ok so we have just recently moved into the hubbys parents basement and at first everything was ok but we didn't have all ou stuff here yet now everything is here it is so cramped and there isn't anyhing baby related here yet! I tried to explain that there won't be enough room and that we shuld find somehig bigger but he won't go for it. There will be no room for a crib or anything! I'm a friggen emotional wreck. I hate fighting over it. we could move into an apartment rent free but it's 20 min from his work instead of 5 and he won't scrifice it. I can't live somewhere where I am cramped and not happy and he won't give in. I really don't know what to do anymore. All I do is sit and cry. Some advice would be so helpful please.

I'd possibly try talking to him one last time but if he didn't budge, i'd move into it anyway on my own (especially if it's rent free) and he'd have the chance to follow! At least you'd have enough space for your LO. That's just me though, i'm stubborn and would NEED space for my LO.

I hope you can sort things soon

I agree with squidge, I'd mention it again , but possibly by saying ok where is the moses going, or crib etc. Where are we putting babies drawers or whatever else you have of babies & maybe this will sink into him more when he looks realistically. If not then i would most defo move into the rent free accom, YOU need to be happy, relaxed & have your own space.
So being 20 mins drive to work is still close by! Ah get him told him, sounds like he thinking of himself & not all 3 of you .x

I think mention it calmly and express your love for him and exactly why, in a calm rational manner you can't live there (it's too small) and the practical implications of that (whatever they might be).

Then, I'd ask him how he feels, his reasons for not wanting to move, ask if it is SOLELY the fact that he'll have a 15 min longer commute to work and ask him if he thinks its fair on you and the baby (in a loving and rational way, repeat that you don't want to fight and ADAMANTLY stay calm and loving no matter what his answers or reaction.) for him to not be able to sacrifice half an hour in his day for two of the people he loves most in the world.

If that fails you have two choices and I would think that the answer to which one you go for depends on what type of guy he is. If he is the love of your life and usually a rational, loving, kind guy then I would make do with the cramped space situation. Once he sees that there's no room to move around and how much room the baby takes up he may come round or you can broach the subject again in a few months time if he hasn't come round and if you can't cope, explaining again that you love him and that you can't cope any more and that you desperately want to move out and even though you can't bear it to be without him and it will break your heart you may just have to for yourself and the baby and that you want him to come with you.

If he's not the love of your life, or he's a selfish, obtuse idiot who doesn't appreciate what he has then just go with choice 2 and move out without him.

That's what I think anyway.

I mentioned the crib and everything to him he said that dosnt need to be worried abou right now I tried to expalin it does I am not moving stuff when the baby comes and he said well worry about it later. I can't worry about it in 6 months I need to worry about it now. Ian so stressed it's not even funny. I need space and be happy. UGHHHHHHH

Hey hun Sounds like you BOTH have a lot of stress in your lives right now and in that you're BOTH going to have to make some compromises. I don't know what your OH is stressed about but maybe you can speak to him (calmly and, as said before, with lots of love) about when a good time to talk to him about it will be?

If you're both stressed you need to connect and focus on loving each other and not go over to the dark side where its just trying to get your point across because you don't think the other person is listening without trying to understand the other person. Remember the love you share and how important it is and how central it is to your happiness. Even if it takes one of you to remember that at this moment and save your relationship, you're saving both of you not just the "other" person. You are obviously individuals but you have to remember that you're also part of this couple and you both have a responsibility to that. It can be VERY difficult when there are stressful situations but just remember to be strong for one another and remember that each other are the important thing. If one of you can't remember that then the other HAS to otherwise the relationship will suffer as will your happiness.

If he doesn't come round I think it's good to remember that its not going to be impossible. I know this may not sound like what you want to hear but my parents had their first when they were living in a bedsit (a rented out room in a larger house with a cooker in the corner and everything in one small british room and a shared bathroom). And they managed. people manage in small spaces and maybe a few months down the line when he's not so stressed you can move. Talk to him! tell him what compromises you are willing to make and ask him what he can do too. Listen to him and express yourself.

No advice, just hugs...

Hope that you sort it out

QT

Tell him that you wont just be shrugged off until later and that worrying about things later is fine when it's just the two of you to think about but there's a baby on the way and being settled is the most important thing. If you could have a whole apartment rent free... why the hell is he living at his parent's house? 20 minutes is nothing, he's being ridiculous and if you're not happy... move to the apartment by yourself. Just put your foot down and be stubborn like him. One of you has to bend and it sounds like it's usually you. It's his turn now.

I'm with the "sod him and move out" brigade.

What the hell is he thinking! You have the opportunity to have your own space away from his parents place (kind of them as it is) to have your OWN little family. I'd remind him of his responsibilities and that living with his (albeit lovely) family is NOT an option.

When he grows up, remembers that he is no longer the child in your little family unit - but he is about to be the father to one(!) and is willing to put the happiness and wellbeing of his child and the mother of his child ahead of 15 minutes extra in bed, he is welcome to join you in the apartment. I hate how bloody selfish men can be at times. UnBELIEVABLE!

Put your foot down sweety. This is unacceptable. Ooh I want to slap some sense into him! He's really annoyed me!! GRRR!

Big hugs to you.

xxx

I agree with the other ladies

I would try & talk to him one more time than if he is still not having any of it I would move to the apartment on my own ... you being unhappy & crying all the time isnt good

I hope you sort it out soon