Welcome to BabyandBump's Pregnancy - Second Trimester Forum - 14 > 26 weeks – The morning sickness has gone and the bump is growing. Talk to others and seek advice from maternity wear to what to expect over the coming weeks. This thread is called 'Is my midwife rubbish?' and is in our Pregnancy Forums section. | 
Dec 16th, 2009, 21:55 PM
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| | Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Swansea
Posts: 37
| Is my midwife rubbish?
Or am I just expecting too much? To date, this is how my experience has gone with her
1st visit to the house at 10weeks :- she called 9.30pm the night before to say she might be late the next morning as she had to go to the doctors in the morning. She turned up not well. According to the notes she risk assessed all my house (from the lounge!). She knew I was stressed at that time but didn't ofer any other support except a symapthetic noise. Got the feeling she was doing the bare minimum and didnt really allow time for any questions.
2nd visit in clinic for 16 week check:- she answered the phone and her mobile as I had entered the room before I even spoke to her and went on to rant about how she was running behind in clinic and how busy she was etc. Got off the phones eventually and said to me "I could just scream!"
In the meantime I had got progressively more stressed since the last visit, which I feel is bordeline pre-natal depression which had involved some time off work. I explained this to her and she said that she wished she could help more. I asked about how to apply for maternity allowance as I wouldn't qualify for Stat Mat pay from work and she didn't have any info. She rang someone on the spot and told me to go to the social security office but couldn't tell me where it was.
So because the baby is well (never mind that I'm not!) she said see you at the 25 week stage next.
And thats it really. Is this adequate or am I not understanding her role properly? | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:07 PM
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| | Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: north west
Posts: 230
| I really have no idea what the norm is Hun. My mw is ok when I'm there, but like u wen I went she told me how busy she was n didn't hav enough time!! Each time I have seen her she has been over an hour behind. Stil waiting for screening test results, she won't give me her tel no. I have to ring the Docs n she rings me back from withheld!! But overall if I have a problem she tries to sort it.
Who knows Hun. Not what I expected tho xxx | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:12 PM
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| | Expecting a Boy in May! Active BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: san diego
Posts: 439
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Steer  Or am I just expecting too much? To date, this is how my experience has gone with her
1st visit to the house at 10weeks :- she called 9.30pm the night before to say she might be late the next morning as she had to go to the doctors in the morning. She turned up not well. According to the notes she risk assessed all my house (from the lounge!). She knew I was stressed at that time but didn't ofer any other support except a symapthetic noise. Got the feeling she was doing the bare minimum and didnt really allow time for any questions.
2nd visit in clinic for 16 week check:- she answered the phone and her mobile as I had entered the room before I even spoke to her and went on to rant about how she was running behind in clinic and how busy she was etc. Got off the phones eventually and said to me "I could just scream!"
In the meantime I had got progressively more stressed since the last visit, which I feel is bordeline pre-natal depression which had involved some time off work. I explained this to her and she said that she wished she could help more. I asked about how to apply for maternity allowance as I wouldn't qualify for Stat Mat pay from work and she didn't have any info. She rang someone on the spot and told me to go to the social security office but couldn't tell me where it was.
So because the baby is well (never mind that I'm not!) she said see you at the 25 week stage next.
And thats it really. Is this adequate or am I not understanding her role properly? |
This is really out of line, in my opinion.
Although my doctor and his medical assistant tend to treat me as if I should have a perfect state of mind because the baby is just fine, but sometimes its hard not to have emotional stages or times of worry,
and it really isn't fair that just because everything is fine with the baby, which is great, great news either way, that NOTHING else should be wrong and that you don't really need much time or attention from your doctor.
Depression during pregnancy is probably one of the most frustrating things,
you want to be ecstatic, and sometimes you are, but you seem to still be depressed about everything, and lose interest and act irrationally.
She should be able to at least refer you to someone who you can talk to about it. | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:21 PM
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| | Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 183
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Steer 1st visit to the house at 10weeks :- she called 9.30pm the night before to say she might be late the next morning as she had to go to the doctors in the morning. She turned up not well. According to the notes she risk assessed all my house (from the lounge!). | why did she do a risk assessment? i have 2 kids already and not once have i had to have my house risk assessed! Is she being way over the top? she does sound really unproffesional to me!!! | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:25 PM
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| | Mum (Mom) BnB Elite
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 12,572
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Steer Or am I just expecting too much? To date, this is how my experience has gone with her
1st visit to the house at 10weeks :- she called 9.30pm the night before to say she might be late the next morning as she had to go to the doctors in the morning. She turned up not well. According to the notes she risk assessed all my house (from the lounge!). She knew I was stressed at that time but didn't ofer any other support except a symapthetic noise. Got the feeling she was doing the bare minimum and didnt really allow time for any questions.
2nd visit in clinic for 16 week check:- she answered the phone and her mobile as I had entered the room before I even spoke to her and went on to rant about how she was running behind in clinic and how busy she was etc. Got off the phones eventually and said to me "I could just scream!"
In the meantime I had got progressively more stressed since the last visit, which I feel is bordeline pre-natal depression which had involved some time off work. I explained this to her and she said that she wished she could help more. I asked about how to apply for maternity allowance as I wouldn't qualify for Stat Mat pay from work and she didn't have any info. She rang someone on the spot and told me to go to the social security office but couldn't tell me where it was.
So because the baby is well (never mind that I'm not!) she said see you at the 25 week stage next.
And thats it really. Is this adequate or am I not understanding her role properly? | I've never head of a risk assessment being done, and at least she called to let you know she'd be running late.
Answering phones is common. Midwives very often travel between different doctors surgeries. They have to have a mobile on them, and answer it at all times. I never begrudged this of my MW, it's part of their job.
I may be wrong, but I believe pre-natal depression is an issue for your GP and MWs are only trained in post-natal.
My MW also had to find out about maternity allowance for me.
I'm not sure how often normal, healthy pregnancies need to be seen by the MW as I was high risk. | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:26 PM
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| | Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: London
Posts: 3,421
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Steer Or am I just expecting too much? To date, this is how my experience has gone with her
1st visit to the house at 10weeks :- she called 9.30pm the night before to say she might be late the next morning as she had to go to the doctors in the morning. She turned up not well. According to the notes she risk assessed all my house (from the lounge!). She knew I was stressed at that time but didn't ofer any other support except a symapthetic noise. Got the feeling she was doing the bare minimum and didnt really allow time for any questions.
2nd visit in clinic for 16 week check:- she answered the phone and her mobile as I had entered the room before I even spoke to her and went on to rant about how she was running behind in clinic and how busy she was etc. Got off the phones eventually and said to me "I could just scream!"
In the meantime I had got progressively more stressed since the last visit, which I feel is bordeline pre-natal depression which had involved some time off work. I explained this to her and she said that she wished she could help more. I asked about how to apply for maternity allowance as I wouldn't qualify for Stat Mat pay from work and she didn't have any info. She rang someone on the spot and told me to go to the social security office but couldn't tell me where it was.
So because the baby is well (never mind that I'm not!) she said see you at the 25 week stage next.
And thats it really. Is this adequate or am I not understanding her role properly? | OMG, if I was you I would refer your midwife to the nmc code of conduct, she will know what it is! In answer to your question, Id say she sounds unprofessional big time and of course rubbish! And thats not what you need right now you need support. I had a rubbish midwife at my 16 week appointment too.
Telling you she had a doctors appointment next morning? And that gives you confidence in her how?  You hadnt even met her yet, your hardly on friendly terms yet...
Telling you she wants to scream?  wtf?
Also, do you know why she did a risk assessment on your house? I had to go to the clinic for my booking in appointment, but there is no baby there yet so I dont understand that one.
Here is a link about maternity allowance..
http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/...08115.xml.html
Id strongly reccomend making a complaint to the sister or the practice you went too, and ask to see a different midwife. Your pregnant you have to think about yourself, you dont have time for incompetencies. I would then make an appointment with your GP about your antenatal depression as that is a BIG thing how she just brushed over that I dont know  as you need to be assessed properly for that so you can get the right support..
Hope this helps hun xx | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:29 PM
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| | Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: London
Posts: 3,421
| Quote:
Originally Posted by rafwife Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Steer Or am I just expecting too much? To date, this is how my experience has gone with her
1st visit to the house at 10weeks :- she called 9.30pm the night before to say she might be late the next morning as she had to go to the doctors in the morning. She turned up not well. According to the notes she risk assessed all my house (from the lounge!). She knew I was stressed at that time but didn't ofer any other support except a symapthetic noise. Got the feeling she was doing the bare minimum and didnt really allow time for any questions.
2nd visit in clinic for 16 week check:- she answered the phone and her mobile as I had entered the room before I even spoke to her and went on to rant about how she was running behind in clinic and how busy she was etc. Got off the phones eventually and said to me "I could just scream!"
In the meantime I had got progressively more stressed since the last visit, which I feel is bordeline pre-natal depression which had involved some time off work. I explained this to her and she said that she wished she could help more. I asked about how to apply for maternity allowance as I wouldn't qualify for Stat Mat pay from work and she didn't have any info. She rang someone on the spot and told me to go to the social security office but couldn't tell me where it was.
So because the baby is well (never mind that I'm not!) she said see you at the 25 week stage next.
And thats it really. Is this adequate or am I not understanding her role properly? | I've never head of a risk assessment being done, and at least she called to let you know she'd be running late.
Answering phones is common. Midwives very often travel between different doctors surgeries. They have to have a mobile on them, and answer it at all times. I never begrudged this of my MW, it's part of their job.
I may be wrong, but I believe pre-natal depression is an issue for your GP and MWs are only trained in post-natal.
My MW also had to find out about maternity allowance for me.
I'm not sure how often normal, healthy pregnancies need to be seen by the MW as I was high risk. | Midwives are meant to be trained to deal with all prenatal and postnatal care, depression is common in pregnancy they cant just ignore it. Usually, they refer to the GP for some counselling or medication but they are still meant to support you if your saying you feel down. Not saying this is relevent to OP but you could put yourself and your baby in danger so it is there problem. xx | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:29 PM
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| | Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Swansea
Posts: 37
| It was part of the form in the notes. Any hazards identified in the following rooms etc.? And she ticked no for all rooms.
I think she is being the opposite of over the top in a way, just going through the basics etc. I really am struggling at the moment, especially with my feelings and sorting out maternity pay etc. I just thought she could as lunarsea suggested refer me on for help if she is too busy or at least give me a leaflet on maternity allowance.
I would've thought looking after my well-being would ensure prevention of any complications with baby later on down the line, however it seems a catastrophic management approach is being adopted! | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:33 PM
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| | Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: London
Posts: 3,421
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Steer It was part of the form in the notes. Any hazards identified in the following rooms etc.? And she ticked no for all rooms.
I think she is being the opposite of over the top in a way, just going through the basics etc. I really am struggling at the moment, especially with my feelings and sorting out maternity pay etc. I just thought she could as lunarsea suggested refer me on for help if she is too busy or at least give me a leaflet on maternity allowance.
I would've thought looking after my well-being would ensure prevention of any complications with baby later on down the line, however it seems a catastrophic management approach is being adopted! | The risk assessment could be something they do for women in pcts that have home visits. I dont think she sounds catastrophic, maybe if she was to light up a fag in front of you could call it that , but she does sound unprofessional. Anyway Id make a complaint and Id definately speak to your gp asap hun. Hope I helped a bit xx | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 16th, 2009, 22:40 PM
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| | Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Swansea
Posts: 37
| I'm frightened to ask to change midwife because what if she is doing her job right and then the next midwife will judge me for being picky/anxious.
Not once has she asked me how I feel about being pregnant. If she did she would know that all my feelings are negative and I am petrified of being a mother, even though I want it to be the opposite.
Should I call her before the next appointment and ask for more help? Or what if she just directs me to the internet again like she did about the social security office? | | | | Status: Offline
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