

gde78

I know what you mean... and the Next sale.... how handy would it be to know!

leeanne

I think if my OH didn't want to know, I wouldn't go and find out on my own. I'd feel very guilty for keeping such a secret.

Strange that he is adamant about not finding out.