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Amy Marie

I truelly believe if you are open with people and talk about your worries and concerns you cant go wrong. I suffered from depression while I was travelling and worried about it coming back as im sure we all do, but you come out stronger for it the fact that you recognised it as depression is a good thing a lot of people bury their head in the sand.

As for the people in your town, it is none of their business this is your life who cares what they think!! I wouldnt give a damn the most successful people in the world dont have perfect personal lives. None of us do!!

My mum had a bad upbringing and she turned it around when she had me and my sister she didnt want to treat us the way she was treated. As long as you give you baby the love that is all that matters!

You be strong for your baby dont let him of all people mess up your life.
Dont give him the satisfaction!!!

Shady_R

I am so sorry you had to go through this ordeal, I dont think there are any words that can take all the ain away. My thoughts are with you and I hope that you heal real soon from this......You deserve huge hugs for what you have been through and having the strength to walk away from it. You just have to make sure that you dont go back to him......Keep your chin up and dont let him get you down anymore, I know you love him and you possibly will for a very long time to come, but take comfort in knowing you made the right choice for you and your baby.......Hugs hun....xx

EternalRose

Alias

I agree with everyone else here - you are much better off in Ireland than in Turkey with him. Yes, small town people may judge you, but it does sound like your family are supporting you. In Turkey you'd have no one to help you at all. Himself has proven that his word can not be trusted, only listen to his actions, which have been horrid. He is a use, an abuser, and unfortunately was probably never really the man you fell in love with.

I'm sure with the support of your family you will be a great mum. Your child will be loved and cherished, by all of you. It's an unfortunate situation to be in, but you need to move on and make the best of it. Don't pay attention to negative people around you. Don't listen to the father. Hide away for as long as you need to to get your own head back in order, and use your family to help get you there.

Minstermind

Holy shit! I can't even adequately describe what thoughts I had reading about your experience. I'm actually a bit speechless at it...all I can say is that I agree with everyone else here - definitely don't go back to him. That's a worse hole than any you'd be in living in a small town in Ireland or even having to battle depression again (which I hope you don't). So what about your dad? Are you able to live with some family to ease the financial burden and to get some support?

AmyMarie

My dad has been supportive, he was a bit taken back at the start but is really good now.
My mum was not happy and as soon as i was home she kicked me out of the house saying she didnt want no screaming child living there in the future and thats hurt. so that was that, she has calmed down a little but not enough to make me feel comfortable again or to make me feel as if what she is trying to do for me now is genuine.

I always thought after all the bad stories i heard it would never happen to me!!!! I thought i had a few brains in my head, but i was trying to prove that they are not all assholes and got sucked into it. Its not so bad with people now as before, there is always something else to keep their minds occupied after a while.

Im another statistic on the board unfortunalty. I only hope some people learn from my exp. read the signs no matter how small... and a saying i keep saying lately that goes for EVERYONE,
''you can take the man out of the country, but you cant take the country out of the man'' or woman
I have learned no matter how well you think you know their culture, you will never truely know until you got the blunt end of it.
x

honeygrl

Your child will one day understand why you did what you did and will not hate you for it. When you feel your son (yes YOUR son, not HIS son because he isn't fit to be a father and a father is way more than a sperm donor!) is old enough you can explain why you did what you did. You will also have the chance now to teach your son how to treat a woman properly. If he were raised with that horrible man he would likely grow up and treat other women the same way. You are breaking the cycle!! There is absolutely no reason in the world to think he has or will ever change. Most likely, the man he was when you fell in love was just an act he put on to get you where he wanted you. Once he had you away from everything else, his true colors came out. You do not have to settle with anyone who treats you like a dog. (actually, most people treat their dogs better than he treated you... they atleast get to go outside and to the vet!!) You are a person and deserve respect. Honestly, he doesn't even deserve to visit your child. He sounds like the type who would kidnap the kid just to punish you. Keep your child safe. Don't let him be with people who would likely treat him like a dog as well!!

AmyMarie

Thats true,i hope to have a child that will respect a woman and not step on her. instead of saying goodbye to me, his mum just said to me.. take care of my grandson... which i would say the only reason he has the slightest bit of interest in the baby because his mum wants me to have the child. thats even before i knew!!! and he used to threaten that he will take the baby and his mother wil look after it, he was all talk trying to upset me i know that, but i wont give him the benifit of the doubt. He is working on a different system, the power one.

It sounds funny but i dont think the umbilical cord was ever cut between him and his mum!!!! there seems to be an invisible one still there somewhere, As much as i will love my child i hope it doesnt become so attached that in his mid 20's that he cant function without me!!!!!

honeygrl

It sounds like it may all be a cultural thing which is probably so ingrained into his skull that nothing will change it. While it's good to be open to other cultures you have to accept the fact that some just don't mix well with others! Be very very careful once your child is born and please don't let the kid go to visit him.. if you feel you must allow visitation, make him come to you and make sure it's supervised with someone he feels intimidated by! Once the child is on his soil, you may not have many rights in getting him back. Some countries have laws that are so backwards and do not favor women in any way and I definitely wouldn't risk that unless you are very well versed on what you could do if he did something stupid. I'm not sure what the laws are like in Turkey but learning a bit on the issue could definitely benefit you.

loopy_lou

Lots of sense been typed here.

AmyMarie i grew up in Ireland and i can remember how single mothers were treated but as i think we all now agree its way better than what you would have faced in Turkey. I am always here to talk