Hi ladies, sorry to be moaning on here but am just felling so sad right now I've probably not posted in the right place so apologies in advance and thanks for taking the time to read.

This is my first pregnancy,and with such a big change happening to me and my life, I'm also beginning to realise that some of the people I would have loved to meet my baby are no longer with us. In particular I'm talking about my Grandfather who bought me up as his own, he passed away 6 years ago this week and I can't help thinking about how proud he would be to meet his first grandchild.

I feel a bit silly, like I'm dwelling on the past and I know there's nothing I can do about it but I feel better for typing this already. I do believe he is and will be looking over us all but I guess I just miss him still. Does anyone know what I mean?

Hi Hunny

nah sure we all here to offer advise and support best we can
sounds like your just feeling a lil down and hormones can add a great deal to that

I know what you mean
There are people here i would love to be experiencing this pregnancy with me
Main one - My daughter, she wud have been almost 2 and half now and a few mths off 3 when this lil man arrives fingerscrossed and would love them growing uptogether there 3 years between me and my younger bro and would have loved my lil girl to meet her little brother

Also a very close family friend who was great support durning my little girls death he passed away same year as my daughter

I remember finding out 2 nights before my 21st bday party i was 12weeks pregnant
and remember telling Pat (the man who since died) that i was expecting and i couldnt drink, so he said to me '' No worries my sunshine, we will celebrate when the little one arrives, and i promise you this, il makeup for you not drinking tonight by buying you the best and most expensive champagne there is on Babys christening day''

but day my daughters funeral, he slipped me an envelope
and whispered to be '' this is a little something seen as we couldnt buy the champange when i promised, but you worry i wont forget cus There WILL be a next time ''
opened the evenelope after the funeral 100 in cash and a note saying for however we wish to spend

I wish sooo much they were here
But i know Both will be incrediably proud of me xx

big hugs to you both.

My daughter is 14 and since she was born she has lost all fou of he grandfather (two step ones) she was very close to them all and they were all so proud of her with her ponies and what she has achieved.

Her last grandfather died in August this year and everyone believes that he has sent this baby to both familys to cope with the grief. I was actually ill at the funeral and everyone thought I was going through the change!!! How wrong they were!!!

I really feel that this little one is miss out to never know what it is like to have a grandad if this LO is a boy his middle names will be William Robert after DH's dad and my stepdad sadly cannot pick all four names so picked the nicest two my dad was ronald and DH's stepdad was Keith, I hope they all understand up there that although only two of the names were choosen they actually represent all four of them.

The thing that worries me is my step dad's bd was 21st April and DH's step dad's bd was 3rd April and baby is due 16th April I really would like baby to not be born if we can help it on either of these days as I think it would be lovely for it to have its own day xxx

Hey hun,

I was lucky enough never to have lost anyone close to me.... until I was 8 months pregnant when my nan, who I was closer to than anyone, even my own mum, died very suddenly from cancer. No one knew she had it and it was just 16 days from when she was diagnosed to when she died. My daughter would have been her first great grandchild and she was so looking forward to meeting her. She had bought loads for her all through my pregnancy and used to tell everyone so proudly that she would be getting the first cuddle with her once she was born. She couldnt wait. It absolutely killed me to lose her, especially so late in my pregnancy and selfishly, I was praying for my daughter to hurry up and be born early just so she could meet her. I talk to my daughter about her every day and she often points to a picture of my nan and says 'nanny' which I know would make my nan so proud. Life is so cruel sometimes, obviously I would love to have my nan back more than anything in the world, but if I could have just had one picture or just one memory of my nan and daughter together would have eased the pain so much.

xxxxxxxx

I know what you mean hun, I wish my nana was still here to enjoy the pregnancy and see her first great-grandchild. It was 12 years ago that she passed away suddenly from a heart attack but seems like just 2 years ago! There have been many other times I wished she had been here to see (wedding etc) but obviously having my first baby is probably the most important thing I will ever do in my life and its makes me very sad that she will miss out....although I'm sure she will be looking down on us and I will tell our little one all about her when they are older x x x

to all you ladies that have lost someone special

I know exactly what you mean hun, and you don't need to feel silly, I was actually really upset last night over this. I think that having a baby highlights who's not here anymore and it's really sad I will always know that my baby should have their big sister with them. I am so greatful for this child but I do wish that their big sister could be here, they'd be really close in age. A close friend of mine got killed in a car crash three years ago and now that i'm having a baby, it's really hit me. 1) that he'll never meet my baby and 2) that he never got to go through this and have kids. It's heartbreaking. I also wish my grandma who died of alzeimers last summer could still be here to meet my baby. I'm sorry, this probably hasn't made you feel any better but I guess I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel. I am so sorry for your losses, it's a difficult thing to go through when you've lost people close to you . We are all here for you to talk to and your grandfather will be very proud of you!

I'm so sorry for all of the other ladies posted here who've lost people

I totally know how you feel sometimes I cry because I really wish my MIL was here..she just passed away not even 8 months ago..and it's hard on me and hubby..Especially with the lil one coming, I really wish she were here to meet him. The crazy thing is I noticed the other day when I was back tracking my dates..he was conceived on her birthday..so it means a lot to us

Hey Hun! I know exactly what you mean. I am here if you ever need to talk. I am 19 and will be 20 when my son arrives in March. Yet i'v lost my Father in 2006, my Mom in 2008 and my brother in 2009, and had a MC in 2009. The rest of my family isnt close at all. So its like my son will only know his fathers side of the family. But what i like to think about is all the ones we've lost are looking down as EXTRA protection for us and our new little ones. they'll be around and sooo proud of all of us

You are not alone lovely (hugs) . I lost my wonderful dad and aunt 2 years ago (I helped care for both of them as my aunt had no family) and my mum deteriorated after my dad's passing and is now is a 5 star care home with vascular dementia. So it feels like I have lost both my parents and with this baby on the way I am missing them more than ever. I can't believe how life can change in 2 years, and question myself that I am a mature adult and why do I feel like this.

I think when you have a wonderful relationship with someone (parent or otherwise) who is so important in your life, it is natural to miss them and want back what you had, especially at a time when you feel vulnerable and would want to share with them this amazing new life.

I am not religious but I believe my dad and aunt are watching over us and this baby was meant to be. Try talking to a good friend or your oh lovely. x

hiya

i know what you mean..when this lil one comes along, my baby wont ever meet his/her older bro that i mced at 22 weeks, 11 months before this baby's birth. i keep his scan cos its the only proof i have of his existence(had no birth cert despite me having held his 33cm body in my arms for 24 hours)...he would have been the eldest sibling of my future children and they need to know that. i just wish i could have had them both, if that was physically possible.

i know that my grandad (he passed away 9months before my mc of my son and a week before i married) is looking after my son and that they are both looking down on me and this little fighter in my belly. that is the only sense of reassurance that i have they are not missing out on this.

like racheltn, i also realised that this baby was concieved on the date my grandad passed away. so that is special for me too, although i havent shared that with many.