Snowball

Sorry in advance, I'm having a bit of a down day today. Well I guess a down week. DH is working 12 hours days until Friday. His hours are 8am till 8pm so it's the whole time the kids are up he's decided to volunteer to work.

I woke up this morning after a night up with my son who's teething and after DH had left to go to work I cried. My son was in bed with me smiling and rolling around and I didn't even have the energy to smile back. I just broke down.

I'm sure DH doesn't realise what strain I'm under everyday looking after a two year old and I ten month old. Don't get me wrong I love it, I wouldn't be having another baby if I didn't love it so much. I just wish I felt like he cared more about spending time with us as much as he does about going to work. I don't understand why he loves it so much there, I really don't.

When he told me last week that he was going to do twelve hour shifts all this week I reminded him that he'd promised never to do them again when our son was born. I just got the response, 'This is the first time I've done it and they're short staffed so as management I have to step up and set an example!'. He has been like this about work since he started there two years ago and he won't leave until next year because he's told me I'm not getting my own way and making him leave now.

I feel bad getting onto him all the time and to be honest when he's here I still feel lonely. He just sits in the chair on his computer. I never hear anything about how his day at work was, even if I ask all I get is, 'It was ok'. I'm worrying it's driving us apart and I honestly don't know if I can cope with another year of it. I want things back to how they were when he just worked a normal job again. We don't even cuddle anymore unless it's leading to sex. If I cuddle him normally he just tells me to get off. This also started when his job did.

The thing is I still really love him. I don't want us to split up and certainly not because of his job. I don't want it to beat me. I just want him to care about us asmuch as he does about that place and I haven't felt that way for a long time

Sorry again, I'm a hormonal wreck today

tb42

Sorry you are feeling like this. I think it's a hard work being pregnant and has to cope with all the symptoms and you even have to take care 2 more babies all day every day.
I have to say sometimes my DH makes me feel lonely too even when he's home because he likes spending time in front of TV more than with me. We have 2 puppies, and i feel like i talk to them more than to my DH. He would help me with the housework only if he realize i'm really upset about him.

I hope you feel better soon.

leeanne

I am sorry Snowball. My hubby owns his own businesses and much of the time, it's all about business even when not working. And there are days when he works long days. I am home with the kids as well as helping run his businesses and it can be a strain. At times, it's lonely here too.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/grap...i01_forum.html

I haven't brought this up much, but this forum is fantastic and helps one think of things they can do to help change the relationship.

Snowball

Thank's for that link Leeanne, I'm going to go and have a look now.

elles28

glamgirl

i do understd u, as i feel same, i get so frustrated but all i can say just be positive, things will be ok.

ladymilly

oh hun i hope your ok

Snowball

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way (I don't mean that in a horrible way). I just feel a bit alone. Last week I found a load of suspicious texts on his phone from a woman he works with with things like, 'I'm going to delete your number off my phone and we will just go back to being two people who work in the same building' and 'I have feelings for you but I can't say that to your face because we'll both regret it'. I flipped out and contacted someone he works with and it turns out this girl is a bit obsessed with him and is mentally disabled so nothing is going on. What annoyed me most is why didn't he tell me about it? I would have told him if a man was harassing me like that! I don't know why he keeps so much from me when I'm so open.

Ok, ok, I'm going to stop being hormonal now. I've got my private scan on Friday so I'm going to look forward to that

Lauz_1601

dont have any advice really hun but didnt want to read and run. Your hormones wont be helping you either xxxxxxx

Sweetie

Sorry to hear things are rough (these hormones are killer) Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.