Hi ladies!
I wonder if any of you is pregnant for the second time, after having had a 3rd degree tear during the first labour... I was told after having my first baby (and having a massive tear which needed to be stiched in theatre with spinal block) that I would definitely need a C-section for the next one, otherwise risk incontinence for life (yikes!)
Now I am 25 weeks pregnant, and still haven't been told what's going to happen... I am seeing the obstentrician at 28 weeks and I am hoping he will let me know then... I am just fearing he is going to say "up to you", like with the swine flu vaccine, and will put me in a very difficult situation once again... (only just made up my mind about the jab after weeks of debating with myself...)
What would you do? Opt for an elective, with all the risks of a major operation? or risk incontinence for life? I wish life wasn't so difficult right now... i should be enjoying my pregnancy instead of constantly worrying about eveything...

I'm sure when they explain the risks and options to you an answer will become clear. I'm a firm believer that an answer will present itself.

Good luck xxx

You could try starting early and often with perineal massages. Maybe even ask the person who delivers to do it also with oil as the baby is coming out. If you really want to try vaginal, that could help prevent it. Kegel exercises should help too by strengthening the muscles you use to hold your pee. I had 2nd degree tears with both of mine and a tear in my cervix last time. I couldn't have sex for over 6 mths last time because it hurt too much. I would still do it again the same way though because I've had surgery on my belly before (gall bladder removed) and it was hell to recover from for me.

Some women don't have as much pain with their c-sections though. It all depends on how your body handles it I guess. Sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one. I would say do whichever makes you the least nervous! Lots of women get the 3d degree tears and don't end up incontinent.. it's just a possibility. You probably have some possibility of that even without the bad tear.

My 1st pregnancy I had a 4th degree epiesieotomy, I was cut basically "end to end" and had over 100 stitches internal and external. My son was 8lbs 5oz. My next pregnancy 2 years later, I had my next son weighing 8lbs 3oz (only 2oz smaller) and had NO tearing, NO cutting, NO stitching. So there is hope Kegels are your best friend!

Hiya,

This isn't my story, but one of my doula clients. She had a really bad 3rd degree tear - basically an episiotomy that went on to tear a lot further - with her first and with her second opted for an episiotomy with a cut in a different direction to the last one. The theory was that even if she tore further it wouldn't be towards the anus so it couldn't cause incontinence. I was with her for this second birth and it seemed to work really well. She still needed stitches because of the cut but she tore no further. I was then with her two years later at the birth of her third. This time she had no episiotomy and although she did tear slightly it was only slightly, despite this third baby being her biggest by far at over 10lb.

I hadn't come across the alternate direction episiotomy option before so this might be a third option that you could take to your consultant to get his views on.

Good luck!

Gina. x

Just because you tore once doesn't mean you will tear again. Things to help to not tear would be-

* Deliver in water
* Apply warm oil or a warm cloth on your perinium during labor
* Kegals
* Perineal massage
* Most in important- When baby is crowning push the vaginal opening over the baby's head, not having the baby push through it, that is what normally happens in a tear

I was reading this thread out of curiousity...how exactly do you do what you mentioned above? Sorry if this is stupid question but this is my first one and I am starting to think about what it is that could all happen through labour.

But how do you control that? When I was giving birth the first time I just wanted the baby out! I couldn't even think whether I was pushing her or she was pushing out! I just remember the midwife saying: "push harder!" and all my antenatal lessons on how to deliver in small pushes rather than one big push, flashing in front of me... I just couldn't concentrate on doing it the "right way"... They told me -"Either you push this baby out now or we have to use the forceps"... I was so scared that I just gave a massive push, which of course caused the big tear... I think the midwives were changing shifts and everyone was in a bit of a rush

I was cut as I needed a forceps delivery with my first, they cut me from end to end, I dont even know how many stitches I had, but know that it was an awful lot......I had my 2nd child 7 years later, was very worried about having to be cut again, but I tore, I did need stitches, but it wasnt a very big tear compared to when I was cut......Deff speak with your consultant and see waht they say, it all depends n what you feel is easier and safer for you.......