Mangomoo

Hi Girls

Sorry about this, I just really need to let off some steam as I have noone that I can talk to at home.

Me and my OH have been together for 4&1/2 years and it has never been the perfect relationship, we are always arguing but for some reason we have never wanted to finish the relationship. I suppose we just have highs and huge lows.

Recently we have done nothing but argue from everything from cleaning to sex!

I am a very insecure person about everything from my looks to how people perceive me I see that making love with my partner helps me to feel loved and adored.

I have never quite understood my OH's attitude to sex, I see it as a way of showing the person that you are with how close you are, how much you love each other and how much you want, adore and fancy your partner. But I also thought that men loved to have sex as much as possible

When I started seeing my partner I was about 1 & 1/2 stones lighter (before I got pregnant) and I know that he hates the extra weight I have gained (he has told me) and that is one of the reasons why I don't turn him on as much as I used to. He also finds it hard to make love after we have been arguing this can shometimes take up to one week.

Take this morning for example. The last time we had sex was way over 3 weeks ago! He sometimes works away and one week of that was spent away
plus he is never really a off the cuff sex man anymore it allways has to be first thing in a morning when we are not at work. Hence I thought that Good Friday morning was a perfect opportunity to make love and to relieve some frustrations!

Anyway I tried and I got rejected and of course as any girl would I feel heartbroken. even ususally when I have been rejected before I have never felt this bad so I left the bedroom to do some cleaning and give him the silent treatment. He came in to the room and asked if I was ok, when I replied No he said why so I said use your brain and left the room. He never comes to ask me what is wrong so about two hours later I popped downstairs to try and talk, he told me that I make him feel like a prostitute ?????WTF?????? and that I can't expect to have sex with him so soon after arguing. I have tried to tell him how even more insecure this makes me feel and that it has been THREE weeks since we did anything and I feel so hurt and unloved and unwanted I am just a wreck. I just can't understand his comment about feeling like a prostitute.

Oh yes and I know he watched porn to get off on, which makes me feel even more worthless.

Anyway to stop me from rambling on and on I really don't know what to do. I am considering ending this relationship but I really don't want to be a single mother and I don't know if I am strong enough. I don't want to move back to my Mums and I can't afford my own place. Does anyone have any advice, I am a complete wreck.

Sorry if my story jumps around in places I just find it hard to write how I feel.

Thanks xx

charlottecco2

god men can be so insensisitive sometimes it makes me so angry. I like you am pretty insecure at times and i really need affection and cuddles to make myself feel better. But i don't always get it.
I can't believe he said that he feels like a "prostitute" what a load of bullshit. Especially if hes happy to play with himself whlist watching porn, that is far more filthy in my eyes. You need to let him know exactly how you feel and if he doesn't listen then, he isn't worth being upset about.
He should never have told you he doesn't like the fact you have put on weight pre pregnancy either, he should love you and find you sexy regardless.

Maybe you could take a break and go and stay with some family for a few days, i know that always help me get my head straight.

Big hugs honey and hang in there. You will have a beautiful baby before you know it. xxxxxx

elles28

I agree with Charlotte. If you have someone you can stay with for a few days it would give you time to think things through. I feel like slapping your OH tbh he should be helping & supporting you not coming out with crappy comment like that MEN Grrrrr!!!!

charlottecco2

here here!!!! grrrrr xx

babe2ooo

yeah i agree with what everyone else said, just make sure you think about what your next step is dont just act if your angry

Rumpskin

Oh darling, your story makes me sad.

I am extremely insecure and a paranoid person.

I think taking some time out away from him may be a sensible suggestion. Not a permanent solution but perhaps something to make him realise what he has got or could loose.

xxx

amy_tea

Im sorry for the way your OH has been treating you. You deserve better than that.

Just Visiting

I am feeling the same way at the moment. Our sexual relationship seems to be dwindling. We don't make love as much as we used to. He only seems to be interested in cuddling. It is nice to cuddle but there are times when I want more. I have been finding myself being the initiator. Earlier today, I tried to initiate. We were lying on the futon watching tv. At one moment, I even grabbed his hand to touch my breasts. First he said he was getting cold, then he wanted to nap. Then he proceeded to fall asleep. I shed a few tears afterwards then went for a walk.

At the moment I am feeling bad because I have to force myself on him in order to get somewhere. It would be great if he showed more interest and initiative. I am pregnant, I am not dead. Is he losing sexual feeling towards me because of the baby? I am still too upset to talk it over with him right now.

Rumpskin

Oh sweetheart, that is just so sad. Sending you a hug

cparks1

Aww sweetie, always remember that you are beautiful, no matter what any man tells you. I can only imagine how distrought you must feel by your OH's comments and actions. I agree with the other posters, do you have someone you can go stay with for awhile? That way, you can clear your head and maybe make a decision on what you want to do about your relationship. Also, that would give him time to realize what he has and what he could lose if he doesn't straighten out. Being pregnant is a beautiful thing and it's a shame that he is acting like a child, instead, he should be delighted that you are carrying his child. Good luck to you sweetie.