I found out that the weekend that BFs sister had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and I feel awful!
She has been trying with her BF for about 2 years and we were all concerned that she may not be able to get pregnant. From what I know she tested when AF was due and saw a very faint line so she booked an appointment for bloods I think. The outcome was that the HGC levels in her blood were low and were dropping and she miscarried shortly afterwards.
She hasn’t actually told me herself but BF did as he thought I should know. I am so upset for her and feel awful that I have something she may not be able to have.
I don’t want to act different around her but obviously I want to treat carefully with my pregnancy as to not upset her and push it in her face.
She is a lovely girl and there are a few years between us and we get on great and would have been lovely to have a pregnancy buddy.
Any advise for me regarding her?
xx

my sister got pregnant soon after i miscarried n although wen she told me i felt like i had been winded, i was also still soo happy for her n wen it did get too much i would just have a little break from seeing her (i see her everyday wen she is home). so i really dont suggest u do anything differently, she will deal with her feelings her way, n that may mean just stayin away for a little bit but dont take it that she has any bad feelings towards u x x x x

My cousin started to miscarry the day after I told her about my BFP. She was about 4 weeks earlier than me and I felt awful! She seems really happy for me but I'm careful not to 'flaunt' my pregnancy in front of her as I know I'd feel jealous and a tiny bit of resentment if it was the other way around.

You'll probably find that after she's recovered and feels a bit more 'normal' she'll ask you a lot about your pregnancy and be very happy for you x

My friend found out she was pregnant a couple of days after my miscarriage and I found talking about her pregnacy and being around her kind of comforting, it sort of took my mind of it in a way.

My OH's best friend's wife was a week ahead of me when I miscarried at 3 months. I couldn't bare to see her for a good couple of months and I found it really hard as I just kept looking at her bump thinking that should have been the stage our little one would have been at.
My advice would be give her some space and avoid too much baby talk but don't avoid the subject altogether- that made me feel really uncomfortable when I became a baby talk free zone , I just felt like a freak and that they thought it was my fault as much as I did. A big hug and a friendly ear when she's ready to talk will show how much you care.

Thanks for all the replies i cant even imagine how she must be feeling. We normally see BF's dads side of the family once a week or so and we will just play it by ear
xx

Sorry to hear about the miscarriage.

Its not the same situation but i have 2 freinds who are both undergoing IVF. Both have had several failed attempts, One found out her IVF had failed with an implanted embryo the week i told her i was pregnant.

Obviously she was gutted and it was a big berevement for her - i didnt know she was going through a round of IVF at the time but i had text her to tell her i was pregnant, rather than doing it face to face, because i know her history and i thought it would be hard for her to hear i was having a baby. She always has to act happy when people tell her theyre pregnant when her initial reaction is always, understandbly, being gutted because its not her. I wanted to forewarn her before she saw me.

Basically i'm just extra careful around them both not to be insensitive. I have seen my freind end up in tears around people who are too goo goo gah gah about being pregnant and dont consider how awful it is for her after 8 yrs of trying with no bubby.

I try not to do too much baby talk unless they bring it up in which case im happy to talk to them about it. I just dont want to rub it in thier face and i dont know whether theyre having a good or bad day with thier own stuff so i let them decide what they can cope with.

Weirdly I'm also quite careful about clothing when I'm around them - i choose tops that dont make my bump too 'in your face'. Again i just think it means if they cant think about it on that day, I'm making it easier for them to cope.

I dont know if these are the rigth things to do, but so far it seems to be working well. I think its going to be hard for them both once the baby is born, but I hope we will find a way through so they feel that can visit me.

Good luck, I hope things work out for them and you xxx