so yesterday went over to m.i.l. and fetched christmas cards home with us, when i opened one from bil and sil to our little girl inside it just said from caroline and brian, not from aunty and uncle, i was a bit hurt by this and told my oh when he got in from work he then phoned his brother and and asked him about it, he said sorry and that he dont no how it happened so ok it was a mistake we left it at that..............then the cow this morning sent a txt to my oh saying why r we kicking off over something so pathetic she stressed enough trying to sell house without this and wot does it matter cos we r not married yet anyway WTF!!
anyway oh phoned his brother to say i am fuming over the txt and sil is not welcome to our house at xmas untill she says sorry, so bil was upset cos it will ruin xmas mil was was upset and said i should let it go to save arguements. am i being petty and hormonal to ban her from the house till i get an apology..... thanxs in advance 4 any replies......

lisa 24 weeks with pink bump

I am not sur waht difference it makes you being married or not. But I think regarding how card was worded, it genuinely sounds like they are busy people and have just wrote the cards as quickly as possible. I notice I sometimes do things like that myself unintentionally, for example on my xmas presents to my children i had to rewrite a tag cos it said from my own name instead of mum. i just think it's down to writing a lot of cards at one time and not done deliberately to mean anything.xx

No your not being petty!!! I have a problem SIL aswell so can totally sympathise with you!! Stand your ground.. She's upset you why should you apologise!!!! xx

Hmmmmm.........I think if she left out everything except the ''you're not married yet anyway'' comment, I'd be inclined to reply setting her mind at ease that no one was trying to kick something off with her, just curious about it, and let her get over it on her end.

But with the addition of the ''married'' comment, I would be well pissed too as it was something she seemed to cook up as a sideways insult. Also as said above, it doesn't matter whether you're married or not, in my opinion.

But some people are like that with regards to family labels. I'm not against that way of thinking if that's what they choose, but to throw it into that text to you was a bit OTT.

Don't know, can't say I have a certain opinion on it for definite, but I would definitely feel a bit miffed. I would perhaps say, ''You weren't kicking off anything before but with the addition of that ''married'' comment, congratulations on starting something now. ''

yes i understand about being busy and accepted that it was a mistake and all was forgot about till the nasty txt this morning....i forgot to say that my little girl is not my oh's and we have really worked hard to bring her family life to normality it just makes me feel like she doesn't class her as part of the family. me and oh have been together for 2 and a half years getting married 4th september and got a lo one due in april.............thanks for replying...just needed to vent every thing

oh I get it now!!! Yeah in that case I do see it a little differently. I can see why you're hurt about it now. xx

I can understand the need to vent alright. My son isn't my husband's child either (he's 7), but that never stopped his family from accepting him and using the labels as if he were (grandson, nephew, cousin, etc). It really is lovely that family would include others in the unit like themselves, particularly as children are so young and don't know any better and are happy to have family (in my opinion). Oh wells, what can you do about some that don't? Regardless of that, though, she shouldn't have sent that text this morning. It was just worded in a really assy manner, in my opinion, and I wouldn't blame you for wanting an apology.

maybe look at it from her perspective she probably thinks she was being nice by sending your little girl a card and never thought about the aunty and uncle bit or it was a mistake and then she gets an phone call about it and is probably hurt and upset that it was and then in a moment of anger sent out the message and she may well regret it now. I know I am prone if I am upset to say things that I dont really mean.

By the way I dont know what your relationship is like save for this one instance - if it is usually very good I would just leave it.

It seems like ur s.i.l is being petty not you. Your OH has accepted your lil girl, so should everybody else. I think you deserve an apology esp for the 'not being married yet comment' x

Sorry just seen the bit about it not being your OHs then yes I think you do need an apology as it maybe that the initial card is not a mistake. I have issues with my SIL as well (which is why I was reading the thread) and have to calm myself down so I dont cause issues with my OH family.