~> Fiance is sulking, family issue OT <~

EternalRose · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:17 PM

Hi Ladies,

I really need to get this out, so the fiance has arranged for his father in law and new girlfriend to come up to ours tomorrow which im fine with. They live about an hour away. Recently, there has been a bit of a rift, with my fiance's sister and there dad, because after there mum passed away which was over 2 years ago his dad, found a new woman quite quickly. He had been married to there late mother for over 40 years, so my SIL has struggled to come to terms with the new woman in his life. ( His dad is 67 ) My fiance is fine with his new gf, and doesnt see the problem his sister has with her. However, I feel a bit stuck in the middle as I actually think his new gf is alright. Anyhow, we live an hour or so away from his family , so we dont get to see them very often but I have one particular problem. Everytime his Dad and his gf come up to see us, my fiance just sits there in silence and only talks when spoken too. My fiance has never been that close to his dad ( my fiance is adopted), but I find that on these meetings Im so embarrased by my fiance's lack of willingness to just freely speak that I find myself talking for the both of us like a flipping entertaining puppy. Am I wrong to think that this is unfair on me? I find it so RUDE!

They drive over 60 miles to see us, and take us out to the restaurant and my fiance cant be bothered to make a conversation.

So, Im just sitting here with my fiance in the lounge and I said to him " Are you just not going to say anything, when your family come tomorrow? " and he looks at me all angry that Ive mentioned it. I said, " Im pregnant now, and to be quite frank im tired. I dont want to be doing all the talking again tomorrow. What if I was to go quiet as well, they would think we was being really rude?! " He replies by saying " Well, thanks very much for bringing it up, now im going to be thinking about it all evening and night and tomorrow as well. Im going to be conscience of it! " So I say, " Well, what did you expect me to do, not say anything? " he says.." I dont really want them here to be honest ". So I say, " then why the bloody hell are you letting them come over ".

Im all for family and everything, but its his Dad. Not mine. I dont see why I should have to do all the talking all the time and he just sits there. Im standing up for myself, now his face looks like a slapped ass and he is sitting in the lounge sulking. Can you imagine if I was to go quiet as well? How awkward would it be? It makes me feel like I dont want them to come over because I cant be doing with the over talking that I have to do & I almost feel like I just want to sit there as well but I just couldnt do that. My fiance says, I should have never mentioned it to him because he might have talked tomorrow, but I think thats a cop out excuse. If he didnt talk, would I have to bring it up over the restaurant table? It should be an equal thing, we both chat and laugh e.t.c

Do you think im being unreasonable?

EternalRose xx

RainbowDrop_x · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:24 PM

Hi hun

Didn't want to just read and run. My opinion may not be the right (or mature) one but I personally would try to make him feel as uncomfortable as he makes you feel. I'd just sit there and say nothing and let him make the effort. Like you say it is his family at the end of the day why should you keep the sweet?? I'm thankful enough for my OH to have really lovely parents so this is never something I've experienced personally but I would defiantly give him a taste of his own medicine and see how he likes it!!

And just for the record NO i don't think you'r being unreasonable lol xx

EternalRose · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:26 PM

Thanks for not reading & running hun! Glad to know im not being unreasonable and I think I might do that if he does it again tomorrow. I used to live in Northampton by the way, lived there for 21 years only moved to Surrey last year. xxx

LuckySalem · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:27 PM

I'm with Kayleigh.
OH does this with his family so I just make sure I'm never alone with them or if I am I just speak about DD as that's about all we have in common.

subio · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:27 PM

No, you arent being unreasonable at all! Sounds like your fiance has issues with his dad and just isnt prepared to admit it like his sister is. You shouldnt have to do all the work, he needs to put some effort in and not rely on you to make the evening go well. I would purposely ask him a question in front of them, something like, youve been to (wherever) havent you? and make him talk. thats what i would do but its a tough one. Dont feel like you have to carry everyone, sit back and speak when you have something to say. As for him sitting there with a face on him, he'll get over it, you hit a nerve thats all, honestly, what are men like?! Another option would be to say, right, I will do all the talking all night and you can sit there in silence, providing you carry the baby all night.... oh whats that honey....? You cant carry a baby....? Oh dear then, looks like youll have to do some talking.... lol

EternalRose · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuckySalem

I'm with Kayleigh.
OH does this with his family so I just make sure I'm never alone with them or if I am I just speak about DD as that's about all we have in common.

Oh gosh, how annoying is it? His dad called friday night about coming for tomorrow. While his dad was STILL on the phone, my fiance says to me " Do we have anything planned for Sunday? " hoping Id say we did aparently!

Obviously, I said " No " but come on. Did he really expect me to say, while his dad was still on the reciever that " yeah, we have lots of plans sunday, too busy? " It got me so mad.

EternalRose · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by subio

No, you arent being unreasonable at all! Sounds like your fiance has issues with his dad and just isnt prepared to admit it like his sister is. You shouldnt have to do all the work, he needs to put some effort in and not rely on you to make the evening go well. I would purposely ask him a question in front of them, something like, youve been to (wherever) havent you? and make him talk. thats what i would do but its a tough one. Dont feel like you have to carry everyone, sit back and speak when you have something to say. As for him sitting there with a face on him, he'll get over it, you hit a nerve thats all, honestly, what are men like?! Another option would be to say, right, I will do all the talking all night and you can sit there in silence, providing you carry the baby all night.... oh whats that honey....? You cant carry a baby....? Oh dear then, looks like youll have to do some talking.... lol

Absolutely loved this!! It made me laugh out loud, thanks for replying. Least I know im not being a bitch, and I will take all of your advice and take a back seat tomorrow. It has to be done, he will HAVE to talk then.

subio · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EternalRose

Quote:

Originally Posted by subio

No, you arent being unreasonable at all! Sounds like your fiance has issues with his dad and just isnt prepared to admit it like his sister is. You shouldnt have to do all the work, he needs to put some effort in and not rely on you to make the evening go well. I would purposely ask him a question in front of them, something like, youve been to (wherever) havent you? and make him talk. thats what i would do but its a tough one. Dont feel like you have to carry everyone, sit back and speak when you have something to say. As for him sitting there with a face on him, he'll get over it, you hit a nerve thats all, honestly, what are men like?! Another option would be to say, right, I will do all the talking all night and you can sit there in silence, providing you carry the baby all night.... oh whats that honey....? You cant carry a baby....? Oh dear then, looks like youll have to do some talking.... lol

Absolutely loved this!! It made me laugh out loud, thanks for replying. Least I know im not being a bitch, and I will take all of your advice and take a back seat tomorrow. It has to be done, he will HAVE to talk then.

Let me know how it goes, I genuinely will be looking for an update! Mind you, I am a bitch as I tend to use this for everything.... "dishes? sure ill do the dishes, could you just.... carry our child in your womb while I do them?" heheh good luck with mr grumpy xx

Sam9kids · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:39 PM

Awwww poor you. I agree with the others. Hope it goes ok xx

LuckySalem · Nov 14th, 2009, 17:41 PM

I'm loving that one! Will have to try it with DP. Although I have tried do you wanna carry these boobs around all day when I was complaining about the size of em (I think we're at 48G now) and he said he LOVED them that big and wouldnt want smaller ones. LOL

In shock at your DP trying to get out of it by asking if you had anything on. lol

Nov 14th, 2009, 17:17 PM	#1
EternalRose Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,739	~> Fiance is sulking, family issue OT <~ Hi Ladies, I really need to get this out, so the fiance has arranged for his father in law and new girlfriend to come up to ours tomorrow which im fine with. They live about an hour away. Recently, there has been a bit of a rift, with my fiance's sister and there dad, because after there mum passed away which was over 2 years ago his dad, found a new woman quite quickly. He had been married to there late mother for over 40 years, so my SIL has struggled to come to terms with the new woman in his life. ( His dad is 67 ) My fiance is fine with his new gf, and doesnt see the problem his sister has with her. However, I feel a bit stuck in the middle as I actually think his new gf is alright. Anyhow, we live an hour or so away from his family , so we dont get to see them very often but I have one particular problem. Everytime his Dad and his gf come up to see us, my fiance just sits there in silence and only talks when spoken too. My fiance has never been that close to his dad ( my fiance is adopted), but I find that on these meetings Im so embarrased by my fiance's lack of willingness to just freely speak that I find myself talking for the both of us like a flipping entertaining puppy. Am I wrong to think that this is unfair on me? I find it so RUDE! They drive over 60 miles to see us, and take us out to the restaurant and my fiance cant be bothered to make a conversation. So, Im just sitting here with my fiance in the lounge and I said to him " Are you just not going to say anything, when your family come tomorrow? " and he looks at me all angry that Ive mentioned it. I said, " Im pregnant now, and to be quite frank im tired. I dont want to be doing all the talking again tomorrow. What if I was to go quiet as well, they would think we was being really rude?! " He replies by saying " Well, thanks very much for bringing it up, now im going to be thinking about it all evening and night and tomorrow as well. Im going to be conscience of it! " So I say, " Well, what did you expect me to do, not say anything? " he says.." I dont really want them here to be honest ". So I say, " then why the bloody hell are you letting them come over ". Im all for family and everything, but its his Dad. Not mine. I dont see why I should have to do all the talking all the time and he just sits there. Im standing up for myself, now his face looks like a slapped ass and he is sitting in the lounge sulking. Can you imagine if I was to go quiet as well? How awkward would it be? It makes me feel like I dont want them to come over because I cant be doing with the over talking that I have to do & I almost feel like I just want to sit there as well but I just couldnt do that. My fiance says, I should have never mentioned it to him because he might have talked tomorrow, but I think thats a cop out excuse. If he didnt talk, would I have to bring it up over the restaurant table? It should be an equal thing, we both chat and laugh e.t.c Do you think im being unreasonable? EternalRose xx

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Nov 14th, 2009, 17:24 PM	#2
RainbowDrop_x Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 7,727	Hi hun Didn't want to just read and run. My opinion may not be the right (or mature) one but I personally would try to make him feel as uncomfortable as he makes you feel. I'd just sit there and say nothing and let him make the effort. Like you say it is his family at the end of the day why should you keep the sweet?? I'm thankful enough for my OH to have really lovely parents so this is never something I've experienced personally but I would defiantly give him a taste of his own medicine and see how he likes it!! And just for the record NO i don't think you'r being unreasonable lol xx

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Nov 14th, 2009, 17:26 PM	#3
EternalRose Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,739	Thanks for not reading & running hun! Glad to know im not being unreasonable and I think I might do that if he does it again tomorrow. I used to live in Northampton by the way, lived there for 21 years only moved to Surrey last year. xxx

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Nov 14th, 2009, 17:27 PM	#4
LuckySalem Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Wrexham, North Wales Posts: 1,221	I'm with Kayleigh. OH does this with his family so I just make sure I'm never alone with them or if I am I just speak about DD as that's about all we have in common.

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Nov 14th, 2009, 17:27 PM	#5
subio Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: N.Ireland Posts: 155	No, you arent being unreasonable at all! Sounds like your fiance has issues with his dad and just isnt prepared to admit it like his sister is. You shouldnt have to do all the work, he needs to put some effort in and not rely on you to make the evening go well. I would purposely ask him a question in front of them, something like, youve been to (wherever) havent you? and make him talk. thats what i would do but its a tough one. Dont feel like you have to carry everyone, sit back and speak when you have something to say. As for him sitting there with a face on him, he'll get over it, you hit a nerve thats all, honestly, what are men like?! Another option would be to say, right, I will do all the talking all night and you can sit there in silence, providing you carry the baby all night.... oh whats that honey....? You cant carry a baby....? Oh dear then, looks like youll have to do some talking.... lol

Status: Offline

Nov 14th, 2009, 17:39 PM	#9
Sam9kids Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Cheshire, UK Posts: 4,928	Awwww poor you. I agree with the others. Hope it goes ok xx

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Nov 14th, 2009, 17:41 PM	#10
LuckySalem Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Wrexham, North Wales Posts: 1,221	I'm loving that one! Will have to try it with DP. Although I have tried do you wanna carry these boobs around all day when I was complaining about the size of em (I think we're at 48G now) and he said he LOVED them that big and wouldnt want smaller ones. LOL In shock at your DP trying to get out of it by asking if you had anything on. lol

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